Young Writers Society

Thanks all for the critiques.

Ashleylee - That's really sweet of you. I'm not yet sure if there will be a follow-up, but if there is, I'll be sure to PM.

clograbby - Uh-huh, I see what you mean about the title. I didn't think it was too bad, but I'll bear what you say in mind.
With the everything quote, I was trying to show the 'everything' was a sort of object. I failed, huh?

I understand Anne's feelings, but I don't understand why she feels that way. What has happened in her life to make her fear love like this? What has influenced her? Where are these thoughts stemming from? She says she's been alone, but you mention her mother before.

This was hands down, a fantastic story. I really enjoyed the change of pace, everyone always talks about how great love is (myself included) so it was nice to read this side of love.

Your writing was pristine. Everything from style, tense, and grammar was perfection for me.

I am sorry I can not help more, I just really loved it!

Please PM me with your future installments.

Hey lhighton!

Title: Euggh, ohhh, man. I hate it. Sorry. It just sounds much too Harlequin Romance-y, and I'm sure that's not what you're going for. Plus, the imagery of a pool of kisses is somewhat vile.

‘You can have to much of anything. Even happiness.

Is it so strange that I think he might not look after that everything; that everything I’ve curtained off all my life?

I say it’s about me; making me his; putting the final stamp on the package.

Wow, I really enjoyed this. So real. I mean, you caught your MC's emotions perfectly. I mean, it was immaculate, the way you did it.

So Bravo to you!

This was jotted down on holiday, feeling a bit morose. Would like to know how the present tense worked... was it awkward or did it suit the mood? Thanks.