Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
Verena threw another knife.
What if she wasn’t back out there in no time.
She loved missions, loved the thrill of it.
It was like walking a tightrope over death; if you fall, you either die, or you catch yourself and rebound.
She readjusted her grip of the knife, eyes focused on the blaring red target.
She raised her arm, wrist loose. She flung her arm forward, wrist flicking downwards as the knife left her fingers.
If only these nightmares would leave, she felt a tad bit embarrassed that she was the only one who suffered from them. She remembered every target she killed. But she wasn’t supposed to care about them, yet she couldn’t shake that horrible feeling.
She watched it spin as she reached for another knife and flung it at the one inches from the target.
Verena kept reminding herself that these were terrible, evil people. She was doing the world a favour, yet it didn’t seem to be helping.
The second knife collided with the first sending it towards the black mark on the wall shd painted.
As the second knife hit the red target with a twang, the first collided with the wall the handle hitting instead of the blade. She snarled and dogged the knife as it rebounded towards her.
Verena stared at the knife as it clarted to eth floor the echo bouncing off the walls.
She stomped on it as she heard the clunk of combat boots, a group of shadows breezed past the glazed door.
Agents, no doubt heading out on whatever mission Flynn had left her for.
Verena shook her head, there was no room for this, feeling that tugged at her. She was an assassin, she killed people, what was she doing suffering from nightmares? Plus this, whatever strange emotion that lingered in her mind.
She picked up the knife and tugged the other out of the target.
What was the feeling that tugged at her?
Sympathy? Guilt?
The assassin scoffed, as if, it wasn’t in her nature to feel guilty, she was a cold blood killer, trained for this, there wasn’t an inch of her that felt guilty for killing people.
People who were loved.
Verna froze at the rouge thought.
No, they were bad people no one could love them.
No one could love her.
She replaced the knives on the wall.
Why did her mind keep going there, back at that moment?
“No one can love a killer,” Cass had whispered.
Why did that bother her so much?
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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
Hey Lady!
So I haven't read the previous chapters, so I can't really comment on story progression because it would be incomplete and nonsense. You've also already gotten a nice review that focuses on actual content, so I'll look at what could be reworked~
The assassin figure is really interesting, but it's a little cliché? I know we're already far into the story, but it's definitely something I've seen a thousand times with new names. That isn't a bad thing in general, but the actual depth the character has is lost in the complex of them being a killer and emotionless. I like that type of character in some settings, but not when it's basically the only thing about their personality that's heavily mentioned.
I'm not a fan of the bad character turned into some cinnamon roll, so I'm not saying that you should go all out here. I'm saying the opposite of that if anything too, because like I said, I like the angsty characters with sad backstories. I do want to see more light shined onto something that isn't considered a flaw though; like look at the part of "she was a cold blood killer, trained for this" when put next to something mentioning guilt.
Good question. Only you can answer it in a confident sense, but I'm leaning towards the old idea that she's afraid of hurting people if she gets too close to them. She recognizes that she considers herself a bad person, and maybe other people feel the same way. Once again, it's kind of an overused piece of character depth, but it works for the type of character you already have; cold-hearted, angst-filled, and possible not as evil as portrayed.
I'm also assuming that the Cass mentioned who has whispered is the assassin? Maybe I'm not great at reading, but if I am correct, it was kind of hard to figure out. I would prefer more clarity with sentences where you introduce a name that hasn't been seen yet because it helps the reader big time, but that might just be a problem because I didn't read the previous chapters before deciding to throw it out of the Green Room.
That's all I have to comment on, and I think you've already gotten enough commentary on anything else I could have mentioned. Good work!
- chi
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm baaack to this story...spotted this little chapter and thought I would take a look...this definitely continues to be interesting...xD
First Impression: Welll...this chapter was definitely very interesting....I mean...not a lot happened in it besides a lot of thinking and knife throwing but that little revelation at the end there...well...this definitely makes up for all of that...and I think giving a full chapter to that reveal is actually quite a good idea there.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well...that definitely is sounding like it would be a terrible situation...nailing that part home here quite repeatedly through the chapters...although I continuously get more and more curious about what's causing all of this here.
Hmm...well...that line was very interesting...
Hm...I love how the knives are being thrown here almost in time to each of her thoughts here...it gives the sense that she's thinking of a problem at a time and then trying to nail it in the face with a knife.
A conscience can definitely be like this...but I can't for the life of me stop thinking there's something more to this than simple guilt...it just doesn't seem like a trained assassin would have this much trouble overcoming guilt, especially if you're taking very much not innocent lives.
Oh dear...the knife is also conspiring against her...that could've been a horrible accident there.
Well her frustration is definitely crystal clear in this scene.
Well her mind just voiced exactly the same questions that I have...this is definitely a very interesting little conundrum to try and solve here....let's hope that reveal is somewhere nearby.
Oooh...she's definitely asking the right questions there...those emotions definitely can't be the root cause or at least not the sole root cause. It could never be.
Oh yeah...there we goo...now...that rogue thought is definitely going to answer a few question here.
Here we goo....
See now that....that is the kind of thought that tends to haunt you for a while....I suppose we now need to figure out who exactly this Cass is.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall...this makes for a really interesting little chapter here...can't wait to see what that revelation here might end up leading to. Well anyway...until then....that's all I've gotta say for now.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry