Hi LadyMysterio!
Hope you're doing well. I'm here to drop off a review for you. Let's get started shall we?
I apologize that I haven't read the previous chapter. But I think I got the main background. Someone attacked Zillah in the first chapter and took her city away from her. And she's got magic. Her wings gave that away, heh. Seems very cool!
I admit, that this chapter did seem very short. Not much happened here other than Zillah getting up and saying that she would find a way to get her city back. If we had known how and when, maybe this chapter could have lengthened a bit. Another way to make this chapter longer and not seem hollow, is to maybe add more details as to where Zillah is, and what her feelings are, and what the surrounding area looks like. I hope that makes sense!
I found a couple of little grammatical errors -
Zillah groaned and opened her eyes and immediately closed them. her head aching.
I think you meant to put a comma instead of a period.
Why is it so bright
You're missing a punctuation mark. There were a couple of other places where you were missing punctuation marks - I wanted to bring that to your attention. Make sure to proofread so you can avoid minor errors like these.
Man no matter how many this happened never seemed less painful. Wait where’s my staff?
I think you meant ...many times this... - a word was missing.
I think I understand your plot - that's great and I'm sure it'll turn out fantastic as well. Good luck! And that's it for my review. I hope it helped in some sort of way. Let me know if you have any questions!
Keep on writing!
~Liberty
Points: 825
Reviews: 453
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