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139,359 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
i really really ...really enjoyed reading this although i wish i could heard what it sounded like...other than that i think that it was pretty awsome and very detailed.
Really great song, I would like to actually hear it. Your really good with word choice. One thing that might make this stronger would be a bit of rhyming. I'm not saying rhyme every line, but every so often, it would give it greater fluency.
Hey Kwantack,
I liked this song.
You could call it "We're All People" or something like that.
Anyway, keep writing!
I really liked this, and it is full of emotion!
It was different because sometimes it didn't rhyme, but that didn't matter at all, because of the beautiful sentences.
It is really good, I wish I could hear the tune too. ^^
Well done!
Wow. Such a heartfelt, touching song. Wish I could hear the tune. A few blips in the sense of rhythm, but since it is a song, I don't think it should matter, but I wish I could hear it just to be sure. Which thing did you say you entered or were going to enter this in?
I wonder if you're talking about God in this song. It was an okay song though
Hi!
I really liked this.
It was really pretty.
~Shorty
I like it. The way you have the line breaks throws me off somewhat while reading it, but as it is meant to be a song, it doesn't matter. Only one nitpick:
The look in your faces
Prying up against the glass
Tells me that we will never
Be equal to.
Equal to what? Wouldn't it be better if you took off that "to"?
It looks pretty good. I wish I could hear the tune, but it does seem like there's a rythym to it. You use alot of good description that makes it interesting, and not boring. Good job.
My lyrics are a lot like this in a sense of speaking.
No rhyming.
But pretty otherwise.