If a society of any description consistently and defensively asserts itself as a society, it is no longer a society. A society exists only insofar as its progression is inclusive; inclusiveness comes out of choice, not through the commanders of emotional manipulation and literalness. Perhaps more aptly, if those who don't step outside claim to do so, but gather appraisal because of their social facade, a society dedicated to anything- be it art, literature, writing literature, seeing others write literature- would lack the fundamentals to even be considered a society. Regarding this, we are all in the midst of an ongoing popularity contest which seeks to eliminate criticism- not through a massive conspiracy, but more through elimination with kindness. A kindness with the most malicious intent. Much like the child that cries without tears. Much like appeasement to enhance passive coercion. There are more opposite extremes of the spectrum without a lack of an equilibrium, and even then, the neutral ones are too quiet and ignorant about their own neutrality. Perhaps it's time to speak up.
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140,692 Literary Works • 673,622 Reviews
TheShauzer covered it very well, so this will ultimately be a short review; you're obviously quite intelligent, and your sophisticated, powerful writing style is very interesting to read. I find the outlook on life and society in general, from your point of view to be a more subliminal occurence, rather than a society dedicated to anything. But you're right that we do try to eliminate criticism by being nice, that portion is agreeable, from a more cynical mindset. This does take a few tries to understand what it is you're trying to say, but I do appreciate your intelligent, high level of writing. Thanks for uploading.
Hey King,
I really like the intro.
This is a piece that I, admittedly, would never write because I simply don't write things that aren't fiction. But if I did try to, then I don't think I could've done a better job - at least not in this style.
I appreciate your use of vocab, it's incredibly extensive, intelligent, and it flows quite well. But make sure not to get lost in it. I mean, think of it like Chinese take-away. You eat a bit, mmmmmm delicious. Eat another bit, it's the same - heavenly. You eat too much, and it's looking back at you from the toilet bowl. If you use so much decoration, and get too elaborate, people won't understand. I know you're going for a persuasive style to pull people in but remember this isn't for those who care about good writing style; it is about your ability to pull people over to your side of the argument, to make people understand. Remember that the 'society' isn't filled with writers or even people who have reason to read enough to obtain the intelligence required here. I won't say 'dumb it down', because I hate that. Don't dumb it down, but certainly do make it more simple. You are talking to the average person and trying to convince them to drop their neutrality. I found it interesting and got the meaning, but a person who doesn't have cause to read will only find it interesting because they don't understand it and find that funny. This is not what you want, ESPECIALLY in an intro.
But I still liked it. I would be sad to see it made more simple but only for me - a writer - and the rest of us - writers. This is aimed at everyone, and I definitely think it important to make this more accessible to people with less patience and tolerance for the prettier words. That's about the only criticism I could give. I hope I helped, as I said I would never have written it (wouldn't have known where to start) but I like the angle you're taking it from. Just a bit simpler. Effectiveness - unfortunately, it's what I hate about non-fiction - over writing here.
Yours in ink,
TS.
Sorry about this one.