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Hi Avalon!

I loved your poem, by the way. The emotion it shows is very strong. It's true though. There's always two sides to a story. While one person's happiness might be someone else's sorrow. The poem clearly shows this message and it's very descriptive. I can't help but feel sad that the narrative lost someone he or she obviously loved and stood by was taken by someone else. However, I also believe that maybe s/he should've approached her but then again, maybe they did and her affections were else where. That wasn't really expanded during this so I can't make a guess but I still find this poem very well written. I can't wait to read more from you and keep up the good work, Avalon!

Sincerely,
Soulkana

Hi!
First off, this is a very pretty poem! It captures great emotion and has great imagery and description.

I was wondering if you might want to try stanzas for this poem. I love prose poetry, but I feel with the punctuation and the way certain words were capitalized, it might help emphasis pauses and the like. Especially the "Your miracle My tragedy". I feel as though two separate stanzas might really help your readers be able to focus on both parts equally and better feel the emotion.

Also, if you're going to capitalize "Miracle" and "Tragedy" in the first line, don't forget about the second. Consistency always helps the flow of a work, and the end deserves just as much emphasis on the words as the beginning. Remember, start strong, finish strong!

Also remember to have a period at the end. Without a period, it seems like the poem runs on and doesn't end there. You want to finalize your idea with a sold ".".

My last critique is to remove the "had" in "You had won her heart". The action of losing her and gaining her heart were simultaneous(or at least I assume) so you're going to want to have the same tense instead of him already possessing the girl's affections. This is also needed because the poem will flow better and having a sentence with straight sentence structure with verbs in the same tense unless specified by a conjunction or some sort of punctuation.

Overall great job! I really felt the narrator's pain and sorrow, and the reader can really tell how upsetting the whole unfortunate situation is. Thanks for posting your great work and I hope to see more from you soon!

Nice piece of writing. I really enjoyed it. Well written, good description and well thought out poem. Just be careful with punctuation and grammar. I couldn't find much wrong with it which is good. Overall a great piece, which engages the reader right from the start. Keep up the good work and stay at this great standard. Can’t wait for the next piece of writing you have for us.

Hey there, rhia here to sort of review!

I really like your prose-y style. Not enough people utilize this lovely form

You are very passionate throughout this, with a simple painful beauty. It is short and bittersweet.

I only saw two little things to possibly fix up.
1)

What was a happily ever after for you was #FF0000 ">an tragedy of loss and pain for me.