Young Writers Society

Call Me a Planet

A play by E.M.S.C

Setting: Deep in our solar system around the time Pluto is declared a dwarf planet

Cast: 

Pluto The loner planet upset that he's no longer called a planet. 

Uranus A jumbled up strange old-timer character 

Jupiter& Saturn partners in crime who delight to hear Pluto's change of status and bully him about it 

Neptune a caring two side type person who tells Pluto the great news. 

Mars your regular cold keep to myself type character 

Earth a rather dignified prideful character. 

Venus her twin sister who is very cruel mean angry stormy at Pluto

Mercury a feisty angry but at the same time malignantly intelligent charact

Act 1

Scene 1

Jupiter: Did you hear that Saturn? There calling Pluto a dwarf planet. It will really serve him well to give him a new status he needed it.

Saturn: Yes indeed Jupiter your mightiness but who will tell him about his being out of planet?

Jupiter: That's enough Saturn I have no patience for puns as for who will tell Pluto about his unfortunate fate Neptune Uranus will tell her the news.

Saturn: Am I the one who has to deliver the message to Uranus?

Jupiter: Of course you are

Saturn: Very well however I never really liked . . .

Jupiter: DO AS I SAY WITHOUT COMPLAINING I already know you hate Uranus there isn't a planet that doesn't.

Saturn: Uranus!!

Uranus: What is it Saturn what's so important that you had to disrupt my peaceful orbit?

Saturn: I expect you will be pleased to hear that Pluto is no longer a planet but a dwarf planet Jupiter wanted you to tell Neptune

Uranus: Whatever it's all the same to me. I'm just glad it's her not I that will tell Pluto. I've never cared much for him or any other planet particularly Pluto not after he gave me this awkward spin I so abhor!

Uranus: Good orbiting to you Neptune

Neptune: Uranus I know you’re there. It's not your style to be polite so can you get to the news?

Uranus: You must of heard then any way tell Pluto that we real planets no longer view him as a planet but a dwarf Planet

Naptune: Well he's not going to like that . . .but I'll tell him anyway

Uranus: Good 

Neptune: Not that you'd care

Uranus: Well I don't tolerate being turned over on my side! 

Neptune: Well happy orbit then

 . . .

Neptune: Pluto! 

Pluto: Yah what's up Neptune

Neptune: Uh . . .um  . . .Nothing good for you

Pluto: Ah come on Neptune nothings to bad

Neptune: What if I told you you are no longer classified as a planet?

Pluto: What! No way I am a planet!

Neptune: Obviously they don't view you that way anymore

Pluto: Well then to bad for them

Neptune: If you want to complain about this  go bother Saturn and Jupiter 

Pluto: Oh planet I'm doomed

Act 2

Pluto: Why can't you call me a planet? 

Jupiter: You are to small for one secant you aren't big like me of course 

Pluto: That's no reason! 

Jupiter: Why yes it is you don't even have a solid atmosphere! 

Pluto: What have I ever done to deserve this status I tell you I am a planet! 

So call me one! 

Song: Call me call me a planet

I've lived in this universe for millions of years 

and I've never known anything other then the life of a planet

and I'm a planet wannabe

so call me call me a planet*

I may be small I may have an odd orbit I may not be covered in gas

but call me a planet! 

Call me call me a planet!

I've lived in this universe for millions years and I've never known anything other then the life of a planet *Song lyrics soon to be posted by themselves

Jupiter:You'll never be a planet no matter what you say, no matter what song you sing.

Pluto: Fine be that way! See if the stars care!

Jupiter: Go whine to Saturn I've had enough of this

 . . .

Saturn: Hello Pluto aren't you so proud of your new status?

Pluto: Are you going to bug me about that? Come on why can't I be a planet? 

Saturn: Well dwarf planet you are to small your orbit is weird your aren't large and you aren't  as gorgeous as me and of course you don't have rings. 

Pluto: I will not be called a dwarf planet just because I don't meet your standerds of what a planet should look like! 

Saturn: I'm sorry but that's the way it is. 

Pluto: I've been a planet for thousands of years! 

Saturn: That can change and obviously it has. 

Pluto: But . . .but my being a planet's never changed

Saturn: Are you going to behave like this? Seriosuly go I'm not a planet pleading somewhere else. 

Pluto: I'm starting to wish I weren't a planet

 . . .

 Pluto: Mars can you help with something?

Mars: Why must the planets bother me? Fine let me hear it

Pluto: They say I'm a dwarf planet and I'm not can you clear that?

Mars: If we are to clear this we need to get the facts first what makes them say this?

Pluto: I'm to small don't have a right orbit and not good looking and I don't have a full atmosphere all the time

Mars: You must admit you my friend certaintly don't meet those standerds I can disagree with the looks but the rest . . .you know what let me put it this way-You aren't a planet! And even if I could argue otherwise against on of the points (And I can) I can't change the facts

Pluto: How can you be so cold?

Mars: That's the way I am. Take it or leave it. Besides you aren't close to the sun and you are mostly ice unlike me. 

Pluto: I'd rather leave it

Mars: Then do so promptly. If you hate being a dwarf planet that's your fault not mine.It's not my buisness. 

 . . .

Earth: Good day Pluto what is this I hear about you being called a dwarf planet? 

Pluto: Oh about that well they've all been saying that I'm not a planet that I'm to small I don't have rings don't have an atmosphere things like those. I don't see why I can't be one

Earth: Dear me! I've never heard of such a thing! alas I am sorry dear pluto but you must admit you certaintly can't be a planet not at those standerds. Besides personally I think a planet must be able to sustain life and have alot of breathable air.

Pluto: Your no better then the rest of them

Earth: I can't help it if my standerds for a planet are rather sorry. I truly am sorry

Pluto: About as sorry as the space dust

Earth: At least I have manners

Pluto: Well no help hear my as well bug Venus

 Earth: You can try but Pluto at least I have manners! My sister . . .my sister is about my opposite in all ways

 . . .

Venus: Well well well if it isn't Pluto the dwarf planet! 

Pluto: I am not a dwarf planet! 

Venus: I don't see you spinning correctly I don't see you with a decent atmosphere nor are you hot like me I do not care what you think!

Pluto: You never have

Venus: Oh and so I have if I made you rotate in the opposite direction you would to

Pluto: That was an accident Sun declared that!

Venus: That doesn't mean I can change my view

Pluto: Then I declare you deserved to spin that way! And because Sun said means that I don't have to change my views

Venus: Stop acting like a planet! Planets have rights! Dwarfs don't! 

Pluto: Well if your going to be nasty for eternity I'll just leave

 . . .

Pluto: Mercury! Just help me! They call me dwarf planet and they have been ugly about it! 

Mercury: Well they have no right to claim that. You are just as planet like as I if you haven't made an impact or have a odd orbit it's because your small. There catching hornets not bees with their honey that's for sure. Shall we go tell Sun about their manners? 

Pluto: At least get him to declare that we all must respect dwarf planets! 

Mercury: Very well let's go tell him

Act 3

Mercury: Your majesty do we have permission to enter your presence?

Sun: Yes you may

Mercury: I hope you won't mind sir if Pluto joins?

Sun: I do not mind I don't favor planets

Mercury: Good! Because Pluto has a problem that needs a touch of your power so to speak

Sun: Speak then Pluto

Pluto: You see Neptune came to me with the news that I was nolonger called a planet so I complained to all of the planets they all said they agreed that I wasn't a dwarf planet and they were aweful to me

Sun: Hmmm I understand you have been aweful to them as well. It was part of the agreement you'd admit your guilt in countering Uranus and Venus's orbit and that it was your fault and I'd let you go free . . .

Pluto: I have kept my part of the agreement

Sun: That you have very well but they haven't kept their part of it

Pluto: You made an agreement with them?

Sun: They'd leave you alone after that and put it behind them.

Pluto: Then you'll punish them?

Sun: No at least not yet I don't have to. I'll keep on growing and growing until I knock them out of their orbits.  However I will tell them off. 

Mercury: Thanks for sorting this out you majesty.

Sun: It's my job I take pleasure in it

Pluto: I guess that's see you next planet meeting? 

 . . .

Sun: All planets of this solar system welcome I have heard that Pluto has been called a dwarf planet. I will have no tolerance for this act. Please remember that he has kept his part of the argeement you have not. Pluto is a part of the solar system and obviously has no reason to be called a dwarf planet. What do you have to say for yourselves Jupiter and Saturn I greatly suspect you are behind this

Saturn: I . . .I  . . .am sorry but still . . .

Jupiter: I have no regrets! 

Sun: You will I'm sure. Just remember this-you can't take back what you have done and should Pluto be a true planet which he is we won't be forgiven for calling him such.

Jupiter: Very well. I see that your king not me

 . . .

And perhaps we all could learn from their mistakes! What did you learn from this play that's moral? Whos your favorite character? What's your favorite part? Why?