z

Young Writers Society



I Don't Need You

by EverLight


Note: You'll notice there is no description of what's going  around Mars and Gorgo that's because this is like a movie line script for a animated film. This is my secant attempt at any kind of script-and if you've read Call Me A Planet you'll no my first try was terrible-I hope this is much better then my first!

Gorgo: Look whose here without food either!

Mars: Gorgo I'm sorry I didn't bring food but  prey is hard to find these days

Gorgo: I bet it is-You've been seeing another cat haven't you?

Mars: Me? Seeing another cat? Gorgo, my love why would I . . .

Gorgo: Stop that Mars! I'm no fool! I can smell the scent of other cats!

Mars: What are you talking about?

Gorgo: Oh so you wanna play dumb? Well you won't fool me. You know perfectly well what I mean.

Mars: Fine! So what if I am? at least she respects me-unlike you.''

Gorgo: Oh sure I'm very disrespectful sneaking of to see another cat.

Mars: What I meant is that she doesn't complain about her own mate. That's why I want her

Gorgo: Oh so that what it's about-what you want?

Mars: No, that's not what I want-it's what I need.

Gorgo: What you need? Feh! What you want more like. I'll tell you what you need-me! Not another old cat!''

Mars: Well be like that then! I don't need you in my life!''

Gorgo: I don't need you in my life either so GET OUT!

Mars: Gorgo don't do this! You still need me!

Gorgo: I need you like I need a fever. I'm only saying this one more time-Get out!

Mars: Fine I'll go! See if you need me then!

Gorgo: I said get out. I mean it. Don't waste time like a fool.

Mars: If that's what you want then. 


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25 Reviews


Points: 805
Reviews: 25

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Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:16 am
Danceingtreeelf wrote a review...



Hello and before I get to far along I was totally sure that this was about the roman gods until the lovely word cat came in and then I was blown away. (just saying)

I wanted to start off with your subject is a bit out there for cats, let alone what im gonna guess is wild cats. But other than the heavy subject I do really like your style of the script, but something you have to do with scripts is that you have to kind of give them a lead in as well as a setting.

I did note your note at the beginning but, even in animated movies there is always at least a scene setter note so that the situation makes a bit of sense to the readers. I'm curious and do wonder where these cats are. Are they in an alley way or the forest in a grove, or along the seashore in a sandy cove? It could be anywhere and it just makes me curious. Other than that I enjoyed this a bunch, wonderful work and keep writing.

~Danceingtreeelf




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37 Reviews


Points: 1605
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Sun Apr 29, 2018 12:26 am
AriannaC wrote a review...



Hello! Happy Review day! My name is Ari and I am going to review your script today! (Obviously)

The first thing I want to say is this; Don't you think infidelity is a bit of a heavy subject for a cat script? I mean, a lot of children might want to go see the cat movie this script is for and get their minds corrupted!

This isn't really the kind of thing to take to heart, but I wanted to let you know.

Based off of this, I can tell that you have a very unique mind and writing style. You are awesome! Keep writing! Jesus loves you. <333




EverLight says...


Thanks! This isn't for kids and this isn't for a real live movie. But once again thank you!




The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
— H. L. Mencken