Perhaps an unruffled lake house, front porch of wicker furniture and a quiet wind. Sparrows sweeping between trees, willow leaves dipping in the glassy water. A worn novel on your lap, wind chimes serenading and a cup of chamomile tea cooling in the late afternoon. The sun dipping down towards the water, creating a pathway leading towards its orange-y brightness. The dew on the long grass winks in the gathering dusk, not yet evaporated from the noon-time thunder shower. And it soon becomes too dark for you to read, calling your tired eyes to sleep for the night.
Perhaps a padded window seat on a rainy Saturday. Curled up in a soft warm blanket, your favorite movie playing. A cat is asleep on your bed, near the pillows, legs stretched out as if to try and claim the coverlet as his own. The soft tip-tapping of rain on your window lulls you into a lazy afternoon stupor and outside the rain smells green, and deep mud-brown, and fresh, and wet-pavement all at once.
Perhaps a cold Atlantic beach at sunrise. The morning air wakes you better than any espresso macchiato and the waves stretch towards the marsh grass as though waking as well. Your feet move through the water at the edge of the tide toes sinking into the soft, wet sand. Gulls and sea birds flock and call out to the coming day. Alone along the water, your footprints fill with water as you wander, repetitive steps serene and rhythmic with the rolling of the waves. Hands tucked deep into your pockets but your face beginning to feel the warmth of the sun. Wandering up past where the hungry tide reaches the sand, you find a dry stretch of the course sand and sprawl out, allowing the sun to turn the undersides of your eyelids a fiery red as the morning loses its infancy.
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Hi! Just based on the title of the poem, it gives the reader a glimpse of what will be in the poem. A happy place may giving the reader with a sense of experience that will be used to explain the situation / place of joy.
The poet use the environment and daily routines favored as the main subject of the poem. Leads the reader to imagine each of what was said by words in poetic way and relaxing. It creates a calm mood when the reader can imagine the settings made. That's it, your poem is easy to understand.
The poem is written in paragraph form instead of stanzas, like most of the poems were written. Perhaps want to keep the concept of narrative in the poem, the poet finally choosing this form of poetry. It really depends on the poet. The impact will also appear in this style of writing.
I'm also really impressed with some figurative language that you use to provide variety in the poem. It is thus able to give more effect in every part of the poem waiting to be discovered by the reader.
--A personification.
Overall, every time I read this poem, I felt like being in a beautiful world! There is no conflict and just peace. I like the concept that is given. Of course it is different from other poems I have ever read. Good job!
Keep it up! Kudos, cheers
This is amazing. The imagery, the flow, everything is perfect. How beautiful a poem is, even in the form of prose! How clever it is to disguise a poem that way!
Well, perhaps it is not quite perfect, as I noticed a few mistakes.
There should be a comma after tide to separate the ideas.
That this is a fragment bothers me somewhat, but it is not too glaring an error.
"Course" near the end of the poem should be 'coarse.' A course is the path ones takes, while coarse means rough.
Other than those few things, I truly loved this piece. I especially love how you described rain - the way you described it as smelling like a color is beautiful, and it truly does smell green, as well as all those things you mentioned. It makes me long for a cool, rainy day.
I could go on and describe how I love the vividity of your entire poem, but it would be a long, long review. But I must say that I love the last line. It so perfectly captures the feeling of lying on the cool sand, under the warm sun, as it paints pictures of color in your mind. And "as the morning loses its infancy." I cannot think of a more beautiful way to describe it. This whole poem is truly a work of art, and that final sentence is the perfect ending.
Hey, Katherine:)
Here's a hopefully sufficient review for you:
Alrighty. Right off the bat, I noticed there was a very developed mood throughout out the piece: lethargy; tranquility. All simulated from not just quaint imagery with a "supple" quality (very sensuous) so to say, but the use of very languid, drawn language. Words with stretching, sleepy syllables and dreamy parameter. I seriously almost fell asleep reading this -- in a GOOD way.
It was like a lullaby; very soothing and melodic and subtly overwhelming. I have to applaud this.
And then....hmm. A Happy Place...
I liked the inquisitiveness.
"Is it when we dream that we have peace, or when we finally wake?"
How you've blended it with old school romantic sentiments and transcendentalism.
I hope to read more from you (especially outside of class assignments). Well done.
Happy Holidays,
- <3Max
P.S did you get a good mark for this?
I did! Thanks!!