Woah there~ First impression: way too long of a first sentence. Too many things thrown at me at once. My impression. The night is crisp. Why let us into it with a languorous sentence more suited for warm houses?
Also, does the headstone radiate some sort of warmth? If not, the movement would keep him warmer than standing still. Even just walking around keeps one warm, but when you sit and stare and don't move, you can feel the cold start to creep through the fabric of your clothes. So if that's what your story is kind of revolving around, it might -cringe- need a major face lift.
I think this was gunning for something and missed the mark. Like, in quick description, a man sitting in a grave and watching a rat eat through the body of his dead wife. That's powerful and disturbing. I feel like the distance of the man's processing of the scene is necessary and intentional, but rather than just distance and numb him, you've shrunken him down in his own words so we feel like this piece is hardly worth it. You use "mere" two times in a sentence, if that's not enough of an explanation. You're bringing him down with his own words, and though he'd degrade himself, I don't think it'd be as politely as "mere". Even were he so weak and hopeless, he had the fire in himself to make himself walk all the way out to the graveyard, so he can't be that weak yet.
[On a note slightly related because of the repetition, the first line is made more unpalatable by the repetition of "action" .. "now" , "action" .. "now" -- the repetition of the sentence structure with now.]
You also fall into the trap of wordiness a few times. You have a requirement to fit! Why would you waste words on "and less" when less on its own will do and "eventually" adds nothing to the sentence? Work through it carefully. Make words do double duty. Then you'll have room to fit more, like hints as to whether this is a regular thing or a first time thing and how long its been since death -- if this is a new widower or a man whose grief has caught up with him after ages and ages of pretending to live with it.
Furthermore, an undertaker usually hangs out in the funeral parlor doing embalming 'n' stuff. Why's he out in the cemetery?
Lastly, at the end the way you've structured the sentence makes it seems that the rat is concealed and "now flees" at the same time. You could say "who had been" or something to separate the times.
I guess I want more vividness, even though you're covering it with the numbness of the man. If this vague description is not, in fact, of characterization design, then definitely give me something: a texture of this night. the crunch of bone? or just scratching against it? does it sound like stone or china when scraped? Even one shivering detail would make this resonate much better.
PM me with questions or comments! c: Good luck~
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