I dreamed
and waves crashed
against the dark rocks.
Foam glittered
and landed on my cheek
so cold.
I saw a creature
jeweled and fine
crawling out of the water
towards me.
Her fingers
were slender and white.
The grey sky flashed
and illuminated
her black eyes.
I dreamed
and my creature
vanished.
Lightning flashed
and thunder
rumbled.
Sorrow, relief,
fear, anger.
Whoosh, whoosh.
I was
alone,
all alone.
I woke up.
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^Were the bolded words meant as a "replacement"?
because it's unnecessary once you see the big picture that KJ wanted you to see.
I dreamed a dream
and waves crashed = " that waves crashed"
against the dark rocks.
Foam glittered and landed on my cheek
so cold.
I saw a creature
jeweled and fine
crawling out of the water
towards me.
Her fingers were slender and white.
The grey sky flashed
and illuminated her black eyes.
I dreamed a dream
and my creature vanished. " that my creature vanished"
Lightning flashed and
thunder rumbled.
Sorrow, relief,fear, anger.
Whoosh, whoosh.
I was alone,
all alone.
I woke up.
This is realy a vivid manifestation of your great ability to picture an image through poetry. You use a free verse style that is fitted to the flow of imagery you are pointing out in your work.
hmm... your imagery was very good, and your spelling and grammar was spot on. However, the point of this poem evades me. What is it supposed to be about. Also, if you're already dreaming that you saw a creature, why do you start dreaming again and she dissapears? And how is she important? If you're going to reuse a phrase such as "I dreamed a dream" you need to do so clearly.
Overall, good job.
--Dreamy