Needles and Roses - Chap. 10

“And aura,” he begins to answer, “is everything. It is the reflection of our souls, our state of mind, our very life.

Then my mine is already racing to other questions I have tucked away.

“How old were you when you… became a… vampire?” I discover that I do not like the word. [s]But even I can’t explain why. [/s]

I rapidly do the math in my head. If what they say is accurate, then that would make Avani ninety-four.

Sudeep’s anguish is like a knife in my side.

“Yes, thought it’s uncommon.”

“Sudeep was no’ always one o’ the Volun’as,” she tells me. I draw back in surprise. Sudeep speaks of the Voluntas with reverence, respect.

Before I can ask her why, she goes on, “The reason why you are ’avin’ ’rouble with bein’ like the Necaz, evil wit’ no concern o’er anyone else, is because Sudeep used ’o be one o’ them. An’ bein’ made by ’im, you ’ave inheri’ed the Necaz’s na’ure.”

I know his feelings will come to me in a moment, and I don’t want to feel what I see there, raw and exposed on his perfect face.

I want to find a dark corner and make my mind a blank again.

He’s finished [s]with[/s] arguing with Avani and she’s won.

This new world, so alien to me, is in many ways startlingly captivating and yet repulsive. While I can see the pleasing details that were not there before—such as how the stars seem brighter and closer—I can also see all the flaws that had been hidden also. The mold on the walls, the smoke in the air high above us. The other repulsive smells that accompany the urine scent, the deep wrinkles in the old woman’s’ face, and the fleas that bury themselves in her hair.

For a moment I am swept with an almost overwhelming desire to laugh, but I manage to check it, with an effort that makes my chest heaves as if I’ve run for miles.

The smells and the noise I cannot do anything else but endure as Sudeep leads me. The animals are louder then ever before, and the smell coming off the small mounds of horse manure on the cobblestones make my nose sting. The talking, and haggling over prices, screeches in my ears. My eyes see too much at once, and it all is too confusing for me. If Sudeep did not have a firm grip on my hand, I would stand unthinkingly, and in due course find a place to curl into a ball.

Hey KJ

I personally, liked this chapter. It was very informative, but in a more gracefull way- if that makes sense. The begining was great when you started with that rhyme about vampires. This is also a very different story and I think you did a great job at keeping the pace steady while talking about vampires. Something other writers do not do well. You rocked this chapter, I just hope the pace picks up more in the next chapter. I can't remember if you had foreshadowing in this chapter, if you did- it was good(it might have been in another one of your chapters).
OVERALL:
-very detailed
-informative
-creative as usual


Moony


P.S. You better get that next chapter out quick!