Morphers
By: JustinTheAuthor
Prologue
Somewhere in a North American jungle, scientists began experimenting on animals. The experiments went wrong and the scientists accidentally created a serum that was new to mankind. They were trying to find a cure for new diseases, but now they didn't know exactly what their new creation would do. They started to test the serum on animal subjects, but there was no change in the animals. They began to experiment on human beings and saw some change in the genes. They closed themselves from the outside world and continued the experiments in secret. This is the story of how I discovered what they were doing and what they did to me that changed my life.
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well..first of all what I notice here is that what we've got here is probably more of a synopsis or a summary here, maybe even a blurb but I would personally not call this a prologue, it certainly doesn't read like most prologues do at any rate, so there's that out the way....now onto the actual content here.
Well...now onto this here idea, hmm, scientists experimenting on things and accidentally creating dangerous, super or wild serums is a kind of story that's as old as time itself at this point...but hmm...there's certainly room for unique kinds of serums....and for once it looks like the scientists were smart enough to test out the serum on animals and other humans rather than themselves, which is already very different from most stories.
And well the actual abilities of that serum certainly seem like it could be quite interesting, especially considering the title that you've got on here. And a story of someone stumbling upon this secret certainly seems like it could be quite interesting. There's not too much you can draw about how the story would actually be written here, but as far as the idea goes here, it sounds like it could be a pretty cool story.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, it'd make a cool story, and it seems like a relatively original storyline that would be interesting to read. Aaaand that's about all I can say here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hi Justin!
I'm finally able to review your new novel Prologue and am very excited to do so! The title sounds very intriguing
In the beginning of the paragraph, you state that the scientists are experimenting on animals. Later, you seem to contradict yourself and say "started to test the serum on animal subjects". If they began testing them first, then why have they started to again?
Make sure to add descriptive words as you continue writing and revising. Make sure to split sentences up instead of adding an and, as in " The experiments went wrong and the scientists accidentally created a serum that was new to mankind", you could make this " The experiments went terribly wrong. The scientists accidentally created a serum that was new to mankind". I also added a descriptive word to that!
Overall, very well done, Justin! Your plot seems interesting and I look forward to continue reading these!
Keep up the good work,
Shea
Welcome to YWS! I feel like this review will be no longer than several lines because this is the lenght of the prologue we are having now also. For a beginning, I think it is interesting as the idea is something I have not thought of myself. It kinds of catches the eye but it really depends on how you will continue the story with its first chapter. I would to see it and hopefully it is revealing only a bit, not everything, because I do not like then authors just spoil everything and reveals all the secrets at the very beginning. The last lines leave the author attached to the story and make them want to read more. The same happened to me. I have no complains about this short prologue, it only gave a bit of information. I personally do not like knowing that much but some do so I do not find that as a problem here. I am gladful that you have no grammar issues so I do not need to talk and explain anything any longer.
Again, welcome to the side and hope we all help you improve, have a good day!
This is a neat idea for a story, and although you haven't uploaded any chapters it does sound like something I'd be interested in reading. But this felt more like the blurb on the back of a novel than an actual prologue. Since this is so short, I think once you start writing you could actually be looking for where you can put this information into the actual story so you can leave this whole paragraph out. You could even just italicize it and stick it in front of the first chapter. Besides that, I'd like to see a bit more interesting vocabulary, throw in some rarer, stronger and more vivid synonyms. Replace "change" with "transformation", for instance.
There's not much else to comment about -- I look forward to seeing the first chapter, and welcome to YWS