Arsonist

Hey there, Mem here for a review. Happy review day!

First things first, who is this "he" I want to know more about him and the connection he has to the reader. I want more emotion, as I was reading I couldn't help but to feel like its told in a monologue tone, adding emotions will help the reader feel. There's a lot of metaphors here that I really like, but it doesn't really yell fire to me except of course when you mention it. You're telling me more than you are showing so that needs a lot of fixing.

All in all I think it's a great idea but it reads like someone is bored, tone is everything to me and I judge hard on that. Emotions are non existent and you want the reader to feel. Less telling and more showing would help a lot in these areas. This is more prose than it is poetry to be honest and I think you could actually edit it to be something more than what it is now. I'd read the hell out of it.

Keep on keeping on and Im hoping this review isnt too harsh to you. Hope to see more from you again soon.

~Mem

Wow that was something I am PusheenTheCat and today I am going to be writing a review for you.

First I would like to say that this was really good and when I saw it for the first time and started reading I just couldn't stop. Also I really like the way you put everything together.

Second I would say is that I really like all of the words you used and the way you put them in the story. Also to say that you are a really good writer and that you took time and wrote this good.

Third I was going to say that this was really powerful and good like when you said.
"'When you say hello to him you will choke and cough on the smoke from the fire
And sparks will fly to sear your rib cage black.
He will hold your hand and press a lit match to your wrist until the veins burn, the fuse snaking its way through your arm, your shoulder, then down to your heart"' This is where I really couldn't stop reading this story I just wanted to keep going and wanted to keep wanting to write more.

This was a really good story and I hope that you will write more in the future and I will keep reviewing for you. Keep writing and good luck in the future.

Holy sweet mother of smoking balls of fire. This is one hell of a powerful poem, hun. Where do I even begin?

First of all, This comparison is genius. A toxic lover being compared to an arsonist, that is... Goodness. Okay okay, so. Firstly I must say my two most favorite lines here are "And you will mistake the bite of first-degree burns for the ache of love." and the entire last three lines "But he hopes / ... / That his laughter will sting more." I adore the first one because I have felt that exact feeling, knew it was bad for me, and craved it even so. I like the last part because when I was in that situation I never blamed anyone but myself, and in this it's a reminder that hey, this guy is kind of a bad character, he's pretty screwed up too so maybe it's not only your fault.

I like how this is short enough that it doesn't really need any definitive stanzas, the flow works nicely to keep it going without it running together.

The phrase "breathe oxygen down your throat" sounds a little bit off to me, the word throat seems to hiccup the rhythm to me. Perhaps "breathe oxygen into your lungs" as a substitute. (bear in mind I only offer replacements so as to be more helpful than just "this sounds weird", of course feel free to ignore said suggestions!!) I also feel as though more unique words could be used in the second to last line other than "burned", maybe "his heart fell to ash a long time ago" or "he scalded his heart a long time ago". Again, just ideas!

Aside from those little quirks I think this is absolutely a passionate and powerful poem. It is simply amazing, and I am so happy to have the chance to read it. Thank you so much, and write on!