Young Writers Society

Hello there!

Happy review day! Mialynire here for a review. I like what you have here. I find it rather twisted! I'll explain!

First off, the title. "Poisoned?" For a poetry about memories, it's an unusual one. Only if you don't mean it in a slight different way... Here, was the wife somehow responsible for the husband's death (Like, poisoned him?) even though she loved him? That stuff do happen, you know? xD I study crime and I've found plenty of cases like that. Whatsoever, that's just a suggestion!

Second thing is the first line. Little objection there! :3 "And as the breath left his body" this could sound better... Like, as he passed his last breath or something even better!

Now, the rest of the poem. It's little too short, you see? When writing memories, one tends to write prolonged details. Like, from the beginning- how did they meet, how the events took place, every little silly things.. :') But, tis your choice, after all.

Remember, we promised, didn't we?
Together forever, and now it's just me.

Hi, Aly here with a review.
This was pretty short, so there's not too much to critique, but I do have some things to say about it. First off, I liked this a lot. The rhyme at the end gives me a very lost, somehow bittersweet, and nostalgic feeling. The only advice I can really come up with is grammar-related. Each 'my' should be capitalized. Each sentence should end with a period or a comma. Also, in the second line I feel like the word 'that' should be changed to 'who'.
Well, that's all I can think of. I hope this review helped anyways.
-AlyTheBookworm