Part One: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/Joelsweet/For-What-Its-Worth-130670
Part Two: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/Joelsweet/For-What-Its-Worth-Part-Two-130756
Jeane handed Lomytion the shears and the first mate held them in his outstretched hands, contemplating them. Conflict and desperation mingled on his face. He looked at Glissadner first, who was pleading with his eyes. ‘Don’t do this. Please.’ Lomytion then turned his head to see his captain, who had his thick arms folded.
“Go on. What are you waiting for?” Lomytion put his fingers into position on the shears and cut through the air a few times, testing their capability. He stepped closer to Glissander, who wasn’t struggling at all. Lomytion leaned forward and whispered something into Glissander’s scarred ear that only he could hear. Lomytion reached down and gently held Glissander’s slender hand, their fingers interlocked. Then, as soon as it had come, Lomytion relinquished his hold.
“Start cutting right down the middle,” the captain instructed. Lomytion bit his lip, his face full of sadness and resignation, and positioned the shears on Glissander’s scalp right at the front. The shock of the cold metal touching his skin caused Glissander to shiver. It didn’t help that he was still shirtless. Goosebumps began to bloom all over his dark skin. He bowed his head and closed his eyes.
Suddenly, Lomytion stepped back and backwards, yanked the shears away stiffly and turned to the crew.
“Go! Nothing to see here!” he commanded loudly, and tried to wave them away. Not a single person responded verbally or moved to leave. They all just stared at him in silence. Lomytion sighed. “Rum’s hidden under one of the floorboards of the hold. It’s all yours.” The pirates stampeded to the hatch, yelling and shoving each other and roaring. The three of them were left there. (Four, if you count the motionless merman.)
“Well, your audience is gone,” the captain said, annoyed. Lomytion closed his eyes, shook his head, and hurled the shears aside. They skittered across the damp deck until they came to a wobbling stop a good twenty feet away.
“No,” came Lomytion’s steely reply. The captain’s eyes bulged.
“What?!”
“I said no.” Lomytion strode closer to the captain. “Because I realized something. For all of these years I’ve been your first mate, you’ve never said thank you. Not once.” The captain began to protest when he heard this, but Lomytion cut him off. “Be quiet. I am talking. All I’ve done is be loyal and helpful, while you’ve exploited me and never given me any credit. Well guess what? I’m done.” The captain glared at Lomytion, a furious red spreading across his face. “Glissander has given me nothing but love and affection. And you know what else? He doesn’t go back on his word,” Lomytion stated. “Not like you did. And so no, I will not be cutting off all of my partner’s hair for your financial gain. Glissander was so kind and generous to offer up half of it to you, but that wasn’t enough, was it? Now that you’ve let your greed take over, you get nothing!”
A roar of anger ripped from the captain’s throat as he lunged for Lomytion, who drew his sword and pointed it at the shorter man’s throat.
“Now, now, I wouldn’t do that. Hands up.” Glowering, the captain complied. “And drop your weapons.” Cautiously and slowly, the captain unsheathed his sword and dropped in on the deck, still within reach of his feet. Lomytion had seen the captain perform this trick before, and kicked it away, on the handle so that his bare feet weren’t cut. The captain snarled. “And now the knives.” One hand still raised, the captain pulled a concealed knife out of his sleeve and let go of it; next came the one in his boot. Lomytion’s eyes narrowed. “All of them.” The captain sneered like an angry wild cat and pulled a knife from his other boot, from under his hat, and from the inner pockets of his coat. They fell the the wooden boards with a clatter. Swiftly, Lomytion slid them away with his foot.
“Now, Glissander!” Lomytion called. While Lomytion had been giving the captain a piece of his mind, Glissander had slid off his boots to make running easier and cut through his bonds. He’d been passed a knife when Lomytion had held his hands. Glissander leapt up and sprinted to the rowboat tied to the deck. He heaved the merman into the boat, not bothering to untie the net he was tangled in. That would have to be done later. The poor creature hadpassed out from not being able to breathe well above the water.
“Sit down in that chair!” Lomytion demanded, and pointed to it. The captain trudged over to it and obeyed. Lomytion kept his sword level with his captain’s jugular and said, his eyes never moving, “Glissander, get some new rope.” Glissander dashed to the supply chest and procured a coil of sturdy rope. Knowing what Lomytion wanted it for, he returned and began tightly wrapping it around the captain. He tied secure knots, and made sure that his hands couldn’t budge.
Lomytion sheathed his sword and ripped off a sleeve of his canvas shirt. The strip was used to gag the captain's mouth.
“If they hear you, they’ll just think it’s Glissander,” the former first mate explained. “Although,” he added, “it’s unlikely that they’ll hear you over their festivity.” He heard the captain’s muffled yelling and smiled. “Glissander, please hurry and get us enough food and water to last us.” Glissander nodded and ran off to go below deck and to the galley. (Thankfully, it was above where the crew was getting intoxicated.) After Glissander left, Lomytion picked up his fallen coat and his lover’s tops from where they lay. He tossed them into his rowboat and sprinted to his room.
Lomytion bit his lip and looked around the room, wondering what he should take. Lantern? Yes. He grabbed it, as well as a half-empty box of matches. Sadly, Lomytion only decided to take his two favorite books with him. He struggled to get the desk drawer open, and took a wad of bills out of a sock. It was all he had, and it wasn’t much, although it was more than what Glissander had; which was nothing. He couldn’t very well take all of them, even if he wished he could. The He also grabbed the thickest blanket he had, and returned outside without looking back. It would just make leaving more difficult.
Glissander was standing there waiting for him, and Lomytion was reminded why he was leaving everything behind. His heart swelled at the sight of the fairy, breathless and with a small, lopsided grin, a bulging sack slung over his slender shoulder. It had taken months to get Glissander to smile, Lomytion remembered. He was so shy and closed off at first, but Lomytion gradually had coaxed him into opening up. Even now, six months into their relationship, it was still hard to get Glissander to even talk about himself. He just didn’t feel like he deserved the attention. But Lomytion was building up his partner’s confidence, piece by piece.
Together, they loaded all of the supplies onto the rowboat, threw the paddles in, and lifted it over the edge. Slowly, they lowered the boat until it hit the water with a heavy splash. Lomytion did a sarcastic salute to the enraged captain, who was wriggling as he tried to escape. He began descending the rope down the the waves, and Glissander followed. They moved quickly although the bulky rope was scratchy, and the side of the ship was slippery. But, at least Lomytion’s hands were weathered, and both of their bare feet gripped the wood well. Lomytion got cut by the barnacles near the end of the trip down, but he hardly noticed. Once they hit the boat, Lomytion hacked the ropes away with his sword, and they each picked up a pair of paddles.
“First, shouldn’t we help him?” Glissander looked to the still merman, concerned. Lomytion chewed his lip.
“Right now, we have to go,” he said hesitantly. “We can help him after we gain some distance from the ship.” Glissander nodded sadly and they began rowing as hard as they could over the rolling waves. The sun was covered by clouds and it wasn’t too hot, so the work was easier than it could have been. When the ship was out of sight, they stopped. GLissander sighed, and gingerly stepped over to Lomytion. He kissed him delicately on the lips.
“Didn’t get a chance to say thank you,” Glissander said after he pulled away.
“Of course,” Lomytion ran a hand over Glissander’s head, and the fairy closed his eyes contently. Reluctantly, he moved away and over to the merman. The knife from before was extracted, and Lomytion drew his sword. They cut the ropes away from the pale form confined in them, salvaging what they could in case they needed it later. The creature was was carefully lifted out of the boat and slid into the water, making sure his gills were below the surface. Gradually, his gills began flapping as he sucked in breath. Soon, his golden eyes fluttered open.
They were beautiful, to say the least. The orbs had round pupils, and although they were stunning, they gave Lomytion an unsettling feeling. They were a fish’s eyes. The mer floated there for a bit, regaining consciousness and taking in his surroundings. He flipped over so that he was upright, his gills still underwater. Glissander and Lomytion straddled their legs against the boat so it didn’t tip over, and leaned over the edge. The mer looked confused and fearful at first when he saw their faces, but then he seemed to recognize Glissander. He swam closer a reached a dripping, webbed hand out of the water. He placed it on Glissander’s cheek and smiled.
Glissander gave a smile back to the merman, whose glassy eyes were shining in appreciativeness.
“He probably doesn’t know what exactly was going on earlier,” Lomytion remarked. “But it seems like he knows that you were trying to help him and saved him, I think.” The merman relinquished his touch, and bowed his head deeply to Glissander, and then dipped his head to Lomytion. Gracefully, he dived, his tail and fin slipping above the surface for a second. They watched until the merman disappeared in the murky depths.
Lomytion suddenly groaned.
“Ugh! I forgot to grab his gold when we left!”
“That’s alright,” Glissander assured, and turned to his partner. “I’m sure he’s got a lot more of it.” Lomytion inclined his head in agreement, and grabbed his paddles.
“We should keep moving. The crew might have found the captain and started chasing us down already.” Glissander didn’t respond for a bit, and then whispered,
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Lomytion asked kindly.
“I know the ship was your home…” Glissander trailed off. Lomytion chuckled sadly.
“I made a choice. And I chose you. So don’t worry about it.”
“You didn’t have to..,” Glissander mumbled, avoiding eye contact. Lomytion set down the paddles and pulled his lover into a tight hug.
“Yes, I did. You’re worth more to me and are kinder to me than anyone on that ship ever was. So please, know that I love you and I don’t regret my decision,” Lomytion affirmed.
“I love you too,” Glissander replied softly. They sat there a moment in each other’s arms, just enjoying the familiar warmth, safety, and scent. Lomytion pulled away slowly and Glissander gave him a grateful smile.
“Well,” Lomytion sighed. “We have a long way to go before the shore.”
“Yeah.” Glissander drunk in his lover’s face for a moment with those huge navy blue eyes, and thought of the future waiting for them just beyond the horizon, glimmering like the sunset on the water.
~The End
(I hope you like this! I know it might not be as good as the other parts, but it was fun to write a good ending for once. I might write more elaborating on Lomytion's backstory soon.)
Art for this story: http://joelsweet.deviantart.com/art/For-What-It-s...
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Hello there! Luckily, I had enough time to be able to read the previous two parts of this story, so I definitely, sort-of, understand what's going on in this final part. I have no idea what actual time period this story is set in, besides being a pirate-era, but that could basically exist whenever, but that's okay. I like the whole merfolk, fairy-world, and I definitely enjoy the fact that you included a gay couple in this story. Not enough people realize that gay couples can be placed in the same situations as straight couples and be perfectly fine. So kudos on that note!
I also liked your descriptions, especially with the merman, and the revenge on the captain was definitely great.
I agree with what Casanova said below me, about how there definitely is a large amount of dialogue. In fact, all three parts of this story really does contain a large amount of conversations that could have been better written off as descriptions, to better add to the overall world the story takes place in. As to how the characters themselves converse, some of the conversations do seem rather awkward, especially when it's between the main couple. Unless they're both very proper people, it seems that people so in love should behave at least slightly more overall affectionate with their lover. If you had placed a time date in this story, it could explain why there were so proper with each other, if it was during times where being improper was an awful offense, but I have no idea here. I would recommend that you change some of the conversations to just being a little more casual towards each other.
One more thing - there were a couple of typos: you put "was was" at least once, but overall your grammar was pretty decent. All in all, I liked this, but the characters were a little proper I think. I mean, as a reader I could tell they loved each other very much, sacrificing them self for each other, but their dialogue just did nit have the air of being in love, at least to me. Still though, this was pretty good. It'd be interesting to learn more about Lomyyion's backstory, so I hope you write that some day. Good job! See you!
I think what really takes away from this is the dialogue and the length. It seems like you could do so much better without the amount of dialogue in the beginning part. Let the characters emotions shine through from this, and let them let thee story unravel through other means besides dialogue, and I think it would be a lot better.
Anyway, I think the plot is decent and your characters are just a bit dull, but you could improve this easily just with the dialogue thing I mentioned a moment ago
Anyway, that's all for now. Short review, apologies.
Keep on keeping on,
Sincerely, Cas
Thanks for the review ^^