If only

I think you have potential in writing lyrics. I study them and all that stuff as a hobby. Their are a few tiny tiny things that could be improved on but that's alright. I'm not sure if this was a typo but there is an "a" just chilling in this line right before the word that's.. "A year now a that's how it's been" . I'm not sure if I'm just having one of those moments or what , but if it happens to be a typo then a simple 30 second proof read can fix that.

Hope i didn't come off as a jerk, that was not my intentions.

KEEP WRITING

-Rebels scream silently-

this is awesome

Hi there! Music here for a review.

In general, I loved these lyrics so much!! I loved the topic, and the meaning of your song! I was also relatable to me so it helped connect me to it.

However, I have a few nit picks. First, your lyrics are great, but because of the lack of separation, the song seems chunky and un-flowing at times. I would suggest you separate it out into half or stanzas even though it is a shorter song.

Second, me and head, and chorus and knew don't match or rhyme. Granted, not everything has to rhyme in a song, but seeing here most everything else rhymes, it might add a better effect to your song if you worked on those rhymes.

Now I know you said this was your first ever song, in that case it may have been just an experiment and you don't want to necessarily change it. If that's the case, that's totally fine! By all means, this review is just a suggestion I'm not wanting you to change your whole piece! That'd be ludicrous! I've had reviews like that that just change up my whole piece. So no, think on it and so what you want with it! I hope this review was helpful and I didn't come on too strongly. If you fix the little things though, I think the song will be even more better!

As always, keep writing! You're good at it!
~ musicandme

This is lovely.
You got me humming a tune for this in my head.

One little critique.
There should have been another verse and a bridge perhaps. It's a tad abrupt and even though these are lyrics, we still want to know what happens next.

Keep up the awesome work.

It's a really nice piece.


The second line is missing the other quotations it needs!

I think it needs to be a little longer, it needs more details about how much love there is towards this guy.

Also, don't try to make it rhyme to much, if you haven't noticed the only songs that really rhyme in today's music is holiday music, or stuff off of kids shows. Instead of focusing on rhyme focus on your words, it will sound better.

Really good for a first try!

-Phoenix

Hi!
I really enjoyed this piece! There were just a few grammatical errors I want to point out:

"Today's the day the day you see me for me (I don't think it adds to this line to repeat the phrase the day.)

but that won't put my story to end (I really enjoy this line!)

A year now a that's how it's been (The a after now should probably be an or and.)

I think this is a really cute love story, where hopefully the other significant other finds out how this person feels.
Keep up the awesome writing!
xoxo
Rascalover