Garnets on the Asteric Plane - Chapter 4

But no one would know that he'd be using her for an alibi. It was simple, he'd go off and take out his target, and if questioned he'd tell them he couldn't have had anything to do with it since he'd been kidnapped and Maria would be out of his way. Two birds with one stone.

The door of the guest room opened. "So, not to be an annoying house guest, but is there any food around here?"

Ilias didn't respond; she could find the kitchen easily enough. Plus he couldn't remember the last time he was here, so that food was most likely moldy. He heard her footsteps through the living room, and then into the kitchen. Easy as pie. He walked out of his bedroom, silently closing the door. He watched as she walked back out from the kitchen with something to eat. So that wasn't completely disgusting yet. He watched her go into another room, one he never actually used much. She looked at the cow-shaped chair, and his desk that he'd never wrote on. Who writes on a wavy desk?

"Well, that must be difficult to write on," she muttered, taking another bite.

He walked up until he was right behind her to speak. "It is. Also you're very trusting of the food in this place. They've been here for awhile."

Maria whirled around and found herself face-to-face with Ilias, who was leaning on the door frame. He maintained a serious expression as he took a sip of his kaje. The priceless expression on her face made it worth the trouble of walking quietly and possibly exposing himself as an assassin. "Well, I've eaten moldy tomatoes before and been fine. It's another kind of tolerance. I'm pretty sure my immune system and the bacteria in my gut are invincible now. Super-bacteria, if you will." She bit into the thing again. He didn't even remember what it was called.

"Great. You're tolerant to bacteria. Good to know. I can't overload you easily with rotten food." He snorted, walking past her. "Good morning, by the way."

"Yes, cross that off the list of ways to murder me." She looked around. "Is it morning? I couldn't tell."

"Mhm." He sipped coffee from his mug, which had a protective lid on it. Clearly, she knew very little about the asteric plane. She didn't know that liquid went in any direction but down, she didn't know about wearing fitting clothing, nor did she know how many masses of paparazzi just waited in the astericport. "Don't worry, I've still got a very long list of ways that I could kill you."

"Oh? Do you have experience with killing people?"

"Admittedly, from movie scenes. Would those really work?" He asked, setting his mug down on the wavy desk. Of course it was from experience, but he wouldn't tell her that now, would he?

"Depends on the method, I'm sure." Maria finished off the food. "Well, thanks for the food. Now, I've been informed that there's a research laboratory here, so that's where I'm off to. As soon as I figure out transportation to City Beryl-3."

"Hey I've got to have at least 3 more cups of kaje." He replied, taking another drink.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Could you spare a fourth for me?"

"Sure. Kaje maker is in the kitchen."

"Very kind of you." Maria returned in a few minutes with three mugs of kaje. She set two of them down on the desk. "Here. Chug them. It'll speed things up."

"Kaje is not to be drank speedily." He declared. It was like chocolate, it must be savored. Also, he was just stalling to annoy her.

"Oh yeah? Who says?"

"I say so." He scoffed, then cleared his throat and stood as tall as he could, holding his head up in as much of an arrogant poet's stance as he could muster.

"kaje, oh kaje

it must be truly savored

respect the caffeine"

"Really. A kaje poem. Are you kaje-dictator supreme now? Do you set the standards for drinking kaje?" Maria sipped some kaje.

"Yes, I do. If you haven't noticed, my face was on that box. And if you get bored or hyper just go around the block." He replied, giving her an eyeroll before going into his living room.

"Didn't know being paid to advertise kaje gave you authority over all kaje," she called as he left.

"Now you know, Miss Maria." He called back. He continued to drink his kaje, and stare outside. After a few minutes, he noticed it was utterly silent. "Maria?"

~◇~

Thirty minutes later, Ilias was strolling up to a jail cell with 2 guards, holding a cup of kaje. He had looked away for one second and she had gone off by herself, which wasn't too concerning since she'd most likely end up in jail for going somewhere she shouldn't. She was just getting herself in prison earlier than he'd like.

Maria was sitting in said jail cell, staring at the citrine walls and humming. She noticed Ilias and raised her eyebrows. "Oh? Come to gloat? Sip some kaje while staring at your poor second cousin twice removed who accidentally broke some obscure law and is now rotting in jail?"

He stopped in front of the cell, just a foot away from the bars. He then took a sip of his kaje, and waited a second. He didn't have time to listen to someone trying to guilt-trip him. "Save it."

She narrowed her eyes at him and his cup of kaje, looking as if she was scheming something. Cups of kaje weren't usually good materials to break out of jail unless you were loaded with enough caffeine to give a unicorn a heart attack.

"So, exactly what did you do for the one minute that I looked away?" He took another sip.

She leaned back. "Nothing much. Just crashed a wedding." She waved her arms around. "I simply walked into a fancy building and talked to a klalick, asking for directions. How was I supposed to know he was supposed to officiate the wedding and I was 'illegally interfering with an official religious ceremony'? The klalick had cool clothes though, like opaque liquid."

"It's a religious thing that they decided in the asteric plane. Weddings must be absolutely private, for it is a ceremony between the couple and Darkness." Again, he took a sip.

Maria rolled her eyes. "Then they should've used a better lock on the door. I hardly touched the rusty old thing and it fell apart."

"You sure it wasn't just because you picked it rather than using a key?" He sipped his kaje.

She glanced away and didn't deign to reply. He thought so.

"That's why I told you that you have to wait for me." He took another sip.

She huffed. "Well, looks like I'll be doing nothing but waiting for a while. And if you take another sip, I'll-"

He took another sip while grinning mischievously.

Maria gritted her teeth. "That's it. Please, leave. Your kaje-sipping is irritating me. Seriously, how long does it take you to drink one singular cup of kaje?"

He stood there for a second. Then took another sip, and waited for a second, nodding. "Well, I was here to bail you out, but if you'd like I'll gladly leave you in a dank, miserable cell."

He smiled and started to turn to walk away. She stared at him a moment. "You're joking. There's no way you were gonna bail me out."

"Now, why wouldn't I bail out my twice removed second cousin?" He replied loftily.

That shut Maria up for a second. He started walking backwards, slowly. Very slowly. He didn't have all day to do this. He knew where his target was and he'd have to hit with or without her as an alibi. Maria raised an eyebrow suspiciously, then said, "...Well, far be it from your dear second cousin twice removed to insult you and your kaje-drinking habits when you can bail her out of jail. Do me a favor and wipe the last two minutes from your memory."

He smacked himself on the forehead, and walked back grinning. "As you wish. Now let's go, shall we?"

"Yes, let us." It almost- almost sounded like lettuce.

A guard unlocked her cell, and Maria walked out. She gathered up her items, then looked around for Ilias. Ilias was waiting for her at the end of the hall, sipping his kaje. Maria joined him. "So, where would you like to go while you finish the rest of your kaje? Note my patience and lack of commentary on your slowness at drinking kaje- wait. Whoops. I did it again. Another memory wipe, please."

"Not this time." He replied, opening the door.

"Alright, alright. Smacking your forehead can't be good for your brain cells anyways." Maria exited the building. "So, why did you really bail me out?"

"Because it's bad for my image. Really, how do you think the public will view the fact that someone I brought to the asteric plane got arrested for breaking into a wedding? People like to make assumptions, therefore assassination attempt will come up. Also did you really have to leave by going out the window rather than taking the door? If people hear about that they'll definitely scream assassin, and that would completely and utterly destroy me." He replied, looking forward.

"Woah woah woah. First off, how did you jump from wedding to assassin? Secondly, I bet the public would react with empathy towards you and hate towards me. You're the one whose face is on kaje containers, after all. They'd go all, 'Oh, poor Ilias Ravioli! He couldn't have known that awful Camille Iya was a lawbreaker. We must protect our precious celebrity!'" Maria made a face. "Yeah, so, that reason doesn't add up. Also, windows are more fun. Being a bit odd doesn't automatically make one an assassin."

"Your theory is even more outlandish. Trust me, they'll just be looking for a way to make me go from famous to infamous." He replied, adding in some bitterness to his tone. "Besides, who else is going to break into a wedding that belongs to a ruling family that totally isn't heavy duty in protection?"

"I wouldn't call a simple Iron-X lock heavy duty, but the point about making celebrities infamous is fair enough. The media does love its crash and burn stories."

They walked along the sidewalk. A few others were walking as well, but most people out and about were in cars or inside buildings. "Well. I think there's more that you're not saying, but until you stab me in the back, I'll go along with it." She was silent for a moment, then said, "Thanks, by the way. For bailing me out."

He just shrugged. "Like I said, I like not being thrown into a highway full of moving cars by the public."

"Yeah. And I like not having my pride hurt, so I'll refrain from getting into more sticky situations that require you to step in. Probably." They turned a corner. Ilias threw his cup away, and continued walking.

Eventually, Maria asked, "Surely you're not just walking in circles. Would it be too much trouble to share where we're going?"

"It's a surprise." He emphasized the syllables in 'surprise' and grinned. He was going to give her what she told him she wanted, and hopefully disappear in that time too.

"A surprise. Lovely. I hate surprises, unless they're guaranteed to be positive ones, which they usually aren't."

"Oh, this is going to be absolutely terrible. You're going to die." He agreed.

Maria looked at him skeptically. "I'm not a fan of dying." Across the street, a street performer flicked a sapphire into the air and created a glittering illusion of a flock of birds. Likely a minor member of a ruling family, allowed access to the asteric plane but lacking the wealth or prestige of the more pure-blooded members. Ilias walked over to a building, and opened the door and held it open for her to walk in.

"Doesn't look particularly deadly so far, unless those chandeliers actually detach from the ceiling and shoot spikes or something." Maria walked in. "Also, next time, don't hold the door. If we're going somewhere unknown, you can go first."

"Well, pretty much anything can happen here." He replied, going to the front desk and signed a few papers. He then returned with two lanyards, and handed one to Maria.

"Fancy." Maria looked at the name on the lanyard after she put it on, probably noticing that it said Maria instead of Camille Iya. She rolled her eyes. "What now?"

"You wanted to see the labs, yes? Well we're going on a tour."

Maria gasped. "No way." She looked around again. The lobby of the building was fairly generic, but there were spielanxes walking back and forth, holding tablets and discussing properties of crystals. Maria looked like she was barely restraining herself from bouncing up to the chandeliers and whooping in excitement as a scientist guide joined them.

"Yes way. I'd like to get you out of my hair." He snorted. Their guide opened another door, and waved them on to follow. Ilias strode on.

Maria tapped her fingers on her lanyard as she followed them, barely containing a grin. After a few steps, Maria turned to the guide. "Hi! My name's Camille. It says Maria on the badge because my lovely second cousin twice removed here calls me by my middle name... Anyways, what field of research do you specialize in?"

"Astericrystallography," she replied. Maria perked up and started peppering the scientist with questions on the properties of crystals on the asteric plane versus the physical plane. The scientist looked delighted to ramble on about her research, and they became so engrossed in their conversation that the tour didn't start until half an hour later. During that time Ilias got himself another cup of kaje.

The scientist, whose name was Dr. Goldencracker, took them to a few labs, where researchers were experimenting on quartz, lapis lazuli, mica, and other crystals, as well as various metals. Maria jotted down notes in a little notebook, eyeing the labs keenly.

A lot of explosive stuff. He didn't enjoy going to places like this. Who knew what could go off at any given moment? They were about to go downstairs and grab some food at the cafe on the first floor when a sudden shockwave threw them across the room.

The glass of the lab across from them shattered. A scientist screamed. The sound of destruction crashed against their ears like a boulder.

The wires snaking around the floor started to bend as the floor cracked, and the structure started to fail. Ilias ran to get away from the edge but he didn't react quickly enough. The floor took him down with it.