When I was born
I started to sing
I was sticks and strings as well
and there was a melody I knew by heart
Now I am old
and I still sing
I'm still the same sticks and strings
The melody hasn't changed
But now I hold your memories
Your interest might fade
and belong to another
but I resonated with your soul once
and that connection will never fade
I was born to touch your feelings
to sway your emotions
Every strum to please your ears
Every pluck to vibrate your soul
Every thump to make your foot tap
Do you remember,
when you flew on your own for the first time?
How about when,
when you picked up that instrument to learn to play part of me?
No matter the amount of recreations
I am the one who belongs to your soul
I was born to touch your feelings
as I am right now with you
in mourning our creator
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Awe, Jazz! I really loved this poem so much!! I love this:
I love how you can take us through time, telling us how you still sing and play the same melody that you did when you were younger, but you have grown to have memories inside of your brain and heart too. Being born to sway someone's emotions and touch how they feel is a very beautiful way of describing this. I like the simple but gorgeous language you use, describing the sticks and strings.
Personally I would remove the 'How about when' from this part, because I think the individual question below is sufficient of this phrase.
And I loved this ending:
It is so beautiful. This could be interpreted so many ways, lovers, friends, siblings, strangers, children, and so many more. But the love and longing and connection and eternal bond is still the same- so lovely!!! I enjoyed this poem of yours a lot and I hope to see more soon.
Your friend,
Ellie
Hi, I'm here to leave a quick review.
Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely love this. It feels authentic and beautiful; a realistic expression of love.
The overall comparison of this love to music is lovely.
"Every strum to please your ears
Every pluck to vibrate your soul
Every thump to make your foot tap"
This part is touches my heart, as it shows the lengths which one goes to for one they love through language relatable a musician or music-lover.
This is beautiful. Please keep writing!
Hello! Thanks for sharing this work. The sentiment it expresses is lovely. I really like the concept of being the music that reaches a person's heart. I feel like this poem is also meant to convey a special, deeper connection between two particular people more than just one person's general effect on multiple individuals.
The way it's divided up into stanzas makes it look structured and easier to read. I noticed there is some inconsistency in the length of stanzas and lines, though. Maybe this is intentional, since it appears each stanza alternates between four and five lines in length. Toward the end, though, some individual lines are a lot longer than their counterparts in earlier stanzas. This isn't a like a huge crime or anything, but just something that stuck out to me. However, the important part is that you convey what you want to say. The varying length of lines is also more acceptable since you don't follow a rhyme scheme or very rigid rhythm/meter.
Well, that's all for this review. Keep up the good work!
Hi names 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!
First Impression: well i guess from the title it's a poem that's really supposed to much us feel something whether it be sad or happy or something i'm looking forward to see what this brings.
This is a beautiful start and I feel like it's almost like its from an instruments point of view of how it's been used so many times and now it's getting older.
I love this it sounds like a guitar that has been used for so many years but now it's old and it's been put away and replaced by a newer one.
I almost feel like the instrument is alive and has a voice that needs to be heard, but while it is being unused it cannot speak or say a thing to the one that used to play it's many wonderful melodies.
Overall this was a wonderful poem and it did get me to feel something for sure, in fact it made me sad about any instrument that i've used ever in my life that i've had to get rid of because it's old and can't be used anymore like it used to.
anyway that's it from me
hope you have a great dawn/dusk/midnight
See Ya
Thank you! I love the meaning that you took from it!
Wow!.... It touched my heart. I have never heard such a heartwarming poem before. (although i dont read many poems). BUT nonetheless i love yours.
Thank you very much!