Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Fanfiction


supernatural is

by Jaybird


supernatural is

walking over autumn leaves in forgotten forests
in search of the monsters
underneath suburban beds.
just the wilderness, two brothers
and a notebook messy with the
notes of the one who came before.

aliases and disguises
handpicked from an old wooden box.
the tools of the trade
were given by the father to the eldest son
in place of the mother
he would never have.

a broken family
that always runs back
to their roots in
the face of danger
because family will always
come before lovers and promises
of a safe, perfect life.

and an old sturdy car
driving down an abandoned highway,
wind whipping in through open windows
as music blares through worn speakers –
carrying two wayward sons
towards a new adventure.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
12 Reviews


Points: 957
Reviews: 12

Donate
Thu Nov 14, 2019 3:05 pm
View Likes
Softballgirl333 wrote a review...



Hello Jaybird!

Jaybird wrote: walking over autumn leaves in forgotten forests
in search of the monsters
underneath suburban beds.
just the wilderness, two brothers
and a notebook messy with the
notes of the one who came before.


As I have watched many episodes of Supernatural, I particularly enjoy this opening stanza. One thing I would recommend overall would be involving some sort of capitalization, but that's a stylistic preference thing, which I am unsure of what you were aiming for.

I love the message and the interpretation of the series in your second stanza, but I do have one question; How far into the show are we talking about here? And do you think they ever really left their roots to begin with?

Lastly, I love the incorporation you used of "wayward sons" as that was very creative.

Suggestions
The only thing I really suggest here would be in order to make your poem flow a bit more would be the capitalization.

Overall
Ultimately, this poem is really nice and it flows well, and I would love to see some more poems or even stories written about Supernatural in your further work.

Happy Writing,
SBG




User avatar
150 Reviews


Points: 12425
Reviews: 150

Donate
Sun Nov 10, 2019 12:59 am
View Likes
KatjaDawn wrote a review...



Hey Jaybird! Katja here to review your poem, "supernatural is". As with all of my reviews please feel free to disregard any and all comments or suggestions I make if you find them to be unhelpful. With that being said, onto the review~

Overall Thoughts

First of all, I LOVE supernatural and I still can't believe there's no more seasons coming. So, I was instantly drawn to your poem when I realized it would be about the show :D

Overall I feel your poem is well written and utilized the source material very well. You took the most important parts of the show and turned it into a well-constructed, but not forced, poem. The imagery each line conveys is amazing and of course I am somewhat biased, given I am a fan of the show, but I sincerely feel this poem is beautifully done.

Your poem really emphasizes the bond and loyalty the brothers share and briefly touches on their story. I particularly love narrative-type poetry so I always enjoy a poem that is able to tell a story without coming off as unnatural and forced. Also, all too often fan-fiction stories and poetry comes off as very immature and overall does the source injustice- but your piece is the opposite. Very well done! :)

My favorite part of your poem was:

because family will always
come before lovers and promises
of a safe, perfect life.


Nothing could better explain the bond these two brother share, than these lines.

Suggestions

The only thing I can really suggest is perhaps use capitals since you use proper punctuation- but I am assuming this was a style choice so that's more of my personal opinion than anything.

Summary

I love your poem quite a bit- it's rich with imagery and flows very well. You very easily tell us the story of the Winchester brothers and do so in a beautiful poem. My only suggestion is perhaps using capitals alongside the punctuation, however there is nothing wrong with this as a style choice, nor your poem as a whole from what I can see. Well-done :)

I hope my review was helpful!

Keep Writing,

~Katja




User avatar


Points: 227
Reviews: 1

Donate
Fri Oct 18, 2019 2:48 am
View Likes
Prophecy7 says...



I've said it once and I'll say it again, I hate poetry. I really do, but this was SOOOOO good! Supernatural is one of my favorite shows, and you conveyed it perfectly! This was really good!




User avatar
48 Reviews


Points: 91
Reviews: 48

Donate
Sun Oct 06, 2019 3:12 pm
View Likes
Ishan212 wrote a review...



profile/Magestorrow
Hi I am Ishan and I'm here to review your poem supernatural is . So here we go:
first of all let me tell you that this day five years back a fourteen year old me, joined this fantastic website and I'm really glad that I did that.
Talking about your poem, it was the title that attracted me, "Supernatural is", anything but, it does sound interesting. Also, after reading the promo, I discovered that this poem is about the series with the same name. Honestly speaking, i haven't watched it yet, but will do so soon, especially after reading your poem.

Speaking of your rhyme scheme, I didn't find it consistent, especially after
"walking over autumn leaves in forgotten forests
in search of the monsters".
However, I also see a similar rhyme later in the poem.
I''ve no idea about the context of the following lines, but am pretty sure these have a deep meaning as these are so beautifully written.
"a broken family
that always runs back
to their roots in
the face of danger
because family will always
come before lovers and promises
of a safe, perfect life."
Your poem, if nothing, paints a mental picture and that is what writing is all about. Expressing of our ideas and thoughts to the other person, with the help of carefully woven sentences using words, letters and alphabets.

Really Enjoyed Reading your poem.
Never stop writing!!!
Ishan212




Jaybird says...


Thanks for your review! The lines you quoted are a reference to the Winchesters - the main characters - and their devotion to one another. Even though there's always some conflict between them, they eventually team up again to fight against the threat of the episode/season.



User avatar
162 Reviews


Points: 4265
Reviews: 162

Donate
Sat Oct 05, 2019 11:32 pm
View Likes
FireSpyGirl says...



Hey Magestorrow!
I really like this! It's simply, with great imagery and it's put together really, really well. I also like the underlying tone of a deeper meaning, of sadness and darkness. When I read this, it just rolls off my tongue very easily. I love the rhythm and how easy it is for me to see, feel and hear everything! Keep up the amazing work!




Jaybird says...


Thanks for your comment! I'm glad you love the rhythm, and I'm glad I did a good job with the imagery.




cron
“Writing fiction is the act of weaving a series of lies to arrive at a greater truth.”
— Khalid Hosseini, Author