the perfect student

This piece hits close to home for me. In previous grades, I would refuse to hang out with friends if I had an essay due the next week, or even next two weeks. I would cry and cry, but I would still work until my pen ran out of ink or computer died. I've tried to get back to spending time with classmates, but once you "abandon" them, you can't really go back to hanging out with them. Now, onto the poem. I was super well written and I really enjoyed it. You were able to put all you needed into three paragraphs, which (I guess) is very hard to do. The only thing that bothered me was the capitalization. I know you probably did that on purpose, but it's sort of a pet-peeve of mine when things aren't capitalized. Otherwise, the poem was fantastic. Keep on writing!

I'm honestly wayyyy too late to this poem, but I couldn't help leaving a review here. The best works of literature are the ones you can relate to -- this is one of them. I definitely see myself in her (as someone who has sacrificed many friendships for the sake of seeing a row of A's on a report card). As previous reviewers have said, the style of this poem is straightforward and simplistic, so it's easy to understand. This is just how I interpreted it, but I saw the first line in the last stanza as symbolic of her own internal breaking point; the literal break of the graphite in her pencil opens up a gate that lets out a torrent of emotions she has been bottling in up to that point. (No pun intended.)

TL;DR: I really don't have much criticism to give! The only thing I noticed to be a little off would be the second line in the third stanza; it's a bit out of place, because it's not entirely clear what she has lost. It might fit in better as the last line in that stanza after "leaving her friendship necklace to be forgotten." Anyways, this was amazing! I absolutely adore the way you write poetry.

This is fab!! This is extra fab! I can totally relate to this girl.

Hello, Alex here for a review.
Wow.
First, I am very very late to this poem, but I still wanted to say a few things about it.
I like the simplicity of it and it's very straightforward. I can relate very much to the girl in the story since I myself am an overachiever and a perfectionist. The moment she realizes she is missing out on things because of her work, the moment she realizes what she just lost, is very relatable for me.
The literal 'breaking point' was really well done, I'm not sure if that play-on-words was an intentional thing, but it's great.
I can say from personal experience it is accurate and it cuts deep. That's a good thing.

I have nothing really negative to say, I'm not the best a poetry, so I'm not the best one to review this, but there were those few things I just really wanted to say.
Overall, great job!
-Alex

can't believe this was written so long ago, but, when i was younger i used to think about how this subject (studying>friends) would never apply to me because i've always known that academic excellence isn't the definition of life, but as i am getting older i can see how yes academic excellence may not be the definition of life, but it makes up a huge part of it. and sadly sometimes it has to become a priority in order for us to achieve something in life. love this and miss the times when it didnt apply to me <3

So, I'm going to come right out and say: I may not be able to do this poem justice with a review. It was really good, but I just got back into reviewing.

That said, I'll try my best.
The last line is a little awkward. Maybe you should change "knew" to "had known"?

That's the only problem I see; otherwise, I really liked this poem. I can relate to it in a heartbreaking way...

Very relatable poem! In school everyone is pressured whether it’s socially or academic wise. Luckily, we eventually finish, but sometimes it feels like it is never ending. I feel like it could have been longer. It only feels the tip of the iceberg, in my opinion. For example, the poem could show her everyday stress or an outside force influencing the speaker. However, that is just my little nit-pick and you should never write more than you think is necessary. Especially, someone as talented as you!

This poem is very relatable and easy to understand for students. What are the * for? If it's for the break in thought then you could start a new stanza. You could tell us what she misses about her childhood freedom. If she has nothing but test dates in her head then what made her think about her childhood? You could add more imagery or tell us more about what she is thinking.

This is my first review am following the guidelines please don't laugh again its just my first.

Basically a girl is sitting in her room doing her homework on Friday while most children do homework on Sunday or Saturday and take Friday just to hang or chill to unwind from the week She is ignoring her friend and her friendship necklace saying that she chooses her work over her friend she proceeds to bury these emotions by going back to work and as the pencil breaks her frustrations poor out relating to the sensory overload which basically means the slightest noise sets you off and when the pencil broke her inner frustrations broke and wished she knew how lucky she was so she could live it twice as good.

The author's response to the poem is one starting and ending with frustration she bottled up her feelings for so long she snapped finally from sensory overload also the subject has to be her frustration as it is the occurring theme in the poem.

I don't believe she compared anything as her line about her childhood was more of a flashback.

The poem doesn't really rhyme as the author is probably trying to be more detailed with her experience which can be hard when you try to rhyme your poem lines.

I don't believe any techniques were used.

This poem was really good because it did not use much symbolism which is good when you are trying to describe a experience and relate to the reader so instead of leaving them in question on what it means your being open with them and that can be better when you are trying to relate I believe it was very appropriate.

I think the purpose of this poem was to try and express what a child feels when they do homework I believe between when her friend called and when she looked at the necklace in the 3rd paragraph was good foreshadow for her sensory overload which I feel a lot to the poem really drives it home when it comes to getting across to the reader.

On a personal note I like the poem and I relate to it very well.

I feel it can be related by students all over the world.The poem's beauty is in its simplicity much like 'Less is more.' Will be really be looking forward for poems from you.And don't write the next poems keeping the readers likes in mind and just let your feelings flow ,like in this one, as it is what makes a poem beautiful.

hi. this is kman134. i'm here to review.

This is very relatable because i'm the same. when i study, i become a shut in. i would ignore the people around me. even let my friends fade away as i dig my face into a book. i would study day and night, reading textbooks and writing my notes down until my eyes turn blood-shot red. it would feel like a prison, forever being punished by studying until i die. sometimes, i miss my childhood.

Anyways, i like this poem. it's like a reflection to everything that's wrong with me. i hope you write some more.

Hey Mage,

First Impressions: So, my first thought was that this is not a very poetic poem, mostly because there's not really a lot of word play or significant things happening between your elements of prose here. But after reading it several times I grasped onto the nature of what your purpose was, and it worked.

Positives: I have nothing to say about the style, format or wording of this poem, because, as I said above, there's actually not much to it. But, what this piece has going for it is that you gave it the perfect title, and that changed it for me.

The irony of the poem is, of course, that she looks back at what she had, realizes her "mistake" in choosing this path, and wishes she could return to times when she was actually happy. I agree with Persistence that this applies to more than just the student's agenda, because it speaks of life. We all do that, meaning, we look to the future, sign up for a race that we end up not wanting to run, and then we're stuck in the middle of it hating life.

The beauty of your poem is that the title has a sarcastic, satirical feeling to it, because I can sense the narrator warning the rest of us that perhaps our personal desires or dreams will not turn out the way that we had hoped they would. Essentially, it's not all fun and games.

In light of this fact, most of the other potential issues that I would have with this are sort of white washed, because there's something deeper than just words going on here.

Negatives:

she's alone in her room

and her fingers sore from writing

I feel like this poem's pretty relatable, but not just to students. A lot of people have to choose between hanging out with friends and studying or working on their ambitions and dreams and whatnot. And sometimes you can lose friends because of it, and sometimes it feels like no matter what you do you'll always have something to regret, whether it's hanging out with friends more and having fun, or working harder to have a better life in the long run.

I like the poem, btw.