Published June 22, 2011
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140,947 Literary Works • 673,778 Reviews
I like this. Kind of creepy, but good. Who knew those little kid fairy tales could be so scary. I don't know if you plan on making this a novel but if you are writing more you might want to shorten the chapters a little bit. I also notice a few typo,
I think you meant *shoe*
Well thats about it. Please write more soon, I'm dying to see what happens next. ~Dragongirl
Wow, that is quite the story. Though it isn't all that short. I would have maybe put it into a short chapter book? Just giving you an idea.
There are a few errors, read over your work to find them. Also you switched from past and present tense a few times.
I liked the story line. Keep writing!