Young Writers Society

Heello hamza... here is Ilham reviewing your work p
so get ready !!
ummmm,,, first of all I liked your work, the way you describe mirrors and the words used in descriptions,,, the entire writing is good... I like it very much and telling you to keep the good work up ) ^^
here is my favorite piece or pieces of your story...

"It hadn’t even lied in front of threatening force of the witch in the eminent fairytale of the beautiful snow-white. No matter how you treat it, it is always as amiable as possible. It can be big and it can be small. It grows with you. It smiles when you smile. It cries when you cry. It has a wide and varied range of employments. It is used in reflecting telescopes"

I would even update my status on facebook with this line "It hadn’t even lied in front of threatening force of the witch in the eminent fairytale of the beautiful snow-white. No matter how you treat it, it is always as amiable as possible. It can be big and it can be small. It grows with you. It smiles when you smile. It cries when you cry. It has a wide and varied range of employments. It is used in reflecting telescopes"
I will put your name of course... have a nice time
Thank you

I think this essay, does a good job sticking to one subject: mirrors. And it's something that people don't really think about alot, but as pointed out really rely on in our daily lives! You use really great word choice, every sentence has interesting words. The only change I would really make would be to change the order of the sentences a little grouping the ones about how men and women, girls and boys use mirrow and then put in the other uses (telescopes etc.) and then the details about how there are different sizes and types of mirrors. That's only my suggestion though, and it might need to be formatted the way you have it so the sentences link together I guess.

Altogether it's a very interesting idea about how mirrors never lie, and can always be trusted to be truthful. I like the originality of the piece, and the nice word choice also makes it interesting to read.

Great job Hamza!

~Alliyah~

Hey, Hamza, June here,

I'm not entirely sure if this was meant to be a strictly humorous piece or an examination of a tool we rely on in our daily lives. Because it's in humor, I feel delicate about tearing it apart, but the other side of that token is because it's in humor, I feel like I should point out my qualms with it, but I'll keep it brief.

1. Where are you going with this? Your original tone seems set out to inform, but I want to think that your purpose is to amuse your audience. The piece maintains an objective view on the mirror throughout the piece that neither arrives at a solid purpose or amuses your audience.

2. Avoid generalizations. You start the piece off with "almost everyone is familiar with", which is a good introduction if you're starting a comedy showcase. But here, your view, like I said above, stays mainly objective and moves from just being a mirror to being a telescope and on and on which brings me to my next point.

3. Create and stick to a specific focus. Are you focused on the mirror as a versatile object that can be used in telescopes, computers, etc, or is it the role it plays in our vanity that you want to humorize? You tell us at the start that we're all familiar with mirrors, and you conclude with telling us that they play a quintessential role in our lives. Your intro should intrigue us and tell us something we don't know, like, the average human will spend 5 whole days of their life looking at themselves in a mirror (I made that up, don't quote that, haha), and end with something equally intriguing. Know where you want to take this, and take it there, because as it is, I'm not quite certain what to make of this.

Best of luck,

June

Hi Hamza!

I think this essay is great and so true. We have mirrors everywhere and the do play a very important role in our lives. I liked the fact to you even add the witch of Snow White in here, it's gives you a proof that even on fantasy worlds mirrors are needed.
This gives you the idea of talking of a companion rather than an object.

I thought that if you would scratch a little more (your obviously genius creativity) you would achieve to make it EXTRA interesting. Good work!

And onward!

Hiya! This topic is quite different and you've done a good job with it:)

Okay here's my review:

I liked how you've described the mirror as a companion, but I feel you could have elaborated more.
I mean, you've given it a personality, why not add to it and make it look all too real?

You've done a good job representing the use of mirrors in a scientific point of view. But int he literary point of view? Not so much.
There are a lot of things that could be said in the literary point of view. You could have personified the mirror, make it an object that also has feelings Of course, these are just my ideas

You've done a fantastic job otherwise. It was very refreshing to read.

The mirror never lies

Quite true if I may say, a mirror never lies.

Hey Hamza!

The subject of a mirror is something that you can play around with quite a bit. You've taken into account a lot of perspectives regarding the use of a mirror but you've only just scraped through the surface. It's just the tip of this huge ice-burg of thoughts and emotions you could have expressed instead.

You could have been a bit more descriptive and used your creative license with this. I liked how you went to say that a mirror never lies. Perhaps use that in a sense where it's more than just the outward appearance. You could also say that people define themselves from what they see in the mirror and either resent it or pump their ego with it.

I like the way you've made the mirror have a sort of companionship with its holder whenever the user utilizes it. You could have also delved into the fact of how people can gauge how they change in the mirror like a girl seeing gray hairs or a man finding his bald spots. Sort of make it like a double-edged sword where the person in front of the mirror either gains something good or bad.

This seems like one of those generic articles I would find in someone's school homework. And even then, I would probably have to give it an A-. An A+ is what you would get if you could have perhaps made this a little more poetic and involve different aspects about a mirror; literally and metaphorically. You can be sure however, that you can only improve from here on out and churn out even better works. So keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza

So here's a short review of this article by gauravkundu32

This article is awesome to say the least. You've described about the mirror in every way possible which quite fascinates me. As a beginner I could not find any grammatical mistake. You've added elements of humor which is nice and appreciable. No punctuation error . Sorry but I do not have more words to speak right now and with time I am pretty sure you can write great piece of prose as your describing skills is praiseworthy.
I hope to see more works from you in future and keep up the good work.

keep writing

gauravkundu32

This was definitely more interesting to read than I thought when I first figured out it was an article about mirrors:) I enjoyed it and it wasn't boring and fairly well written! I'll love to read more of what you write too!

Wow... I didn't know something so big could be written about mirrors. I hadn't realized their importance. The part 'The boys of present era are no different from such princesses'. It was quite funny! You could write a lot more and about so many things like this. At first when I started reading I thought this was going to be a serious article because you tressure mirrors or something but it turns out I was wrong. It was entertaining. Something you can find in magazines. And you read a lot so it shows. I bet you can write stories if you wanted, although stories are different from articles but still, you have that potential. I really liked it. Keep me updated when you post something new. (but make sure it's interesting like this one before posting =P)

Oh my gosh, there are no words to describe my love for this! You have parts that are serious and parts that are funny. Great job!