The Coven

Okay....aside from the fact that this was incredibly eerie, well done! I didn't see any obvious errors, so that's a good sign. And I agree with MysteryMe...this is very Halloween appropriate. There certainly is some good imagery in here and I like that. It builds a picture without explaining it all, this helps the imagination fill in the gaps and draw it's own conclusions.

If there was one thing you needed to improve on it would be to add a stanza between the second and third stanza's. It just seems a little strange that you would go from bloating stomachs to summoning ghosts... if you get my meaning...

And that's all I've got. Keep up the good work!

Be prepared, because I'm a little critical. I mean no harm, but it sounds really cliche and fixated on the normal horror/suspense stories. It's cute and short, but a nice, extensive, dramatically diverse piece with a fixation on the true essence of horror is really the attention-grabber. Along the lines of traditional poetry, it has a nice rhythmic pattern, but seems a tad bit forced, to put honestly. It just needs more creepiness and not the casual style of rats, snails, and puppy dog tails. I, personally, like to drown in mixture of sorrow, fear, and suspense when indulging in a witch's tale.

In hindsight, it's nice, short, and sleek for someone who doesn't want to play with horror too much. Keep working on this, I'd like to read your next pieces!

I loved reading this! It's creepy and yet I can so understand how this was a huge step for you back in your childhood. Creative writing teacher, huh? She must've been good because this was a very fun read! I like how the sentences are all in fragments - it has this artistic appeal. Reading this brought back memories of writing with my teacher too. I think there are these few figures in life that you just can't forget no matter what. But I'm rambling, aren't I now? Anywhoo, I don't think you should edit this any soon. Even though by the time we've reached the end, it does feel kind of incomplete ( like you wanted to say more but couldn't) but I love it anyway because you can feel the memories that still live on behind it! So preserve it. I sound weird, I know, but I've found plenty of old poems myself in my folders that I look at and smile, but can never turn into something better. I read this to my younger brother ( He's three) and he said it was "scawy."

So yeah, thanks for sharing this! It really made me smile, and laugh, and I could feel the creepiness sliding through me in places!

Cheers,
~Pompadour

Haha, I actually love this! Very creepy.... reminds me of Halloween