Drone Strike Dave- Prologue

Hey! Forever here with a short review!

As a prologue, it is rather a very intriguing one. The concept of the storyteller finding a story to tell in a fantasied way was a very new one to me, I quite enjoyed reading it.

Well, I do wonder about what purpose the storyteller is actually going to serve in the story. Like from what I understood, the storyteller is going to narrate the story, anything else? I wonder about it. We will see it very soon though. He doesn't seem to be very happy with his immortality or rather a bit too bored with it. Everything seems very normal to him, nothing very out of commonplace. Ah, I feel pity for him! One thing I would like to know about is the storyteller himself. Is he the only one of his kind? Or are there other ones? Also, a bit about his species, only if it exists though. If I am not wrong, it has its existence and is actually larger than the mankind. The use of the word "short" when describing humankind made me think so.

We indeed have a good storyteller here who likes to write about all the real incidents of different species and about the planets. If we talk specifically of this story though, it seems like here he is going to be more of a historian than a story teller. Or maybe story teller of history genre. If you talk about the story itself, I think it is going to be on some sort of slavery. A lot was not talked about that but the inclusion of a lot of company names made me think that. People generally tend not to struggle and invent a lot of names unless and until they are required and necessary Also, not very important but it's better not to use the name 'Disney' as the name of a company.

So as it seems, this Storyteller is going to write about a period of time which is not at all a very good one. It kind of sounds torturous. Ah, I would very much like to know bits about his emotions and what he feels about this time. Does he feel the pain? Or is he emotionless about it? Anyway, the capitalizations were very interesting. I noticed two capitalization. First, the Storyteller and second, the Pond. The reason behind capitalizing the latter seems to be a bit clearer but I was left thinking about the former. Hm... I guess it was done to portray the fact that he is a very special and significant person. I would like a bit of clarification on that. And about the Pond, I do have some idea about it. It seems to be medium through which everything can be seen. Perhaps but what about the dark and clear sections of the Pond? Good and evil things? Or known and unknown things?

Now onto some specifications:

Some of these humans were very interesting people; at least, they had more personality than some of the planets.

First of all, the word 'people' actually applies to human beings only. So, it's better to substitute 'people' with 'creatures' or something better. I am not sure what the portion after semi colon is supposed to mean. Did you want to mean that the human beings have better personalities than the other species of Earth? Then planets is going to become planet.

Very interesting, the Storyteller said to himself. This was certainly a story worth writing.

If he said loudly, then the dialogue is to be written within quotes and if he didn't really speak and told himself in his mind, it has to be italicized.

What an opportunity.

Exclamation mark required.

I will get to the first chapter soon. This definitely seems to be a very interesting one!

Keep Writing!!

~Forever

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

The Storyteller walked along the shores of the Pond of History, looking for something interesting to write about. He was an immortal being, bestowed with all the power the universe could give, and his purpose was to write and create stories. His stories weren't the average stories read in English classes- no, these were the stories that the planets and stars told one another as they danced in the heavens. This was the magnitude and brilliance of his stories.

And lately the Storyteller had taken a fancy to this small species who called themselves "humankind". Some of these humans were very interesting people; at least, they had more personality than some of the planets.

But their history, the mostly murky Pond that he was now gazing over, wasn't nearly as intriguing as the people themselves. All the events that they considered awe-inspiring were commonplace to eternal beings such as himself .

Hmm, this is an interesting start here. It seems we're talking to some sort of immortal narrator of sorts here...and its a really fun premise to work with here. The one and only nitpick that I'm seeing here in this intro is the reference to a classroom when it seems humanity is not a species that this one knows too well at this point. Sure there could be classrooms for immortals...but somehow at least for me, the mention of that kind of takes away from the otherwise immortal vibes we're getting here.

He walked slowly along the Pond, searching for something out of place, but everything was still murky and indistinct. Some parts of the Pond were clear and others were nearly black. And in one part, in one of the darkest, most polluted portions of the Pond, there was one small fleck of light. Actual light was coming from the Pond! That very rarely happened, if ever!

He was especially surprised because the light floated in one of the darkest parts of the water, when corporations bought out governments and every job served to further the power of the company. Some companies such as Chick-fil-A, Disney, Mom and Pop Shop, IKEA, and Megacorporation Co. had enormous amounts of power and influence, while other companies struggled to tread water. It was common for people to be controlled through fire, flame, and financial slavery, and nowhere were the natural rights of people protected. Why, in this dystopia of a world, was there a light?

Oooh, well this light is proving to be interesting. Its a little vague at the moment what this character is seeing in this light, but there's plenty of explanation there that we know it means that something important is happening and that coupled with the premise I'm so far seeing here is at the moment making for a pretty solid opening here.

As he was accustomed to doing in the past, he reached over the Pond and lightly tapped the surface of the water, stirring the human events in that era. Instead of rippling outward from his touch, the water moved in a loop, like a whirlpool in the form of an infinity sign.

Very interesting, the Storyteller said to himself. This was certainly a story worth writing.

A story which, by his touch, he now had a part in. Something he had never experienced before. He smiled widely. What an opportunity.

Without hesitation, he jumped into the Pond of History, creating nothing so much as a splash.

Hmm, well that's a lovely way to end this prologue here. We get the sense of something unique happening, which if it is indeed happening to a being such as the Storyteller must mean it is truly something exception and well, the entry there into history itself makes for a nice dramatic end to things here and as readers we now find ourselves really wanting to know what happened next here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry