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Chapter 1- A New Fairytale

by Ilium417


He collapsed on his bed, exhausted from his day. With a heavy sigh, he unhooked the scabbard from his belt and threw it across the room. He took his luxurious fur cloak from his shoulders and tossed it on the floor. He was done.

It was hard being Prince Charming.

In every fairytale, he saved the princesses from terrors untold. He battled dragons, wizards, nature itself for the power of true love. He was the ultimate ruler, kind and just, filled with love and mercy. His wisdom knew no bounds, and he was second to none in his strength. He cared for the common man whilst having the bearing of a deity. Everything was perfect in his life: completely understanding parents, beautiful and kind girls that love him unselfishly, and riches on glorious riches.

He hated it all.

He didn’t show it. He was a fairytale. He couldn’t show his pain, or the story would be ruined. His amazing life, his perfect persona, would be wrecked and unredeemable. And that could not happen, no matter how much he wanted it. The storybook must continue.

The truth was, it was hard being a fairytale.

It’s hard to know that you are being written about. That legends will be preserved for millenia, that your name will be the one taught to the children of nations untold. That each and every maiden looks to you for saving, that every father seeks to find you among the billions for their daughter to love. That every mother looks at her son and hopes that they will be like you.

It’s hard to think of all the broken hearts that read about you and wonder where you are hiding. To realize that they will never be as good as you, the perfect person with the perfect life. To picture some child in a decrepit home, with nothing but a tattered doll to their name, read about your riches and palaces made of marble. To see them think about your parents as they wonder where their mother is after seven years.

It’s hard being a fairytale and knowing your life is a lie and everything else is a reality.

He rolled over on his fluffy expansive bed. How could he live? His life only made other’s worse. What’s the point of a fairytale if the tales only reveal the darkness of reality?

He propped up on one elbow and looked out the ornate window by his bed. His kingly gaze swept across his prosperous kingdom. Beautiful houses and bountiful farmland filled his view. His people bustled in the forum, taking part in the glorious economy he and his father had built for the nation. It was truly an inspiring sight.

In the very corner of the land, almost unseen by the Prince, was land that was scorched. The Prince had known of that piece of land for a long time, ever since he had saved his first princess. Long before he was born, dragons had ravaged that land and the land beyond. Everyone except the most daring had left in search of something more favorable- and of course, they found it. Everyone who left found gorgeous housing, delightful food, and an overall healthy and happy life. The only reason the dragons stayed there was so knights could make a name by killing one.

Wait.

Prince Charming sat up rigidly in his bed. Why are dragons in fairy tales?

The whole world was perfect. Except for the dragons. He once asked his father why they didn’t lead an army to eradicate the dragons from their kingdom.

The storybook must continue, was his only reply.

So the dragons remained, for the maidens to get taken by and the knights and kings to slay.

And suddenly, he found his quest.

Prince Charming hurried and grabbed his scabbard from his floor and ran out the room. He stormed the servant’s quarters and, after some pretty awkward conversation, borrowed some of his squire’s clothes and donned them, attaching his sheath to the belt around his waist. He then took to the stables and led his horse to the castle walls. As he hopped on top of his steed, his father came running out of the castle, his robes flowing behind him softly in the gentle breeze.

“Son!” he cried “What are you doing?” He hastily followed his son to the castle gate.

“I’m going on a journey, Father,” he said without looking back. His father couldn’t see his face.

“No, son, you can’t,” the King said. “You must stay. Who will rescue the princess? Who will save the kingdom?”

“Someone else can do those things,” the Prince clipped.

“Only you can do those things, Charming. The storybook must continue.”

Prince Charming turned on his father and showed his face. The King was taken aback to find thick tears rolling down his son’s hard, determined eyes. They locked gazes in a silent battle of ideals. When the Prince spoke again, his voice was louder, fuller, more melodious and momentous than when he was living a fake life.

“Yes, Father. The storybook must continue. But the storybook is meaningless without a story worth reading. And our stories, our fairytales… what point is there? Do we inspire? Do we elevate? Does our existence as timeless legends matter when it only drags people down? If that is the sole purpose of my life, then the storybook should burn.

He turned from the King to survey the land in front of him. And, in the far off, the land of dragons. The land of darkness, of evil, of poverty and destruction.

“But the storybook must live. It must continue. The storybook is a collection of every breath and every dream that reality has ever had, and it’s existence is vital. But us, our stories, called fairy tales by reality, cannot be this anymore.” He gestured with his hand at the glorious nation they had built. “Tales of senseless perfection benefit no one. Those tales are coming to an end.”

“What are you saying, Prince Charming?” the King inquired anxiously.

“I am saying,” the Prince said almost in a whisper, “that I am making a new fairytale.”

He continued, louder now, before his aged father could protest. “Instead of inflicting people with visions of a land of endless unwarranted light, I am going into the darkness. I am going into the land of dragons. That land, they are familiar with. My fairytale, if I succeed, will shed light through the darkness. I will show that it is possible. Through my fairytale, I will show that reality can be better. That the light can chase away the darkness and that the fearsome dragons of reality can be slain.”

He began to trot out of the walls, his father trudging silently behind.

Prince Charming looked down at his father one last time, and a tender smile came to his face. “Fear not, Father. The storybook will continue. As long as there is life, the storybook will remain. As long as there is life, there will be love, joy, laughter, and kindness. It is time that the storybook demonstrate how that can be reality.”

Prince Charming left his father and country and passed the threshold of the walls, stepping into the dark land of dragons.

Prince Charming’s journey across reality had begun. 


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Thu Apr 15, 2021 6:52 pm
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BEASTtheHUN wrote a review...



Interesting, I find this very intriguing. I really like the last sentence. It has a nice hook to it. I may be being nit-picky, but this seems like more of a prologue, short and to the point. I like the flow, just some parts I might take out a word, but again, that's just me. The dialogue is nice. Again, very nice. I liked the story and keep up the good work. Until next time!




Ilium417 says...


Thanks for the review! :D



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Thu Apr 15, 2021 6:32 pm
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MellyBourne wrote a review...



Wow, this was some great stuff you've written Ilium417. I love the idea of a self-aware fairytale, I think it's a great concept, one that I believe leaves a lot of room for interesting stories. You gave your main hero an emotional goal, and made the story driven by the characters and not the other way around, which I believe is a great way to go. Keep it up and I think you'll have a great story. There's just one thing I would recommend you change. In this chapter you established the prince as a character who is tired of being this perfect classic storybook prince hero, that is a terrific idea, but you did that mostly by just writting out internal monologues of the protagonist. You told us he is tired with his life, but didn't really show it through his actions. I heard the number one rule of storytelling is to show and not tell, it mostly applies to movies but in my opinion it works in books just as well. Instead of just telling us that the prince is tired with his life you could show it to us, by for example giving us a short segment of the story where he does typical prince stuff and is clearly and very obviously not impressed by it. Once again, I enjoyed this a lot, keep up the great work.




Ilium417 says...


Bro, thanks for the review, that really helps! I never thought of that before. Thanks so much!



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Sat Apr 10, 2021 3:34 pm
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PaigeFantasy says...



hi, I like this! it just makes me look at the fairytale in a completely different way :)
though, I do agree with another review, it should have a part two




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Fri Apr 09, 2021 6:02 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Ilium417,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

This was a very engaging story that made me think on a lot of points. You've created an endearing title character who is going through some sort of existential crisis. But instead of making the story seem depressed and melancholy, you set it in the fairy tale world. I don't think I'll ever see the prince who saves the fair maiden from the dragon with the same eyes again. :D

You have created very lively characters in the form of the father and the prince, and even though we don't read much of their thoughts, we can clearly see through the explanations how thoughtful the prince is. You've really created a very sympathetic person who is grappling with questions about existence.

His life only made others worse. What's the point of a fairytale if the tales only reveal the darkness of reality?


You've included some very strong sentences that can be used as quotes. This one in particular I found very significant, as it can be interpreted in some ways if you substitute some terms like "fairytale". If you were to replace it with "me", speaking for Prince Charming, the whole thing seems much more sinister than this statement already is.

Wait.
Prince Charming sat up rigidly in his bed.


Before I even read on, I thought to myself that the prince was no longer lying down, but standing up. :D
You've done this kind of literary formatting (I'll call it that because I can't think of another term.) very well. After many of your paragraphs where you explain something in more detail, there are these short one-liners that can probably be attributed to the prince. You've really succeeded and I like that.

The storybook is a collection of every breath and every dream that reality has ever had, and it's existence is vital.


Another very beautiful sentence that you can use as a quote. Although it has something sinister about it, I actually find it very encouraging.


Your writing style is very well and I liked reading the short story. It made me think a lot, where I don't know to what extent you intended to do that. I would equate the story, should it have a deeper meaning, with how strong a person is character-wise and how he shows himself on the outside. Inwardly, he could be just as broken as the prince and yet he wants to carry on, so that he doesn't destroy the hopes of others as well. Because we all live in a kind of reality that resembles a fairy tale.
As I said, very exciting story!

Mailice.




Ilium417 says...


Thanks for the review! I intended it to make people think and to look at fairytales in a new light. I'm glad it worked XD



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Fri Apr 09, 2021 9:57 am
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NivedaJames22 wrote a review...



Hey!

First of all, I really liked the title of your story. "A New Fairytale" is apt for this tale. This is kind of random, but I also love your avatar...It looks really cool.

I really liked how you show Prince Charming's internal musings. It sounds really interesting.

I really liked this line:

It was hard being Prince Charming.

I feel like you're setting up the stage for the Prince's adventure against the dragons. Can't wait to read all about it.

Keep writing.




Ilium417 says...


Thanks so much for the review!
(My avatar is my logo that I created one day because I was bored XD Glad ya like it)



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Fri Apr 09, 2021 4:26 am
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dogsrule5 wrote a review...



Hey, Dogsrule5 here for a review!

Overall, I loved the idea of this story! I love the idea of prince charming finding a new life and creating a new fairytale. Although, I would've liked to have seen more. In my opinion I think the story was too short. I like how it was fast paced and easy to read, but I wish there was more to read! I think you could've shown us more about his journey and how he went to defeat the dragons. I feel as if I'm left with so many questions! Did he defeat the dragons or did something terrible happen on his journey and the storybook continues? Did he kill all the dragons? Did he meet others along the way? I feel like we need a second part to tell us about his journey with the dragons, and how he conquered them... If he even managed to conquer them alone... Hmmm... Maybe a part 2?
Again, I absolutely love the idea and love what you have written. It's a great fairytale, I love the different side of things seeing how the prince feels about his life, and how he doesn't like it and looks for a new one! This is a beautiful beautiful piece, and I have no regrets reading!

Anyways, I'm super hoping there's a part 2, and if so, please tag me if you can, I'd love to give it a read! (If there is no part 2 I won't be mad though)

Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs




Ilium417 says...


Ok, I'll tag ya! I made it short and fast paced because the Writer's Club at my school needed it pretty short so we could all read our stories in a thirty-minute conference period at school. But I'll make a part two!
Thanks and Peace and Tacos be with you!



dogsrule5 says...


Ah ok! Well I%u2019m so looking forward to reading part 2! And may tacos be with you as well (and of course, dogs!)



dogsrule5 says...


Okay I have no clue what happened to my last comment but I typed it on my iPad keyboard and I guess it freaked out, but I mean to say..
Well I%u2019m so so looking forward to reading part 2! Again I guess I pressed shift or something on accident I have no clue to be honest!!! :P



Ilium417 says...


I think it's great XD And I just saw your avatar- very nice :D
I think I tagged you already, but I decided to make A New Fairytale a full book!



dogsrule5 says...


Thanks! And OMG I%u2019m so excited I can%u2019t wait to read and yes I did get your tag! :D



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Fri Apr 09, 2021 2:04 am
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hannah0528 wrote a review...



Hello Ilium417! @hannah0528 here for a review. It has been a long time, so I might be a little shaky.

Grows:
I feel as though this short story was a little too short, and it was pretty fast paced. I also feel like why didn't he figure it out before? Because after years of reflection, he wouldn't just then realize that his life was a lie.
Glows:
Oh. My. Goodness. Ilium147, you have created a masterpiece. It was detailed and you did a great job of introducing the characters and setting the scene- nice backstory too! Wow, wow, wow. Is there going to be a part 2? I would very much like that. You really brought all of the fairytales too life- great job!

I hope this was helpful! Keep writing and have a great day! I hope to hear more from you.


Hannah




Ilium417 says...


Oh gosh, thank you XD That was a really helpful review! :D
Peace and Tacos be with you!




cron
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."
— William Shakespeare