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Prologue- A New Fairytale

by Ilium417


The storybook lay unopened and sealed on a lonely pedestal. A pale pillar of light sent from the heavens illuminated it and was circled loosely by yellow ribbons of energy that mirrored the auroras of the poles. A thin layer of dust rested on the dark brown leather. Occasionally bright slivers would shoot from the pages as if a sun was hidden within its pages.

The pedestal was carved from ancient stone and it displayed the weathering it had taken through the years openly. Ample cracks decorated it without decreasing its integrity; although old and damaged, it seemed indestructible to all who saw it. Moss and ivy twisted around it in little green strips and the intricately carved patterns could be seen through them. The pure power of nature seemed to radiate from the pedestal- small flowers and bright green grass flourished around it and bees and butterflies made their home in small trees and bushes which had grown along the cave’s wall.

From the entrance came an old man, wearing an iridescent robe pulled together at the waist by an old-fashioned leather belt. He walked slowly along the stepping stones that formed a path to the historic pedestal, never looking away from the storybook. He approached it and gazed at it lovingly, as though he wanted to reach out and cradle it like a baby. He couldn’t though- old spells came from the light above, protecting the storybook from any threats.

So he was content to just look at the book. He had come every day for the seventy years he had been here, in these caves and tunnels. The entire purpose of his life revolved around this book and he loved it dearly.

Today, he decided that he would sit on the last stepping stone and just stare at the storybook. He marveled at the sunlight filtering through the pages and admired the ancient appeal of its cover. He still loved the magic brilliance that protected the storybook from above. He decided to get up and hold out his hand as close to the beam of light as possible, and laughed as one of the yellow ribbons of energy circled languidly around his hand and tickled him softly.

As he was playing with the magic, the starlight coming from the storybook was staggered by a small flicker of darkness.

He stumbled back in disbelief, and the ribbon of light seemed to dart away from the sudden movement. That has never happened before. Not since the storybook had lived in the cave, and not since the storybook was created. This was entirely new. Darkness had never come from the storybook.

The man examined the book as close and as long as he was able, but there was only the one flash of darkness.

But darkness is always more vast and more deep than the eye can see because the eye is forever closed in the dark.

The man hurried from the cave, determined to protect this book and his home at all costs.

The storybook must continue. 


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17 Reviews


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Thu Apr 15, 2021 10:04 pm
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MellyBourne wrote a review...



There are a few things you need to kick off a story right. Looks to me like you get that. There isn't too much going on here, but it gets the job done. You managed to intrigue the reader, well managed to intrigue me. You gave the upcoming story an interesting start, something crucial to keeping the readers entertained. Reading this I already have read the second chapter, and I can already say that this lifts that content.




Ilium417 says...


Thanks so much for the review!



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Thu Apr 15, 2021 2:42 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Ilium417,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

Your introduction is very visual and one is immediately sucked into these descriptions you have written. It's extremely detailed. I love reading these expansive descriptions and seeing every little feature of a place. You've also managed it so that it doesn't seem too much or too little, but just right.

In general, your writing style is very balanced and strong, it doesn't seem overdone anywhere, but is presented more like the structure of a ritual. I like that the focus is more on the storybook and that you don't find out what exactly is in it or who put it there.
One thing I think you fell a little short of is the description of the old man. You just write that he's old and has been coming here for seventy years, but apart from that, you don't see anything about his appearance. (Does he have white hair, a long beard? Wrinkles, tired eyes, etc...?) I don't know how important he'll be in the story, but you could expand a bit here. :D

Something I couldn't figure out right away is whether the book is open or closed:

He marveled at the sunlight filtering through the pages and admired the ancient appeal of its cover. He still loved the magic brilliance that protected the storybook from above.


Especially here it seems contradictory in my opinion that in the first sentence it is described how the sunlight shines through the pages, and in the next it is described how the old man looks at it from "above", which leads me to the conclusion that it is closed.

Not since the storybook had lived in the cave, and not since the storybook was created.


I find this a very interesting sentence, which, if it was written consciously, gives a very fascinating hint about the storybook; that it has a will of its own. To what extent does it determine the lives of others? Does it control anything or is it just a kind of "deity"?

But darkness is always more vast and more deep than the eye can see because the eye is forever closed in the dark.


Oh, a very philosophical sentence! I like it! :D

You definitely built up a lot of atmosphere with this prologue and made the reader curious how the story will continue. Your descriptions are great and you quickly get the impression that this storybook is something very powerful and sacred that needs to be protected. The fact that the old man runs away and is afraid of this flash of darkness also shows a little of the book's weakness. He believes that this one flash is enough to shake the world, which the book itself cannot stop. Or is there more danger of the darkness enveloping the book and creating chaos?

I'm looking forward to the next chapters, and hope you keep up this kind of storytelling!

Mailice.




Ilium417 says...


Thanks so much for the review, it means a lot! :D
Oh and I'lll make it clearer when I edit it, but the storybook is in fact closed (that's an important part of the story actually XD). You know how small bits of light comes through blinds on windows? I meant like that, small flashes of light that peeked through the pages (the blinds). I didn't know how to say that too eloquently.
Peace and Tacos be with you!





Thanks for the info. Now with your explanation I understand it and it makes more sense to me in the text. :D




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