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by Iamawriter965

My Poem about books, I wrote this a while ago. Enjoy!

Hot steaming tea,

A book in her hand,

A silent plea

To take her to a new land.

Lost in the pages,

A tear rolling down her cheek,

Set free of her cages,

On a winters day bleak.

Black and white ink,

Catching her breath,

Her stomach begins to sink

At the characters death.

A new world's end,

The last page turned,

Her heart on the mend

As she quietly yearned.

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109 Reviews

Points: 11267
Reviews: 109

Mon Aug 26, 2019 8:58 am
silvermoon17 wrote a review...

The first thing I must point out is that, in your poem; you actually have this little intro in the beginning. I know I’ve not been here for such a long time, but out of the 64 poems I’ve reviewed; you are the only one who did that. The structure itself is encouraging, because even though it’s long; the sentences barely go above five words. So yeah. I was hoping that a poem about books would maybe mention a bit of escapism, which I thought I found in: “a silent plea/ to take her to a new land/ lost in the pages/..” there is a certain evolution, a style that gives your poem such rhythm that we can’t just turn away from it. In other way, it is very catchy.
Metaphors, nope
Similes, a hell of a lot: “set free of her cages/..”
imagery: well of course
Personification: ehh I found none, unless the very poem means something else. And books are meant to represent someone. But that’s taking your poem on a next level.
So yeah, mostly you’ve got it all. And it was pretty fun to read really.

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21 Reviews

Points: 19
Reviews: 21

Sat Aug 10, 2019 12:50 pm
Zrillis wrote a review...

Hello there, I will give my best review I can.

So, I really enjoyed this. Its thought out and the rhythm scheme is perfect. Your ideas and theme comes out well and clear. As far as I see you have good grammer spelling and punctuation ( I am not the best judge on this however unless its a blatent mistake)

This poem made me happy in a way because its highly relatable. Keep up the good work and have a nice day!

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26 Reviews

Points: 56
Reviews: 26

Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:09 pm
DariaTheGirlWhoLovesPizza wrote a review...

Hey, I’m here to review this poem!

I’ll start with things I like:
I loved your rhyming scheme, and it flowed pretty well. I also liked that you remembered to use punctuation and showed me some amazing imagery.

If I had any critique for this I’d say is to end the poem a bit better. The ending felt unfinished, like the story wasn’t over yet. Other than that, I’d say work on a more eye catching title.

Critique aside, I enjoyed this poem throughly and u should be proud
Keep writing! The world could use some good authors


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37 Reviews

Points: 300
Reviews: 37

Wed Aug 07, 2019 7:24 pm
demoncat wrote a review...

Hello this is demoncat here to review your adorable poem.

So this poem is so me! That is exactly what I did when I read death note. Like when I finished it. It was quite a touching story. This poem reminded me of that. Along with all the other stories I have read. And it made made me want to read more. It also kinda reminded me of bell from beauty and the beast. This would be so her. My only note here is that I only wished this poem was longer. It was over so fast! I loved this so much! And I hope you continue writing and posting cute poems like this. Also I would like to say on a side note welcome to yws!! I hope you like it here!

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20 Reviews

Points: 38
Reviews: 20

Wed Aug 07, 2019 3:42 pm
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Bhaavya Singh wrote a review...

Hiii ans welcome to YWS!! Your poem is really adorable and every bookworm (like me) can totally relate to it. I really liked the way you described the scene. I could actually see a girl reading a book, sitting in front of me, while I read it. The rhyming scheme seemed a bit weak at some points, but it's ok. As a start, this is fantastic.
My favorite part was the last four lines, which touched my heart-"A new world ends, the last page turned, her heart on the mend As she quietly yearned.
It was amazing. Word choice is great. I liked the fact that you used a wide range of punctuations.
Please keep on writing. I can see a budding poet in you.
I am sure, you will do great in future also.

Thank you! I'm not great at rhyme schemes I know but I tried to make it work as best as I could, it's definitely something I want to improve!

No problem! I too make mistakes many times. English is a bit weird language.

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42 Reviews

Points: 8
Reviews: 42

Wed Aug 07, 2019 7:05 am
seekingthetruth wrote a review...

Hi welcome to YWS I want to start by saying I loved it , I loved the rhyming and I can relate to this becuase reading is what makes me for who I am. it was a bit short but u managed to make the poem stand out more by doing this as a long poem sometimes loses interest in the poem so on this occasion a short poem was a good idea , as personally I cant handle really , really long poems. Grammar and punctuation was excellent and I liked how you did not end every sentence with a full stop , you used a wide range of punctuation which also made the poem fun and easy to read, this was a really good idea about a girl who loves to read bbecuase you are also influencing other young people to read and I belive this is very important becuase we live in a day and age where we are surrounded by exciting new technololgy , while this is important reading spreads such joy some tech cant produce , the joy of adventure and imagination and hooking you to new worlds and characters.

10/10 seeking the truth was here and helped seek the truth

Thank you!

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264 Reviews

Points: 2924
Reviews: 264

Wed Aug 07, 2019 2:45 am
Horisun wrote a review...

Hello! I'm Horisun, and welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here!
I can relate to this poem! I love the rhyming, and the words flow right off the page! I did not see any grammar or spelling mistakes, which is great, and I really think the wording is perfect as it is! I'll defiantly be leaving a like! (Hope this gets to the literary spotlight! :D)
Have a good day or night!
(Sorry this was super short, it's really late, but I wanted to do at least one review today)

Horisun says...

Oh, one other thing, I'm not sure this poem falls under Teen Fiction. Idk, maybe it's just me.

Thank you for your review! I know that it doesn't really fall under teen fiction but I couldn't decide what other genre it would be!

Horisun says...

I was thinking realistic, idk, something under those lines anyway.

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98 Reviews

Points: 782
Reviews: 98

Wed Aug 07, 2019 2:06 am
shieldmaiden wrote a review...

Lovely poem and truly, truly relatable to everyone on this site!!! We wouldn't be here if we didn't love writing and good writing comes from good reading. Excellent job. My guess from your poem is that you read a lot of sad, tragic stories? I bow in admiration. I'm one of those terrible readers who happens to glance at the end of a book to see if it ends happily. If it doesn't I don't usually continue reading. Pathetic right! What are your favorite books? Currently mine are the Hunger Games.

Hi! Thank you for your review! I do read a lot of sad/tragic stories. I'd probably do the same as you and look at the ending however I think it'd ruin the rest of the story as not every great book has a happy ending! My favourite books are "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho and a writing book called "Spilling ink" by Anne Mazer and Helen Potter!

shieldmaiden says...

Ooh, and what are their endings like. Bittersweet, happy, or sad?

Some people file their [tax] returns inside of a dead fish.
— John Oliver