z

Young Writers Society



talking at night

by Hijinks


we both have screams burrowed somewhere in our bones. 

we take the elevator two floors down—

the air smells like snow and tingles like snow but the ground is still uncovered

so we just zip our coats up right to the underbellies of our chins

and rush out. when we were feeling brave earlier we made plans 

to run into the woods, into the pitch, 

where all of our peripheral vision collapses into darkness,

and shriek at the edge of the lake. but now we are scared

and we hear coyotes yodelling 

and we only get to the first tree's shadow before we retreat.

there is still a scream itching at my muscles, creeping up through my throat,

so i pull you away from the buildings 

through the gravel parking lot

past the fire pit

into the field. 

here, the darkness is bearable—

faint light reaches us from the road and washes everything in grey. 

this place looks how loud things sound when you cover your ears.

here, gripping each others' hands, we open our mouths and scream:

raw, cracking, ugly. we tumble into the grass with relief. 

we revel in the silence that fills us up—

there is nothing left that needs saying tonight. 


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34 Reviews


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Thu Feb 22, 2024 10:54 am
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Coffeewriter wrote a review...



Awesome, I love this so much it gives me running-away-from-something-so-fast-that-your-heartbeat-hammers-in-your-chest vibes! The descriptive language used is awesome too maybe you could through a metaphor in there? That would be awesome like if you said:
‘the trees claw at us, almost reaching into our empty souls with their gnarly fingers’
Just a suggestion! Overall, hats off to you!




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105 Reviews


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Thu Feb 22, 2024 8:29 am
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fatherfig says...



i love this and your musical coyotes




Hijinks says...


at the end of the day, all a coyote wants is to be a country singer



fatherfig says...


as they should



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218 Reviews


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Thu Feb 22, 2024 3:38 am
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creaturefeature says...



new hijinks poem just dropped i’m SHOOK




Hijinks says...


gotta keep people on their toes





i%u2019m off my toes rn i%u2019m sitting down



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Thu Feb 22, 2024 2:42 am
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Snoink wrote a review...



Hi Hijinks!

Just a couple of things...

the air smells like snow and tingles like snow but the ground is still uncovered


I cannot express how much I love that line. I know exactly that that smell/feels like and I love how that description is so sensory. There is not enough smells in poetry sometimes!

and we hear coyotes yodelling


....coyotes... yodeling? I am not a huge fan of that verb.

raw, cracking, ugly. we tumble into the grass with relief.


I love how you use the weather and environment to make your poetic voice really ring out. In the beginning, there was this icy, frosty feeling in the poem. Then later it becomes almost nightmarish with the imagery of the barren trees and the smooth lake... but that is too scary so they retreat to the field and I love how by the end after they scream there is almost this tender springtime feeling as they tumble into the grass.

Very well done!




Hijinks says...


thank you for the lovely review! yeah, yodelling is admittedly a questionable verb choice - may need to rework that!



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5 Reviews


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Thu Feb 22, 2024 12:42 am
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RandomLady33 wrote a review...



A real interesting read! I love the visual you create with every line, and the end hits so hard. I think I really like the sense of nostalgia you get reading this, reminds you of kind of like when you're a kid on a snow day. I've no idea if that was your intent, but it was a wonderful feeling nonetheless.

Be proud! Awesome work here.




Hijinks says...


Thank you! I can definitely see how the vibes are reminiscent of being a kid on a snow day :)




For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
— Audrey Hepburn