The Spark of Creation, first chapter redone

//I've improved the first chapter of this story, since i thought it was short and shallow. Please tell if I have improved. Enjoy!//

Deep within the world of lifeless rocks and nothingness, a spark appeared, a spark that won't only ignite it's surrounding but change the course of the universe. A never ending flame bursts life and emotions, spreads across the universe. Giving a meaning to everything that was created before; creates new things that will become one with the old, and merges with it like it was always like that.
From eternal darkness comes light that shines upon all that which was hidden and unexplored. It brings new paths and new ways of doing things. Things will never be the same as they were. Life came to be.
A gift to the universe, for hard work and patience. Though, life could get out of control, if the universe doesn't watch over it, it could go wonder on its own! Young beings don't know their place, they would wonder until they get in trouble and all of the living organisms pass, just because life didn't have anything to hold on to. That was the best thing that could happen, if it didn't get to any obstacle, it could get older and spread all over the universe, devouring everything in its path, and when the whole universe is filled, all the resources will be used and the universe will not be able to sustain life anymore.

That's what happened here, well sort of, I mean, I'm alive, aren’t I? My village is alive, isn't it? I don't know, the old village elder said that. I really don't understand most things he says, he’s not quite good at speaking, or I’m just stupid. He usually sits in front of his big hut door, giving advice to random passers. But, as they say, he really did put order to the village, and rose it up from the chaos left after the wars.

We live in one of the bigger villages, it’s in the desert south of the great passing and north of the Takaln River. That is, they say it’s there, I never really saw any of that. But I hope I soon will.

This was a time of peace and prosperity, compared to the rest of the village’s history: it was burned to the ground a few times, enslaved and demolished, but, we managed to survive and live better than ever before. As its population slowly grew, due to the other smaller villages merging to this one, there was more food and more time for art and enjoying life. More markets started to appear, and everyone, all of a sudden, began to care about their look. There was not only full within the walls but outside as well.

I live at the edge of the inner part of the village, near its eastern gate. It was a nice neighbourhood of small huts. Most of them were occupied by members of my sblinghood, that is, we all came from the same mangian, we call ourselves Kains’ after our father Kain. I’m not really in touch with them. My end of the road was decorated with sculptures and carvings which I made over the past cycles. There were really old ones, as well as my recent work, but I was proud of all of them.

One day, relatively early in the morning I stood at the middle of my hut looking around, trying to figure out what was I searching for. I looked at the entrance and noticed dust coming through the fringes hanging from the top of the entrance. Next to it was a pretty carving on the wall which I made myself. Then I looked at my work table, there were unfinished little figures of ancient vollars, which I was making in my spear time, there were some carving tools too, but I couldn’t figure out why have I returned to my hut at the first place. I looked around more in hope to find the answer. And then, Just when I planned to abandon my efforts, I remembered. Haku! There's a haku game going on in a few days in the village of Lagu and I planned on going there. There will be a team from Flech against one of our teams. Something like this has never happened before, the three distant villages competing in a sport game. This was a really big deal. Even though it is a long road to Lagu, even when using a waner, it’s still worth it. It’s odd how one can forget something so important. I planned to take my friend Halnau to the match as well.
I took a bag and started packing some food and some of my stuff. When I finished packing I went out of my hut and started walking towards Halnau's hut, which was on the other side of the inner part, but more to the middle. Our village, Heka, is really just a big bunch of us mangians in the middle of nowhere. Even though it’s one of the three, Heka, Lagu and Flech, it’s really just an overly populated regular village. There is almost no real soil here so the roads here are made out of sharp rocks, and it’s really uncomfortable to walk on them. The only things good about it are my buildings and statues, although they’re nothing special I’m still very proud of them.

There were a few mangians out in the streets, bargaining, discussing about new buildings and where to put them.

Heka was in an expanding phase, there was a wave of new mangians that came earlier this cycle and every one of them wants a place to live in. Currently we put them in the large huts where about a dozen mangians can fit in, sort of like where I used to live.
I was getting close to Halnau’s hut. When I got there, I went through the entrance. She was drawing something on her workbench. Oh, yeah, I forgot to say that it's a female. I never really understood the male-female sorting. I mean we are a bit different, but what's the purpose of that? Some say that males and females get attached to each other in a weird way, and can't be without each other, but I never saw that happen to anyone. Why would that happen to someone anyway? There are a lot of mysteries about mangians witch I don't understand, like, where do we come from? There are myths about a giant being, called Nebes, who brought us here. But I don't believe in that stuff. I think that our village elder knows more than he tells us. But I believe he has his reasons.

Halnau stood up when she saw me. Her face wore a tired expression; her eyes were red from lack of sleep. She struggled to make a so I could know she’s glad to see me.

- Oh, hello... – she murmured while wiping her face from drools. She obviously fell asleep while working.
- Hey, are you…?-
- Oh, I’m fine, don’t you worry. The village senate is giving me no rest lately. They want me to plan these new gaahku fields in the most unreasonable places. Who gave them permission, they clearly know nothing about this stuff… The water supplies should be coming from the northern gate under the main street because it would destroy the foundations of the older huts on the southwest otherwise, but they said that would look ugly! Can you imagine? And there’s a billion times better spot on the…- Her words became not understandable, she started to mumble, and her face fell down.
- Halnau?-
She bolted up as I said her name she stood straight as she was trying not to look tired.

-Husmw, wha… ah, sorry, got a bit carried away. – She bolted up as I said her name she stood straight as she was trying to not look tired.
- Ok, I guess I should leave you to rest...-
- Wait, wait, wait, why did you come anyway?-

- Ah, I came to remind you about the Haku match.-

- Haku match?! Dear Alsuna, you know for how long have I been waiting for this one! Stay here, I’m going to pack my stuff.-

She jumped and ran into another room. I stood there at the middle, looking around for a while. Her hut was twice as big as mine. She had two rooms, one for work, and one where she sleeps and keeps her stuff. I always wonder how doesn’t she get tired of all that going from one room to another. There was a big table on the left of the entrance, there were some sheets of paper with some drawings and some geometry tools. I took a look at what she was drawing, it was a plan of our village, with some new gaahku fields. On the right were a sitting place and some shelves filled with paper rolls, peculiar rocks and some plants.

I heard some rumbling from the other room. It sounded like an earthquake. Halnau just got in the room jumping on one foot trying to get untangled from a rope that led to the other room. She was wearing some olourfull scarves.
- Erm, What is that for? - I said pointing in the cloth.
- We're going to Lagu right? The centre of culture, we mustn’t embarrass ourselves. So, what do you think? –

The scarves were bright red with wide yellow stripes. They went around the neck with a loop that reached to her stomach and circled around it, to cover her back, and the ends were hanging from her arms. She really looked good, I don’t know if it was because the scarves.
- It looks nice... I'm not really into all that, so, I don't think that my opinion really counts. -
- Come on, don't be like that. That's the point of it, if it looks nice than it’s good. –

She really did her best not to seem tired.

- Well, you would certainly fit in, and it’s not far of my likings, so, I guess it’s fine.-
- So, shall we? -
- To the east gate then! - I exclaimed.

We walked back to my house where I left the stuff I packed earlier. After that we strode along the street that crosses trough the street on which my hut was. And we found ourselves in front of the eastern entrance. It was massive and solid, it seemed as if it was made out of one piece of rock. There were two large blocks connected at the top and the walls stretched from each side. Right next to it was the waner. Its silver covering stood out of the desert floor. There was a faint buzz that could be heard in its surroundings.
I helped Halnau to get on the waner and then I got on it myself. I hooked our stuff at the back, gave it the directions and laid back. It started smoothly and accelerated south, through Heka. We went through the Southern gate and into the open world! Thought there were still a few huts outside of the walls. Their numbers lessened as we kept going.

The plan was to go through Retal and along the main road to Lagu. We would sleep in the small villages along the road.

Although my village wasn't that pretty, the rest of the world was just beautiful: Arhanom temple, Aure forest, Flech Mountains and many more places. Most of them I have never visited, but I have heard stories of them.

I’ve heard that the Arhanom temple is the most wondrous place. Even its location is almost impossible; it stands on a big island in a large almost perfect circle-shaped bay surrounded with high mountains on the south-east of Tekua. It was built by the ancient root mangians, but they’re all dead now, except my village elder, I think he is the last of them. I don’t know anyone who has been to the temple, as far as I know, only the oldest mangians were there. I heard it looks rather impossible, with its large and thick walls on the top of a steep hill. One day, I’m sure I’ll get to there.

Great mountains rose from the west. Their white peaks, lightened by the sun behind us, made us cover our eyes in effort to see anything in front of us. Before we knew it, there was some grass around the road, and trees began showing up.

A little later, when the sun was right above us, we were surrounded by mountains and forest. We haven’t made any pauses so far, so we stopped a little as we were passing the great monolith rock which marked the beginning of the region of Retal. It's a gigantic rock shaped as a perfect rectangle. It’s a big enigma to this day. It certainly isn't natural.

Halnau and I argued about the possibilities about it. Some say it’s Nebes inside , some say it’s a great building, but no one knows.

There was a village here by the name of the whole region, Retal. It was once the centre of the world. The elder meetings still take place there.

The plan was to spend the night here, and continue to Lagu tomorrow. We should be there by three days. There are other paths, like taking a boat down the nearby river that leads right to Lagu, but I’m not keen on boats. They’re so unstable, I don’t know how could anyone consider boats as a legitimate mean of transportation.

As we approached Retal, two huge round pillars seemed to rise up from the ground as we were going over a hill. They were tall and slender, wider at the bottom. They were white with red and blue rings at the top. Long red and blue straps were fluttering on the wind from the peaks. The gate was wide open, and even though it wasn’t used for hundreds of years, it was still maintained and was shining with gold and silver. The walls that went around the village made the whole thing look like a giant white tent of stone; they were wavy with sharp peaks and little pillars on top. The road on which we were going was getting more polished and well maintained as we got closer. Silver birches started to appear all around, and since it was autumn the leaves were yellow as the sun.

I shook Halnau to wake her up when we were going through the gate. She took a long yawn as she was stretching and looking round with amazement. It was easy to tell that no one really lived here because there weren’t any regular huts. There were long white buildings with porches and pillars, and every single one of them had colourful markings along the bottom. Along the both sides of the street were canals with clear water going towards a big fountain that was on a circular square, probably at the centre of the village. Song could be heard at every corner and the sounds of horns and harps. They said that only here is the beauty and the peace of the first ages preserved as it really was. Even though this village isn’t what it was a long time ago, in terms of the population and the overall significance of the village, the elder councils are still taken here.

We weren’t going to sleep there, of course, only to look around and feel nice. Not everywhere can one sit and enjoy the sounds of birds in the trees above, while gazing upon the powerful Flech Mountains. Bright colours were everywhere, flags and straps were decorating the beautiful architecture, fountains and small water canals were making the place seem in motion constantly.

There was no sadness or problems here, there really was no need for them, and everybody was mining their own business and enjoying life.

We left the waner beside the gate and took a stride trough the white streets. We noticed that most of the mangians were in haste, a strange discomfort could be felt coming from everyone. There were groups of mangians whispering something among themselves. There was an oddly big number of those who were leaving the village. I didn’t like to meddle around so I decided to ignore everything and just enjoy.

It took us a short while to get to the big fountain. It was quite tall, and the water that was blowing from the top made it look even taller, there were many side streams around the main pillar that intervened with each other, and when gravity is included it makes an amazing ornament-like form. There were stories and songs written along the circular base, written with colourful letters that looked like ornaments themselves. There was a small patch of trees beyond the fountain so we walked across the square to it. There we sat on the ground and listened to the song which came from a nearby building. I loved the grass, there isn’t any back in Heka. It gives me tingles when I feel it between my fingers and on my feet. All around us were ulmo trees, they made everything look even brighter with their almost-illuminating white flowers. I laid on my back looking at the sky, letting all my worries fly away into the heavens. Joy and happiness rushed through my legs and arms towards my body. I could lie here forever.

Halnau lied beside me looking up as well, but I got the feeling that she wasn’t as excited as I was. She doesn’t share my awe for nature. But I guess she enjoys it at least. We were talking about the time when we planned a trip to Koras, but when we took off, we were caught up by a rain that was so big that it wasn’t seen in the desert for about a hundred years. Big and small streams appeared everywhere and we were forced to get back to Heka. And we never got to koras. To my surprise she really wanted to go, though I think she was more excited by the culture of the region than by the trip itself. It’s like that’s pretty common with us, we have the same goals, but for different reasons, and we make a pretty good team. When either of us has a rather stupid idea, we have each other to hold us back.

Then our conversation suddenly jumped on her assignments back in Heka, how they are still waiting for her when she gets back, and how she would really like never to return just to leave them. But she would never do that, she’s quite responsible to her duties. Unlike me, I have tons of unfinished works waiting for me but who knows if I will get back to them any time soon, old projects bore me and I always like to start new ones.

As we were chatting there, time went by fast, and it quickly started to get dark. The eastern sky was blazing red with elements of yellow and orange, it almost seemed as if the mountains over there were on fire.

That’s when we decided to get back to the waner and find a place to setup a tent. As we were returning through the village, it seemed as it were red, it seemed magical, as it was a whole different place. We got out of the walls and found a place outside of them where there were actually living-huts. We’ve set up a tent beside a birch tree near the road, so we could get up and go fast tomorrow morning. Halnau fell asleep right-away, and she slept like a rock through the whole night.

The sunset was beautiful. The mountains seemed even more glorious when the sun shined upon them from behind. With the last rays of sunlight and a few blow of wind to my face, I laid down and fell asleep excited for the tomorrow’s journey to Lagu and the haku match.

//There will probably be more edits of this chapter till it reaches it's final form. Tell me if some things don't make sense//