12+

waiting for a welcoming

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I held his hands in a clear summer night ten years ago;
I slept in my colorful skin and He, unknowing and sincere,
Crept in my life, slipped in my death, like a promise I told myself.

Can I discern in the mist deep and dense,
The singing of the roses?
They hallow a goddess
Hollowed out at the seams;
From my car window, the fields rustle under the moon. Is there someone waiting for us?

The road rolls down my windowscreen,
Mechanically driving my eyes ever so heavy
To close up- unblooming night lilies.
I am a slip away from chasing my dreams.
Beyond the stars, behind the veil, a lover bides his time...
Can you wait for me, as I contemplated you?


The lighthouses in the saturated sky
Keep me afloat. I breathe in
The drowsiness- intoxicating ocean.
I've been drowned by the night sirens.
I have longed to rest in your arms...
I could call home the nape of your neck
And whisper life down your belly.


I fell in love with a question mark, a passing shadow on a wall.
But this bluriness was a mirror- waves crashed down my throat
When I bit into the apple of who I was and will forever be.
Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
Aislynn
Review

Hi HeartPermits!

I haven't reviewed in a while, but this poem caught my eye!

The imagery here is gorgeous! I love how contemplative it is without being too overbearing. Everything is balanced perfectly! I especially love all of the nature references paired with the celestial imagery. It really makes me think deeper about the poem's meaning, which is always a good sign!

Sometimes, the imagery gets a bit confusing though? I see the idea behind some of the lines, but they don't connect. "But this blurriness was a mirror" was one of the lines that made me feel this way. I love what it means juxtaposed with everything else, but I think the execution wasn't the best!

I also enjoy the musing romance vibes I get! The two different "he" figures confuse me a little, but it adds to the ambivalence. I assume one of them is a romantic interest and the other is God? I'm not sure though! But that's a really interesting dynamic if I am right about it!

Overall, this was stunning! It was absolutely breathtaking!

— Solstice =D

Random avatar
Dipro
Review
Dipro wrote a review · Mon May 29, 2023 5:02 am

This poem ventures into the realm of introspection and evokes a sense of nostalgia. The imagery of holding hands on a clear summer night and the notion of slipping into life and death like a self-made promise carry a certain enchantment. The mist and singing roses add an air of mystique, and the yearning for someone waiting in the moonlit fields stirs curiosity. The lighthouses in the saturated sky create a captivating visual, and the final lines leave a lingering impression of self-discovery.



I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good... then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor - such is my idea of happiness.
— Leo Tolstoy