I call space the comfort I'll never have

Hi there! Your neighborhood Angie here to leave a review
First of all, wow! I love this poem so much! It has such a beautiful aesthetic to it that makes me want to read it over and over. I love the wording, the rhymes, and the stories told in the poem!
First of all,
"My heart, this withering field,
Yielded a cursed bloom,
A beautiful bound trouble and
There it was,
Rooted love."
The very first line hooks the reader in well. As the stanza goes the reader is drawn in, wondering what the narrator is speaking of. The way you rhymed "was" and "love" was clever, and ending the stanza on "Rooted love" both encourages the reader to continue on and closes the stanza perfectly.
The next stanza that stood out to me was,
"Up there, out the chest, space feels
Complete!
The planets, they push, they pull,
Freely dancing!
Gravity purely exists between all,
So why…"
It has such a beautiful sound to it, painting space like it's a ballroom with planets and stars dancing across the sky. I love the metaphor. It describes this pure balance in the sky, something experienced when you escape this "chest".
Finally,
"Time opened the ebony chest and
I, the grey flower,
Eyes closed, back turned,
Had learnt
That orbits were for others.

I stayed in my own chest and
Called it home."
Is such a beautiful but sad ending. The narrator, the flower, seems destined to be alone, trapped in the chest. It's a sad, yet wonderfully written ending.
Overall, I loved the poem! It's beautifully written and paints a sad story. Good job!
Finally,

Hey there, so here's my review!

This poem has a strong emotional impact and vivid imagery that draws the reader in. The metaphor of the withering field and the solitary stalk creates a sense of isolation and loneliness. The contrast between the vastness of space and the weight of gravity on the earth is also a powerful comparison.

Now, here are a few suggestions:

1. The poem could benefit from some restructuring. The opening lines feel a bit jarring and don't quite flow into the rest of the poem. Consider revising or reordering the first few lines to create a smoother transition into the rest of the piece.

2. The use of punctuation could be improved. There are some areas where commas could be added or removed to create a better sense of rhythm and flow.

3. The final stanza feels a bit abrupt and could use some additional development. Consider adding more detail or imagery to bring the poem to a more satisfying conclusion.

Overall, this is a strong piece and, with some room for improvement, it can be even better! Keep writing!

- HB

The format of the verse didn't register, I don't know how to do it, if someone could help !