Ilna - Chapter 3

Ilna was under shock. She couldn't talk, she couldn't move. It wasn't only that her father, the one she had never known and never heard of, had shoved his face right over her's while she was asleep - though that was bad enough on it's own. It was mostly how she had thought that it all was a dream, and then found that her eyes were already open.

However, she quickly recovered from this and, stuttering incomprehensibly, sat up. She scrambled her sleepy body to the far end of her bed, towards her pillow and away from the man.

"So..." Authbert Salisbury said, his smile faltering at this less-than-warm welcome. "Um, well... yeah. You'll - tell me your name?" he hazarded. "See, I don't know it, that's the thing, otherwise I wouldn't ask, but I don't know it because I..." he trailed off there, and seemed to become deeply interested in Ilna's bedside lamp.

"B-because? Why - why were you not - you're my father!" Ilna gasped. "Mrs Dillus says the other children's fathers aren't...gone!"

"Um, yes." the adressed said. He was obviously trying to avoid the conversation. There was no trace of the enthusiasm from a minute ago left on his face.

"Well, why did you not - why weren't you - what happened -"

"My daughter." He sighed, and his features seemed to gain several years from that simple movement. "My daughter." he repeated. "Please - do not hold grudge. I did it because - and this is why I have returned - because you and me, we have... a different future destined to be ours." At this, he seemed to gain courage, and the ghost of a smile crept onto his face. "My daughter!" he exclaimed. "I will show you - I will show everything to you! You will see: there are things, and this is one of them, worth leaving your life behind for! We are incredibly lucky to have been given this chance, and we must use it! My daughter - but - will you tell me your name? Miusa had the honour of the final choice, I believed we had narrowed it down to May, Polly and Susan when I left..." He looked at Ilna expectantly.

But Ilna had had another thought, at the mention of her mother. "Father?" she asked, quietly. "Yes?" he answered, glowing with happiness at being adressed in this way. Ilna continued: "Father... but what about mother?"

Ilna could tell that he sensed all of the meaning in this simple question. Why did you leave her? Why did you leave her, with a baby to care for? Why are you, now that I am older, telling me to leave her too, as you did? Why are you coming to talk to me here, in the dead of the night, instead of talking to her too? And why do you not wish, as you did not ten years ago, to take her with you?

Authbert Salisbury's face sank like a stone in water. "Ah," he said. "Yes. Well." He played with his hands, unwilling to continue. But he did: "She... she wasn't... and isn't - ah - the good type. See, this - opportunity - is made for people... ah... special people. And Miusa... doesn't fulfill the requirements. But that does not matter!" he added hastily. "I am sure that your mother was perfectly well during my abscence, and she will still be when we have left! She is very capable of staying alone. Do not worry about her."

Ilna thought of how her mother had had problems with memory, and this, she realised, was probably since her husband had unceremoniously left her, without explanation. She thought about her mother, so nice, Ilna's closest human being and only known relative until tonight. She thought of her, alone, with a child to raise, and a husband suddenly gone. Then, she thought of leaving her, and following her father to who-knows-where. The thought was unbearable.

"No." she said firmly. "You horrible person! You left my mother, but I won't! Go - go away!" Then, she screamed: "Mother! Mother!"

Her father's face lost all colour. For the third time, he was disappointed. But it was not like when his smile had faltered, or when his face had fallen; this time, his skin turned white, with a slight greyish tinge. He had clearly been looking forward to this conversation a lot, but it had all gone wrong. As Ilna spoke, the little blood left in his features went away, and as she called for her mother, his face hardened.

"No," he said quietly. "My daughter. You are too young to understand." His face showed grim determination.

Ilna understood what he was going to do a second before he did - her eyes widened, but before she could do anything, her father reached into his pocket and removed a rather small object. Ilna did not see clearly what it was; before her sight could focus onto it, all was black.

***

A few minutes later, Miusa Salisbury was going on a nightly visit to the bathroom when she found a post-it note in her daughter's handwriting, stuck onto the mirror. This was usually how Ilna reminded her mother of things; but the post-it had not been there when Miusa had gone to bed, a few hours ago, and Ilna had already been in bed then. The woman found this strange. Ilna usually put these up in the morning.

Miusa Salisbury had not heard her daughter's screams. She read the note. There, scribled in what was unmistakeably Ilna's scrip, stood:

'Mother,

I have gone to a better future. I am incredibly lucky to have been offered this, and cannot miss my chance. Therefor, I must leave you, but I know that you will understand. Do not call the police. Goodbye forever.

Love

Ilna'

Excepting two words, Miusa Salisbury had already received this message. The last time had been ten years before, as her husband had left her.