Climate Change-The Comedy
By HJYoung
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Sit around the fire,
I’ll tell you a story-
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What’s the story about?
Well you’ll have to find out!
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I’ll tell you a great tale,
Of birds and bees,
And how we humans are breakin' our knees.
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When Santa Claus comes to town,
Humanity will definitely get a sack of coal,
But ironically, that’s what we just found,
Minin’ deep underground, just like a mole.
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We’re buildin’ ourselves up,
Breakin’ the world around us down,
Just like the WWII company of Krupp,
Just to take a simple crown.
For there is no good building without a solid foundation.
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We’re building up high,
We’re building down low,
But all we’re doin’ is putting up a show.
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What are we doing to the world, you ask?
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Well you see,
We’re tearin’ down forests,
And choppin’ down trees,
All to make a little more Febreeze.
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We keep passing the mantle,
From generation to generation,
Never really pausin’ to take the proverbial handle.
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We’re diggin’ up coal,
So we can be whole,
We all think it’s swole,
But in reality,
All we’re doin’ is diggin’ is a real big hole.
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We’re hurtin’ the world,
Not letting it heal,
We’re making it more hot and cold,
And killin’ another baby seal!
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We're changing the world in ways we don't understand,
Poisoning the oceans and murdering some whales,
Yes, indeed, overfishing and climate change go hand in hand,
And we're also causing some unpredictable hails!
While I'm just writing this poem, and drinking smoothie with kale.
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How ironic it is,
That while we can cover the entire planet,
We’re getting stuck by our own great whiz,
And you can’t ever deny it.
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While everyone wears those high heels,
No one is really taking the wheels,
Because no one here really sees,
No one sees the threat of Chuck E. Cheese!
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Oh, how jolly fun and wit,
But alas, it cannot go on,
Cause we may get hit,
By our own hilarious con.
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As I write this glorious prose,
I realize I must bring this poem to a close,
As I need to turn off the backyard hose.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
'Ello there!
I'm not big on talking about climate change with people because I tend to stay out of arguments or conversations that can turn sour faster than others. I've heard joking about climate change is an effective way to talk about it though, so that's interesting.
Now, climate change is not inherently funny. There is a very thin line between what is considered comedic and what isn't; it's best to keep any ideas you might have for a satire poem on the side of the line that isn't just plain nonsense or poorly timed.
This does nothing of importance for the poem; kale does not change what happens to the world because of climate change, and kale is not a funny subject. If you're hinting younger humans do nothing to help the world, that's basically a stereotype most people don't conform to, so that would be once again, something that adds no humor to this poem.
There isn't much data on Febreze's health risks to people and climate, but inhalation of too much of any chemicals is dangerous; could that possibly do something to non-humans? I'm not exactly sure, but it's most likely a possible thing.
Overfishing is bad. Climate change is bad. They are very similar in the idea that we should protect nature instead of trying to hurt it, but they aren't similar enough to go hand in hand as something together. If you consider them that tight-knit, what about pollution, or acidification, or even coral loss?
I'm not familiar with this controversy, but I've researched into it a little; I think they want to create a safe and healthy environment, both in store and outside with the world? I got that from skimming through the Health and Safety Guidelines, but not very sure there.
Nice poem; I liked the idea of it ~
chi
Ty, this was just poking fun at climate change deniers
It%u2019s all for the rhymes and the poem actually making sense.
Hello. ForeverYoung for a review.
You are a real good poet. It was am awesome one. You showed and elaborated how humanity is causing problems to the world and nature. I think you yourself had liked the poem and thus pressed the like button😂
As @Spearmint said, the second paragraph is quite unnecessary. I suggest you to remove it.
Can u pls expound this to me? I am not getting what you meant.
What do you mean by ans here?
Overall, it was a very good poem.
Oh typo lol-humans are breaking their own body by destroying the world.
Ty for the review!
And yes I am shamelessly promoting myself lol
Hi, Spearmint here for a quick review! First off, I liked the message of this poem-- humanity is definitely causing problems for our earth. And the rhyming and tone were fun too; this poem kind of reminded me of Dr. Seuss's The Lorax. Anyways, those were just some thoughts I had! On to some specifics...
I kind of felt like this part might be slightly unnecessary, because the reader isn't really going to ask what the story's about; they'll just read it instead. Although I suppose these lines might help develop the narrator's character a bit, so this change is totally optional. I do think your poem would flow better with this part edited out, though! ^-^
Ohh this part is so true! Each generation of humanity just seems to be like, "Well, the young people can solve it later," when in reality that won't work. So I think it's great that you addressed that here!
Just a super tiny thing, I don't think mantles have handles? I mean, I do get the point about avoiding responsibility, but perhaps something like "Never really gettin' a handle / On the bad situation" would work better. (Sorry, this is not the best example and you'd probably want to use a better word than "bad," but hopefully you get the point. :p) This is really good for a thirty-minute poem though, so these suggestions are just if you want to keep working on improving it, of course!
Okay, another small thing, but to me it seems like the poem would work better if you wrote "seals" instead of "seal." To me, the incorrect grammar is more jarring than the not-quite-perfect rhyme would be. Just my opinion!
Of course, all these suggestions are completely optional and feel free to ignore the ones you didn't think were helpful! Overall I really enjoyed reading this poem and I think you have a lot of potential as a poet-- keep writing! C:
Ty for the review!
The handle is like the handle of a car-we are only just accelerating.
Ok changed the poem.