A Treasure That Is Greater Than Gold
I wrote this two years ago when I was 11.
Somewhere over in the land of dreams and imaginations,
There exists The Treasure That Is Greater Than Gold.
It sits, waiting for a worthy one,
That will understand it’s meaning.
That will understand it’s infinite value,
For a treasure not found has no true power,
In a world of never-ending cycles.
***
Somewhere under there,
In the endless mines and caves and tunnels of confusion and conflict,
It sits in the care of a omnipotent, unbeatable, impossible guardian,
For those ignorant and closed-minded and unenlightened people,
Who need the treasure, but never seek it.
***
Somewhere in there,
The treasure awaits.
It promises infinite glory and fame,
For those who do not want it.
It is infinitely powerful,
And I’m sure,
It’s more powerful than anything humanity has ever seen before,
Yet it is already inside every single person in the world.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
I like the poem. I normally don't review poems but I liked this one so I had to say something. Others may disagree, but this line "It sits in the care of a omnipotent, unbeatable, impossible guardian," I think you could take away the word impossible, but again since I am no poetry expert you could take it or leave it. I just feel like your kind of overdoing it with the word impossible, but again I am no poetry expert. The flow is nice, and the title caught my eye. Other than that one minor quibble it was very nice. Until next time!
This poem is undoubtedly a treasure greater than gold.
Hey there, Anne for a review.
First of all, this poem is a synonym of b-e-a-utiful!
I like the fact that throughout the poem, you haven't been specific about what the treasure is- it gives the reader the power to imagine anything. For me, it felt like it was talking about happiness and/or knowledge, another person can come up with something else.
The first stanza, there were so many amazing lines. My favorite being- ' for a treasure not found has no true power'. So true! Considering happiness, no one can be truly permanently happy unless they find happiness within their heart and soul.
I also like the usage of For in every stanza, I don't know why but it seems to make the poem more lucid.
The second stanza was full of imagery. One can imagine the scene that you describe and it definitely gives a lot of joy with such an interesting scenario in front of the eyes of your mind.
The third stanza was ineffable. A perfect ending for a perfect poem. Although I didn't get one thing
I fail to recognise which virtue is talked about here. That gives infinite glory to those who do not want it while still being a treasure. If you could throw some light and guide me out of this ignorant darkness.
All in all, the poem is very well written and I want to read more of your work. I wish you'd post more poetry
Keep writing because you're so good at it
Ty for the review! I will try to make more poetry. That part of the text means that people who overly greed for knowledge and happiness, and step on others on the way, will never achieve it.
Too much is never good.
Tysm for the explanation. It makes a lot more sense now
Np!
Had me going then flipped my brain with the last sentence. Gg
I really like the concept
ty!
You see the way i did 'over there', 'under there', and 'in there'? That was purposeful-and I thought it was kinda smart when i was 11 LOL.
Oh I didn%u2019t notice at first lol
Hello HJYoung,
First off wow. That was beautiful and the sheer fact you wrote it at eleven blows my mind.
My favorite part by far.
It’s more powerful than anything humanity has ever seen before,
Yet it is already inside every single person in the world.
That line just gives off hope in a time of darkness where greed it seems rules. I also felt very connected to that line too.
Over all wow. That was amazingly enticing and I enjoyed it. Which is weird, because I am not big on poetry, but you really do have a way with words.
Good work keep it up. Have a good day.
Woah the praise... ty for the review, im flattered that you think so.
Good morning/afternoon/whatever time of day it is
I'm here for a short review!
So I would first like to come off and say great good on this.
Seriously I enjoyed reading this.
I loved when you said
"In the endless mines and caves and tunnels of confusion and conflict
it sits in the care of an omnipotent, unbeatable, impossible guardian"
"Somewhere in there"
I also loved that part.
This was a really great poem, I enjoyed reading this as I hope everyone else does. I hope you keep on writing and have a wonderful day!
ty for the review