For some reason, two of this chapter is listed, but this isn't the right link. The other one is the actual chapter. Until I figure out how to get this off the novel list, just click the one above this one. Sorry for the difficulty!
- SOCKS
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139,622 Literary Works • 672,635 Reviews
Thanks so much, Taylor!
I appreciate all the kind words and little nitpicks, haha. Every bit of feedback helps! Ill definitely let you know when I post the next chapter, and I look forward to hearing from you again 
- SOCKS
Oh, I just love this word. Bravo!
You could either just take out the 'all' and leave the 'around', or say 'the man frantically looked around, scanning the square for the thief.' or something along those lines.
'but over all the people coming and going' flows much better... you have a random 'he' stuck in there, too!
take out comma
huh?
What is a grunt? Clarify
I think this should be a comma
Did you mean to say, "frightened him to the point of cold feet all the same." ?
O_o This is well written and extremely grotesque. Nice.
Perhaps reword this. Between the ; and the 'at once', it doesn't really make much sense.
Today he would have been
I had to read this three times before I understood it. Reword!
had
ahopeI just had to say that this sentance is vivid, wonderfully written, and amazing!
Take out both commas
I'm guessing you meant growing?
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Whoah, SOCKS! I love this! Your vivid way of storytelling is stellar! Keep me posted!
Taylor