Prologue: The Rebellion begins
Society,
When did we ever decide to let someone else take over our lives? When did we let technology get to the point we couldn’t live without it. Why was it too late to realize that it was too late, and the technology was too integrated? Too smart for our good.
We live in a world where people are powerless. No one can do anything to stop this stupid reign we have above our head. We have been powerless for over three hundred years. It is time to make a change. It is time to take a stand against the evil robotics that claimed our planet as their own. A planet we called home for millions of years. A planet that we created them on. Aren't we all growing tired of being slaves for ‘humanoid’ creatures.
Our elders tell us that the world never used to be like this. Sure we had wars and other crap happening but humans made those decisions.
There was a single hope when this all started. The hope that four people would resurface.
But I believe from the words of a popular television show before this came down, “but when the world needed [him] the most… he vanished…” They disappeared without a trace- nothing to track them down with.
We cannot remain sitting on our butts waiting for someone to come and save us. We need to find a way to save ourselves. If anyone wants to stand in my way, I will find a way to overcome and overpower all. I have a mission set in my mind and I am dead set on seeing it through.
Now it is not up to me to inform you of what you actually need to do. I am just informing you on a choice you can make. Anyone interested in joining me- decide and then come find me. I am not a very had man to follow. I am just one of several that have strange colored eyes.
I hope that by reading this you feel something stirring inside of you. Mothers and Fathers, do you really want your child to be raised in a world like this? Children do not want to live in a world where they have to be careful walking home from work or school. They should not have to live in fear of being taken for the Confederation’s leaders' personal slaves.
What will you do? Will you let innocent children live in constant fear that they will be taken or that Mommy or Daddy may not actually make it home after work? Or that a child will be left by themselves because the Confederation killed everyone they called family and no one is willing to take them in! Will you continue to stand by and watch this happen?
I refuse to stand around and watch this happen anymore. I am taking a stand and I do not care if I am the only one who is there to make it. I want to make a change, even if I die in the process. Take your side- either you rebel or you stick with those Robots who control everything in your life from birth till death.
I was an ordinary man just going with the flow,
But after today I am
The founder of a new group.
I am the Resistance,
And all are welcome to join.
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140,098 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
Thank you! I have never actually read Maximum Ride, so I wouldn't know. And this book is basically just combining two ideas of mine I've had.
Well Maximum Ride is a book where the main character, Max, is told to save the world from technology and stop global warming.
Timmy here!
This will be a short review as there's not much to be said. I love the idea you're pulling from this, and I can really see how much more developed it is since the last prologue you wrote some months ago. I see new things you've brought into it, as well as the old ideas more personal and stronger than before. I love itttt. The plot is really coming along. c:
And while that is awesome, it's also the problem with this piece. You're giving us far, far too much in this prologue/first bit, and it's swamping the reader with unnecessary information. A prologue should be nothing more than a quick introduction to the characters, and just the smallest piece of your plot - nothing more. Actually, in my opinion, the majority of prologues should go away - never have existed, because they serve little to no purpose in reality. There is only one true reason to have a prologue, and that would be simply because there's something that happened a long while before the rest of the book that must be told before the reader begins the actual book. So you might say the part above falls into that category, right? Perhaps it does... buuut, at the same time, I have an argument for that logic, too.
Most prologues, even if they're set apart from the rest of the book in time, could have been placed in the book in other ways - either by a dream, a character explaining the story, etc.... There are quite a few ways you can fit information like that into the rest of the book so a prologue would be unnecessary.
Am I against prologues? Not entirely - I've read a few I enjoyed, where they just fit. But for the most part, I would have no trouble doing away with them. Especially in a case like this, where it seems you're giving us a ton of information, introducing us to a world in a very disconnected way (although I already love your main character!), and it's just too much. If you're going to do a prologue, make it something from the character's past - and also make it short and sweet, without revealing very much information. c:
Loving the plot and your character so far! You've come a long ways in your writing since I read your work last, and I'm excited for the first chapter now. This seems very familiar to what I read before, but with more depth to it - a bigger, better plot. I'm curious and excited, so I'll be at the next chapter soon. :3
~Darth Timmyjake
Very good. I really liked this. This was a good way to get the reader on edge, like they have to know what happens next. So a few things below.
First things first, a quick question... Can I join the resistance?
Now for the review.
At one point in the story you wrote...
[quoteI am not a had man to follow/quote]
By this did you mean I am not a very hard man to follow? Because I was a little confused.
This was very, very good. So far what I got was you in a world where machines rule over all the humans and us (the humans) are nothing but slaves to them.
I will mention I saw a few spelling errors, but no major things. So great work. I will read chapter 1 when I get the chance!
Keep up the good writing,
Love,
Dogs <3
Oh, oops! That was supposed to be
Okay, that's alright. By the way how do you make quote boxes again. I knew once and now I forget. Thanks.
[-Quote][/-Quote]
Without the dashes, of course!
Thanks GreenTulip!
If you haven't read it yet, Chapter 1 is posted!
Yeah, I will totally read when I get the chance.
-Dogs <3
I have good and bad stuff to say about this prologue. I'll start with the good:
First of all, can I join the Resistance? :3
So far I like what you have, and as a prologue this isn't bad at all. Your words show me a world where machines rule over humans, and we are nothing but slaves. I see a picture in my brain of a small group of people going on an adventure to find a way to give life back to humanity. The imagery is good, and the descriptions are too. I will definitely read part 1 when I have the time, and I like what you have so far. Oh the suspense is killing me! XD
But here is the bad: You left a lot to the imagination, and to be honest sometimes I lose interest when that happens. But this is a personal thing, not something that is necessarily bad for everyone. Also, I saw several spelling mistakes, and although there weren't many, they were there.
All in all, good work. I'll be happy to read part 1 when it comes out.
Good story, I have no idea what to say, but in order to make this a review, I will give you some advice!
The writing is all perfect expect one mistake in which man was written like m an, but that's just a typo.
Keep writing this story down, can's wait for chapter 1!
Mr Muddy Pig here, Mr muddy pig says a review, Mr muddy pigs says bye!
bye and keep writing with your great mind!
~MrMuddyPig!
Thank you so much! It took a few days to write this around work and school! I am so glad that you liked it!
This is an interesting way to start off the book. It's a good way to get the reader thinking about what is going on and it gives a little insight as to what is going on in the character's mind. There were a few sentences that were a bit messed up and I can be nit-picky when it comes to grammar and spelling stuff.
"We live in a world that people are..." that should be where. It helps the sentence to flow better in the story.
"our planet for their own.." for should be as.
"I am growing tired of being slaves..." If you use I in the beginning of the sentence make it personal through the whole sentence.
"that was all by human decisions..." - but humans made those decisions
"the hope of four people..." - of should be that.
Don't emphasize the word what, if anything you should emphasize the word need.
"anyone interesting in joining..." - interesting- interested
Confederation's leaders - are there multiple leaders or just one? I wasn't sure how to correct this because I don't know but either way leaders should be possessive.
"Let innocent child..." - either let an innocent child or let innocent children
"stand and watch..." - stand by and watch
"stick those Robots..." - stick with those Robots...
I felt that this letter to society was a good way to engage people into your story and I hope these things that I wrote are helpful to you. I can't wait to read more.
Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for your review! This letter is actually before the whole story begins. It it to give some insight without throwing it into people's faces. And thank you, I'll try to get those fixed as soon as I can.