Two Hundred and Some Odd Years: December 24th, 1830; New York City

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Benjamin Gibbs

December 24th, 1830

New York City, New York, USA

"Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real." -Cormac McCarthy

Benjamin looked over the stony expanse of New York City from a perch on a rooftop. It was sunset and the light painted the sky with pink, red, orange, and purple like ink in water. The cool air and the small flurries of snowflakes blowing from the rooftops bit at his cheeks and stung like little bees attacking his face. Ben didn't care, he liked it up on the rooftops. It gave him a chance to be alone and think. The place where he was sitting was on the edge of a building, the ground littered with unused flowerpots and on the opposite edge were several garden boxes. The dead remains of a rooftop garden still resided with dirt and dead leaves. A gust of wind blew through the area, taking some leaves and snow with it and over the side of the building. Ben followed it with his gaze. The bustle that was the streets on Christmas Eve flowed along like a river, crashing through ravines of brick and glass. The distant buzz of conversation on the street was so faint yet so distinct to Ben, alone on the rooftop, far, far away from any sort of human interaction.

He kneeled down and took some dirt out of a broken flowerpot that was right next to him, cupping it gently in his hands. He took a breath, held up his hands, and blew into them gently. It started to glow a soft golden hue and a green shoot blossomed from the dirt. It grew until there was a bud of a flower, then continued to develop until Ben was holding a purple hyacinth. He looked at it and sighed. Flowers, he thought, The only language that can I can be honest with. He looked at the hyacinth again. The language of flowers was one he was fluent in and he knew what this one meant.

Purple hyacinth... sorrow, sadness. Definitely not something one normally feels on Christmas Eve. Ben looked back over the streets, the wholesome families enjoying each other's company. Something he wished he could have experienced. He heard the snow crunch behind him and he turned to see his twin brothers, Edison and Lawry, standing, holding parcels wrapped in brown gift paper.

"Merry Christmas Eve Benny!" trilled Edison, holding out his parcel, "Lars and I went tah the main street and got some stuff for Christmas!" Ben smiled and cast the hyacinth off the side of the building and trotted over to his brothers' sides. The three of them were almost identical; the same sandy blond hair, fair skin, slender physique, and freckles. The only difference between them was their eyes. Ben had soft brown ones like the fertile soil of the west, Edison had brightly colored blue ones like the free sky, and Lawry had cold grey ones like the steel of the factories. They all sat down in the snow and Edison shoved his parcel at Ben.

"Open it!" he said excitedly, "I picked it out meself!" Ben laughed and took the brown-papered object in his hands. He unwrapped the parcel, the brown paper crinkling under his fingers. As soon as the wrapping was off, he was holding a brand new hat. He stared at it in amazement. He'd always wanted a new hat to fight off the cold nights in the Boys House. 

"It's amazing!" Ben exclaimed, "Thank you Edison!"  Lawry tapped Ben on the knee and nudged him with his parcel. 

"What is it Lawry?" asked Ben, "You have something?" Lawry smiled and held out a slightly smaller parcel. Ben took it and revealed it to be a new scarf.

"Oh, it's grand!" Ben said, smiling and holding it up, "It's just like the one Mama bought us our last Christmas together! Mine got taken by the wind, but you both still have yours right?" Lawry nodded and Edison chimed in with a "Yessiree!". Ben held out the scarf again. It was exactly like the one Mama had bought him and his brothers when they were still a family. Before she...

Ben shook the memories out of his head. No use to dwell on bad memories. Now is the time to be merry with my brothers! 

"Benny, can yah do th' magic?" asked Edison, "Please, Benny. Can thah be our Christmas gift?" Ben laughed but looked uncertainly between his brothers and the new hat and scarf. 

"But, don't you want something more substantial?" he asked, "I mean, you got me brand new clothes. Don't you guys-"

"Naw, Benny," Edison interrupted, "We like th' magic. It reminds us of Mama and when she used tah bring us out tah the garden." Ben turned to Lawry and he nodded, smiling and gesturing. Go, he seemed to say, do the magic. Ben turned back to Edison.

"Well... Alright!" he said. He looked around and found some flowerpots with dirt in them. He walked over and dumped the dirt out all over the rooftop until there was a rather sizeable spot of soil on top of the snow. He took a breath and held out his hands. The soil started to glow gold and shoots sprouted from the dark soil, rapidly growing and developing into a mess of flowers. There were pink roses, chrysanthemums, daisies, goldenrods, and marjoram. The most prominent however was a rather large cluster of daylilies in the center. Edison laughed and clapped with joy and Lawry smiled and put his arm around his brother.

"Benny, what do they mean? What do they mean?" asked Edison excitedly. Ben pointed first at the roses.

"Pink roses mean happiness," He moved on to the chrysanthemums, "The chrysanthemums mean cheerfulness," Ben pointed to the daisies, then the goldenrods, then to the marjorams, "The daisies mean innocence and hope, the goldenrods mean encouragement and good fortune, and the marjorams mean joy and happiness." Lawry walked passed Edison and Ben and knelt right in front of the daylilies. He looked back and tapped his chest with two knuckles. Ben nodded and knelt beside him.

"You're right Lars," he said, "Daylilies mean mother." Edison joined them and tapped on his chest with two knuckles, the triplet's sign for mother. They all sat in silence in front of the lilies in remembrance before Edison broke the silence.

"So, Benny," he chirped, "Yah've just aged into Bixmuth. Are yah thinkin' of goin'?" Ben pursed his lips.

"I don't know," he replied, "I want to go, but I also don't want to leave you two on your own. It's also a hidden school between dimensions so ordinary people don't see it, but there are gateways all over the planet. I just don't know where the closest gateway is." Edison grinned at him.

"Well, lucky fo' yah, I happen tah have other friends that are goin' tah that school. I talked with them --since they know about you- and they said that there was a gateway in Lady Liberty. Maybe yah fellas can go together!" Ben was skeptical. More people like me? Hard to believe... He pondered it a bit more. The "friends" he was talking about seemed a little too convenient, especially since he had just aged into Bixmuth Universal School of Magick. 

"Have I met these "friends"?" Ben asked cautiously, "I can't risk getting caught in possession of magic. You know what the coppers do to people with power like mine..." He trailed off and looked over at Lawry. Lawry was listening and he flinched when Ben said the word "coppers". Ben frowned and turned back to Edison, who was also staring after Lawry. 

"Yeah, yah have at some point," said Edison, "The Garrett siblings? Yah remember them right? They worked wit us last year wit deliverin' papes?" Ben thought back. The Garrett siblings? He snapped his fingers.

"You mean Charleston and Graves?" he asked, "I didn't know they had magick." Edison nodded excitedly.

"I accidentally walked in on them practicing in the back alleys of Mustah Street. Charleston was makin the bricks float and Graves was playin' wit some dead rats who got alive again." 

Ben nodded and smiled. A necromancer and an object manipulator perhaps? Or a terra moderatoris? No, no that can't be right... A terra moderatoris can only control raw earth materials. Bricks are man-made, even if they are from rock. 

"Well?" Edison interrupted his thoughts, "Yea or nay?" Ben looked back over the expanse of New York City and all of the tiny people enjoying their tiny lives. 

"Yea," he said at last, turning back to his brothers with a smile on his face, "Let's go find that gateway!"

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
mellifera
Review

Hello GreenTea, and happy Review Day!

I'll get right into this, yes?

-This really isn't very important, but I really like the quote at the beginning. Just thought that was worth mentioning.

The bustle that was the streets on Christmas Eve was like a river


'was' sounds a bit too repetitive here. Maybe something more like...'the bustle of the streets on Christmas Eve was like a river'. Otherwise, I really like that description of crowds moving in the streets.

-You might consider breaking up the beginning a little bit, because it's a little long and stretchy to read. Some of it is a little clunky (you have short, choppy sentences), but otherwise, you have done a very lovely job at setting up the scene. It doesn't feel too long or too info-dumpy, but I'd just consider those other things for that :)

-Okay I'm already loving whatever flower power Ben has. I don't know why, but I love stories that have some flower meanings and/or flowery powers.

He unwrapped the parcel, the brown paper crinkling under his fingers


I love this description. I can imagine the crinkling of the paper, and it's very pleasing.


Great story! You have a really good way of describing things and setting your scene up. Some of the parts are a tad clunky, but it's really not so bad. You have some grammar issues, but in terms of the whole picture, it's not too big of an issue (a very fixable issue, after all!).

Keep up the good work! I'll try to look out for future chapters!

Have a lovely day :)
-scribbles

User avatar
Junel
Review
Junel wrote a review · Wed Nov 29, 2017 2:34 am

Hey there friend! So... it begins.

First off, this is a great start! I usually hate long things of description seeing them as unnecessary and something just plain wordy, but here you make it actually likable. You use interesting words and description to maintain my focus and pull me in. I especially loved the line...

pink, red, orange, and purple like ink in water

this is the a new and beautiful descriptor for a sunset!!!

It started to glow a soft golden hue and a green shoot blossomed from the dirt.

I love this too, although something seems a little wonky. Maybe try replaced the and with before

The only language that can I can be honest with.

and I'm loving this character development (and just the character in general) already. This makes them sound interesting, but also as you continue it makes them very interesting.

Ben had soft brown ones like the fertile soil of the west, Edison had brightly colored blue ones like the free sky, and Lawry had cold grey ones like the steel of the factories.

I seriously can't get enough of these amazing descriptions, where are these even coming from? How does your brain do this so well?

Mine got taken by the wind, but you both still have yours right?

This question seems awkward. It's the sort of thing that you really wouldn't ask someone if you knew them well so it just feels weird.

"It's just like the one Mama bought us our last Christmas together!

You repeat this twice, here and then later when he begins to get sad. I think it's more important later so maybe just get rid of this.

It's also a hidden school between dimensions so ordinary people don't see it, but there are gateways all over the planet. I just don't know where the closest gateway is.

Final note this seems a little awkward. He seems to be telling them it's hidden when it seems like that's obvious knowledge maybe try something more like.
And I just don't know where the closest gateway is, with it being hidden between dimensions so ordinary people don't see it, I'd have to fins one in order to go.
just and example, but I hope you get the idea.

Overall this is a great start and it lets the reader see where the story is going while introducing the characters in an interesting way, while still leaving a lot a mystery. Like who are the coppers and what happened to their mom?

I can't wait to read more!!!

Sláinte - Junel

P.S. I was wondering why you spell magic normally a couple times and then not some other times.

Sorry the magic stuff was just me being a dumb dumb. Thank you for your input!



"And the rest is rust and stardust."
— Vladimir Nabokov