E - Everyone

Smartphones: How Smart Are They Really?

Author's Note: This was written for my English class. Please ignore the citations mid essay. They're there for my English teacher to verify my statistics :) oh and I'm not saying teens shouldn't have smartphones at all, just that usage should be restricted.

Smartphones have become a part of not only American culture, but of cultures around the world. 1 in every 5 people on the planet own a smartphone (Heggestuen, 1) but what these people don’t know is how smartphones aren’t actually that smart. Adults are able to use their phones in moderation, but what about teens? How do we teach them self control on their phones? There isn’t a right or wrong answer to this question, but teenagers should not have unrestricted access to their smartphones because they are physically unhealthy, socially unhealthy, and also serve as a life consuming distraction.

Imagine a teenager, somebody your age, heartbroken because he or she was bullied online. Picture the confusion when you think you can trust someone you met on the internet, only to have them betray you by posting your secrets on the internet or even just by ignoring you. Or maybe, this person wasn’t even who you thought they were. This is the problem that comes with teenagers being constantly on their smartphones. They get comfortable socializing over text, talking and sharing thoughts on facebook and twitter. Eventually, the internet seems more and more real. Then you begin to venture outside of those “safe” social networks. You want to meet more people, or do other things. Whether this is online communities for gaming, writing or various other activities, getting too comfortable with your smartphone can be dangerous and painful, especially if there aren’t any adults monitoring your activity. Not only that, but once you start socializing on the internet it gets more and more interesting. Eventually, friend’s “irl” get old. Some may scoff at this, but this does happen. Teens who are snapchatting or on instagram while at a friend’s house are just in the beginning stages of this, whether they’re interacting with people they know, or people they have never met.

One thing that people tend to value above all others is their physical health. What they don’t realize is that the population of the two thirds of Americans have smartphones (Fingas, 1) and they put their physical well being at risk every day. Smartphones can cause problems like arthritis, carpal tunnel, neck and back pain, degeneration of eyesight, loss of hearing, physical addiction and poor sleep quality. Some of these effects seem a little extreme. Take physical addiction for instance, studies show that 66% of smartphone users feel anxiety or fear of being separated from their phones. This can manifest itself from being afraid to lose your phone, or experiencing legitimate withdrawal when away from your phone with symptoms like anxiety, fidgeting and fear of isolation. Other more evident effects like neck and back pain as well as carpal tunnel emerge from hunching over smartphones as well as an excess of texting and use in general. (Hawkins, 1)

In the digital age, we’re busy and focused on work or school. For teens, it is often found that after school activities are impossible or very difficult to keep up with, especially with a heavy homework load. The thing is, teenagers actually would have time for those things if their Smartphone and internet use was restricted. Statistics show that 81% of teenagers are on some kind of Social Network be it Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. (Kaiser, 1) Today, kids ages 8-18 years old spend 7.5 hours a day on average on the internet or watching TV. (Lewin, 1) Every day kids use cell phones 60 times a day whether it’s to text, play games or check social media.(Ahuja, 1) While phones distract from daily activities, they have also been proven to lower grades. In Kent, Ohio, a study was conducted using 500 students and data taken from the study showed that frequent cell phone users had lower GPAs than students who used them less often. Smartphones are among the biggest distractions of the digital age and can be life consuming if not monitored.(Lepp, 1)

Often times, Smartphone users will argue that their phones offer not only a good source of entertainment, but are a good organizational tool as far as keeping track of names, numbers, people, events, to do lists, and homework. The thing about these devices is that they might give the illusion of helping you remember, but the reality is, they actually make you forget. “Digital Dementia” is a condition that is becoming more and more well known as the digital age progresses. Frequent Smartphone users are having problems remembering the simplest things. Why? Well, Smartphone users tend to have a more developed left side of the brain than they do the right side. The right side of your brain helps with things like concentration, attention span and memory. The instantaneous nature of Smartphones lowers attention span and takes away the challenges of everyday life like remembering phone numbers, first and last names, email addresses and even directions for how to get around town. The lack of exercise of the right side of your brain causes deterioration of simple things that may go unnoticed at first, but may soon have a big impact. It starts with little things, like forgetting about what you wanted to say or where you set your pencil down. Then it turns into bigger things, like why you walked into your room or the homework from last night. The digital age is too new to know the longer term effects, but professionals only see those seemingly “little things” just getting worse and worse. (Stewart, 1)

So, Smartphones, in truth, really aren’t all that smart. They aren’t good for you whether it’s your physical health, your social health and they don’t save as much time as people tend to think. So next time you get your next phone upgrade, or even when you have a choice between reading a book and playing on your phone, be conscious about your limits and what you need to do to keep yourself smart and safe.

Sources:

Ahuja, Masuma. "Teens Are Spending More Time Consuming Media, on Mobile Devices." Washington Post. The Washington Post, 13 Mar. 2013. Web. 27 Oct. 2014.

Hawkins, Amanda. "5 Seriously Bad Side Effects of Your Smartphone Addiction." Good Housekeeping. Good Housekeeping, 2014. Web. 27 Oct. 2014.

Fingas, John. "Two-thirds of Americans Now Have Smartphones."Engadget. N.p., 11 Feb. 2014. Web. 27 Oct. 2014.

Kaiser, Tiffany. "DailyTech - Survey: 94 Percent of Teens Use Facebook."DailyTech - Survey: 94 Percent of Teens Use Facebook. N.p., 22 May 2013. Web. 27 Oct. 2014.

Andrew, Lepp. "News: Frequent Cell Phone Use Linked to Anxiety, Lower Grades and Reduced Happiness in Students, Kent State Research Shows." Kent State University. N.p., 6 Dec. 2013. Web. 26 Oct. 2014.

Stewart, Dodai. "Digital Dementia: Your Smart Phone Is Giving You Brain Damage." Jezebel. N.p., 6 June 2013. Web. 27 Oct. 2014.

Comments & reviews · 5
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Random avatar
devintristan Comment

Sometimes I'm scared of how much control my phone has over me. I feel like it steals my data and sends it to someone else. I'm even starting to feel the same towards my pc. I read this article at https://spinbackup.com/blog/office-365- ... -concerns/ about Office 365 security concerns and I'm scared as hell.

User avatar
Monsters
Review

Hey, Gravity.

I like that you cited your sources.

Other then that you should take your time with a subject before you leave it. The subjects are not explained with the detail required to be logically consistent. Take for instance this sentence;

Smartphones can cause problems like arthritis, carpal tunnel, neck and back pain, degeneration of eyesight, loss of hearing, physical addiction and poor sleep quality.


This is not cited and if it were it would need to contain the study including its methodology. Otherwise the facts get manipulated and you spread mis-information. If I were writing this essay this one sentence would be at-least a paragraph explaining how these issues come about. To be honest, I am skeptical at this point and that is not good for your message.

Secondly, your paragraphs need to be shorter. They should make one and maybe sometimes two points not seven to ten points. When too many points are made it is a problem because it is rushed with not enough detail or explanation. It is also unclear. I am often asking myself the question of what you want me to take out of the paragraph. I ask myself what point you are making and why you are making it.


of teenagers are on some kind of Social Network be it Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. (Kaiser, 1)


May I ask if this is MLA or APA format? If either, the source always goes at the end of the sentence before the period. This is important because it is the clearest way to cite, when you put it out of the sentence the reader questions which sentence you are really citing. When you put the cite in the middle of the sentence it makes the sentence confusing and harder to read. For instance, if you have a cite with no author that contains the words of the title if looks more like you are adding a note in the sentence and not a reference.


Lastly, the title "How Smart Are They Really?" is misleading. An essay with a title such as that should take about the artificial intelligence of smart phones and maybe machines. Right now you are talking about the social and physical implications of smart phone usage not the capabilities of smart phones.

Thanks for reading the review, it was a pleasure reading this.

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BookWolf
Comment

Not even gonna review this, just gonna say how awesome this is. :D It is so true and so mind blowing for people who didn't know this stuff (Which I did, but that doesn't make it any less interesting to read in someone else's words). Because of this, I've decided to follow you. I've read a few of your other writings and found them very interesting.

Bye for now!

~BookWolf

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TimmyJake
Review

Timmy here!

There isn't much for me to say on reviewing this piece, but I thought I would sneak a peek. :) Iggy has gotten pretty much all the nitpicks and said a lot of what I would have wanted to say, sooo... I will have to be content with just picking up the pieces that she left, and just squeak out a bit of praise before I hit the road.

They get comfortable socializing over text, talking and sharing thoughts on facebook and twitter. Eventually, the internet seems more and more real. Then you begin to venture outside of those “safe” social networks. You want to meet more people, or do other things.


So, when you first look at this, there appears to be nothing wrong. But you have issues with, um.... something. I can't quite name it right now. Early morning. No coffee yet. Things are gonna be difficult. You have a part in there where you started off with "they get comfortable socializing....[/I] and then you just flipped the wordage around and changed it to "you begin to venture outside those safe social...." Get what I am saying? Talk to the same person, a disconnected, unpersonal approach, I think. Talk to the general public rather than the specific person. Maybe? I dunno.

Imagine a teenager, somebody your age, heartbroken because he or she was bullied online.


This sounds all too familiar. :(

Smartphones can cause problems like arthritis, carpal tunnel, neck and back pain, degeneration of eyesight, loss of hearing, physical addiction and poor sleep quality


Very shocking, but very true. I have heard smartphones also cause tumors if placed near the body too often (which everyone does, of course). Something to do with the Bluetooth or Wi-Fi signal?

So I would say I completely agree with you on this. In this modern day age, everyone is using the internet and the computers for everything. Just last night, I spent four hours on the computer, writing and doing research. Now that's an example of work that can't be done elsewhere. That's not excessive usage... probably. But walking around with your phone 24/7, sleeping with it (now that might be overdoing it), and just texting and playing with it constantly. Perhaps someone should let all these people (including myself sometimes) in on the fact that there is *creeps in closer* an off button on smartphones. and... a silent button. Shocking, eh?

As for all the thing with getting too comfortable with social media and going outside the safety zone, yeah, we do that a lot. I think up to a certain age, phone usage should be restricted until we either a) can restrict it ourselves, or b) just got too old for mommy to be watching us. The second option is probably the most prominent. :P

I think you did a wonderful job on this piece, but I don't really have anything else to say, I think. Good job. :)

~Darth Timmyjake

User avatar
Iggy
Review
Iggy wrote a review · Tue Oct 28, 2014 4:02 am

Hey Gravity!

1 in every 5 people on the planet


I would spell out the numbers if I were you. Makes the essay look more professional, as opposed to being lazy. Not that you are, but people will perceive what they perceive. :P

but what these people don’t know is how smartphones aren’t actually that smart.


~ Instead of "these people", try "they"?
~ Instead of "how", try "that"?
~ Try flipping "aren't" and "actually". The sentence should flow better when that's done.

Adults are able to use their phones in moderation,


Back this up with facts or it's just fluff.

Imagine a teenager, somebody your age,


Unless the essay has an intended audience, don't generalize. So if your teacher said to make this essay aimed at the teenage era, then leave this sentence. If not, remove the indicated.

you think you can trust someone you met on the internet, only to have them betray you by posting your secrets on the internet


You use "on the internet" twice. I know this isn't a story, but still, I suggest you treat it like one :P make it flow and smooth and have pretty synonyms instead of repeating yourself endlessly to make it sound easier when read. Perhaps replace one of the emboldened with "online"?

talking and sharing thoughts on facebook and twitter.


Believe it or not... Facebook and Twitter* are proper nouns, since they are company names. Capitalize those head letters.

You want to meet more people, or do other things.


I'd remove "more" and "or do other things". Just leave it at "You want to meet more people" because the "or" makes people start wondering what you're thinking and they get annoyed when you don't elaborate. Speaking of elaboration, expand more on this. Try rewording it a bit more, like "You want to meet people in real life." This sounds a lot more of a shocking statement than just bland "you want to meet people." The "real life" part shows the reader exactly what you mean, since you can meet people over the internet, like we do everyday on YWS.

friend’s “irl” get old.


~ friends*
~ also, I wouldn't use the acronym, since you aren't directly quoting someone. I can see the attempt at humor, but with some English professors, it falls flat. ;)

teens who are snapchatting or on instagram


Again, company names are proper nouns.

population of the two thirds of Americans


I would reword this.

~ two-thirds of the population of America say [...]

if their Smartphone and internet use

Often times, Smartphone users will argue

Frequent Smartphone users are having problems remembering the simplest things.

Well, Smartphone users tend to have a more developed left side

The instantaneous nature of Smartphones lowers attention span

So, Smartphones, in truth


Smartphone is not a proper noun. Decapitalize the S.

Statistics show that 81% of teenagers are on some kind of Social Network


Nor is social network. Decap. Also, add a comma after the last word.

They aren’t good for you whether it’s your physical health, your social health


You only list two things here, so instead of the comma, put "or".


Okay, Gravity! Wonderful essay. I normally don't say that, since an essay is an essay; and by that, I mean an essay is a pain in the rear. ;) but this was pretty good! You put it together in a nice manner and it read smoothly, for the most part. I like the sources you chose; great facts to back up your thesis!

You covered each point nicely. Other than the nitpicks pointed out above, this was really nice for an essay. I enjoyed reading it. Best of luck with the grading!

~Iggy

Thanks Iggy, oh and by the way, I love the Purge :)



I cannot separate the aesthetic pleasure of seeing a butterfly and the scientific pleasure of knowing what it is.
— Vladmir Nabokov