z
  • Home

Young Writers Society



How To Be A Villain Madame Mouse's Mission Chapter 1

by GrHinds09


Kate Gilman Villains Academy had a warm atmosphere of laughter and the walls were painted in bright colors. It was a school for villains, but that didn’t mean it had to be dark and dull.

Corey was a young-fourteen year old villain in training and a rising star in the academy he had his own team to run and it filled him with pride. His power wasn’t flashy or incredible but it worked. He could see into every multiverse every possible reality for himself so he could make the best decisions in most situations.

The only annoying part was that all the stupid futures came up too, like what would happen if he blinked a second later or if he screamed Alpaca when he was trying to figure out what the right answer on a test was. The Headvillians were smart though and when assigning teams they gave him Steve, whose power was the ability to stretch out and whoever he touched power is boosted so it helps Corey filter out the more unhelpful stuff.

Right now though Corey had a feeling of rubatosis, he was about to walk into the part of the school he hated, completely alone, without his team. His mind was racing. Why on earth did the Headvillians want him, him alone? Why couldn’t his friends be here? He swallowed but his mouth felt dry. He tried to run through the possibilities but he couldn’t focus long enough to use his power. Corey found this unsettling; he didn't like being unsure and found himself oddly dependent on his power at times to feel secure. He hates it here it’s supposed to be the safest part of the school (a bunker in case of emergencies) but it seemed dead in comparison, the rest of the school was painted in a rainbow of colors and warm cream tones but the paint had long since faded and was peeling off the walls to reveal the cold hard steel underneath. The air was thick and it clung to his throat, Corey felt small despite being of average height.

At the end of the hallway were two huge doors or maybe they weren’t huge at all but he simply was so tiny right now that they could appear no other way. He rapped on the door three times and a tall, lean, shrimpy looking man opened it with ease,which normally would have surprised Corey because of the heft and thickness of the door but his time at Kate Gilman Villains Academy has taught him anyone can do anything.

He knew he was a kinda scrawny kid the polar opposite of his brother but now more than ever it was bearing down on him. This feeling of smallness. Gods, he hated thinking about his brother. It made him feel guilty, he had left without saying a word to Mikey or his Mom and it was weird now how things had played out. Mikey being a hero and all. Corey missed him sometimes. He shook his head to clear the thoughts when he heard Kate Gilman or as she’s more commonly known Good Game, chuckle.

“It’s good to see you again Core, the place is a little overwhelming, I know” Corey remembered how petrified he was when he first met her. (a complete accident by the way, he never intended to be a villain) He couldn’t quite get the “ey” out and she won’t let him forget about it. Good Game gestures to the room and for the first time he takes in the grand scale of it. There was a high stage with five seats, lecterns, and bleachers. The ceiling rose high into the air so large he reckoned he could stack about 20 of himself without touching it. The bleachers seemed to seat thousands of kids enough for his whole school and another. A true auditorium though it seemed like it was used more as an office for the Headvillians as of late.

He realized he was still lingering by the door, he forced himself to step forward past the bleachers despite how his stomach was churning with anxiety. He took a deep breath as he stood before America’s top five villains. Wait, wait, wait four villains?! Madame Mouse was gone which was a relief since the stout and short tempered woman intimidated him. Corey still remembered how he could barely breath as her thick muscular fingers had wrapped around his neck. It must have been what, a year now? He focused up. Knowing whatever was about to happen was important, at the chairs which each had a lectern to match they were seated in order, left to right, Ted Mech, Mouse’s empty seat hollow and cold missing her usual fire, Good Game, Orphee and Hellcat.

“Alright Apex let's get down to business, Obviously we called you here for a reason and I’d bet you’d like to know why” Good Game sat up a little straighter, clearly removing any casual air she had before. Her face and muscles looked tense, she was clearly stressed.

“Yes mam, I uh tried to use my powers on the way here in fact” He gave her a little nod of respect.

“Well as I’m sure you can see Madame Mouse isn’t here” Corey hated the formality of her speech, the use of full and proper villain names. He was used to goofing around with her, Good Game helped him adjust to school and he considered her like a guardian. She was usually calm, loose and easy even in the worst situations so seeing her uncomfortable scared him. She continued,

“She’s been captured by the heroes and we don’t know what they want with her or where she is but Echo recently found out that there’s a data file containing her whereabouts in the Sadros Lab. So we want you to prepare your team to do an information retrieval. We- I’m trusting you to handle this you’ve proven yourself time and time again so I believe in you to get Mad Mouse’s location. I’ll fax you the info sheet okay?” Good game pulled out her tablet and started the faxing process, Hellcat smiled warmly at Corey giving him her support.

“Of course I’ll fill in the team and get them ready to head out by tomorrow morning” Corey turned to go, anxious to read the sheet and learn the more fine-tuned details of his mission. The meeting seemed more customary than actually informational to him. When he turned though, Good Game stood up suddenly. He didn’t see it but he heard the screech of the chair. She spoke in a rushed, stone cold manner,

“You were not dismissed, Apex” She walked briskly towards him, he felt like he couldn’t escape, her sudden intensity surprised and worried him causing what felt like a jolt of electricity to spiral through his spine. He stood, stiff and still, his back remaining towards the villains, he couldn’t show his sudden concern. Good Game whispered close in his ear “Corey, there’s something else, Echo thinks they’re expecting us and sending someone in particular to fix it, they don’t know who were sending but your not gonna like who they’ve picked”

“Who?” He was dreading the answer, who would he be worried about? Good game hesitated

“Corey the heroes are sending Mike” “ We would of preferred to have chosen a different team but yours is best fit for this mission”

His heart stopped dead, that, that just couldn’t be right. The image of his tall muscular brother, who’s face and thick black hair resembled his own, came to mind. Corey wasn’t ready to face him. They’d fought once before, but the stakes felt more real this time if he messed up this mission they might not get Mad Mouse back and without Madame Mouse the balance would start to tip even more.

When it came to Mikey there was no malice in Corey’s heart he hadn’t left out of hatred, Mikey and him hadn’t become villains and heroes because of one of those great epic rivalries. It was because of a prophecy.

Godland, was what both sides agreed to call it, but they argued over the meaning. It was said that the balance of good and evil must remain intact or great, powerful gods would emerge from the earth. Corey and the grand majority of villains at KGV agreed that when the gods emerged a horrible bloody war would break out and the gods would reclaim earth, slaughtering all of humanity in the process. So they did evil things to keep the rest of the world safe. Where many of the “heroes” believed that by doing good they would prove worthiness to the gods and these titans would eradicate all evil and create a world where humans and gods were one in peace and joy. Other heroes cared not for the prophecy but believed that doing evil was wrong so they stopped it.

Corey knew the hero's little fantasy was wrong; he had visions showing the horror and death caused by these gods and he had to do everything in his power to keep the balance and protect the people he loved. People like Mom, Mikey, and his friends.

He’d encountered Mikey twice after they split once in battle and once in a Starbucks. It was awkward and he had to throw his triple caramel venti out after. He couldn’t bring himself to drink it. So how on Earth could he fight him with the pressure, he needed to escape.

He backed away from Good Game and ran down the drafty hallway. He was scared he didn’t want to have to worry about if he had hurt Mike or feel guilty and off focus on a mission like this. He couldn’t afford to slip up. He couldn’t afford to mess up again. He couldn’t afford to be weak, to not be able to land the punch. Corey couldn’t bear the thought that maybe Mike felt guilty for his leaving, he cared deeply about Mikey even if he was annoying and stupid sometimes. He couldn’t face Mike because he didn’t want to know that he hurt him.

Corey hadn’t noticed how far he’d run. He was past the hell halls and near the central plaza. His legs were sore even though they continued to hit the ground with consistency. He didn’t know where he was going but he was nearing the common rooms so he decided to go back to his bedroom and read the fax. Maybe it would calm him down. He doubted it but one can hope. As he ran he got weird looks from some of the student’s on their way to classes or just hanging around. He figured it was odd to be running top speed down the halls in the opposite direction of your next class.

Once he got to the familiar corridor where the boys dorms were located he started to slow down. As Corey slowed he could feel his legs shaking and his heart beating fast. The adrenaline rush was over and the side effects were hitting him. He walked up to room number 417, yanked the door open and promptly collapsed on the floor.

“Bro you good?” Steve, who was Corey’s roomie, stood up and closed the door behind him.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine just dumb, decided to run across half the campus” Corey was already lifting himself back up and onto the bed because that was at least a respectable place to collapse.

“So bbg tell me what’s up what did the bigwigs want with you?” Steve was already in the kitchen fixing a cup of coffee. Corey’s head hurt and so did his legs he didn’t wanna think about the heist or Mike right now. He pulled the blankets up around him. Quickly in a flash he got an image of Steve burning his hand on the pot.

“Watch your hands idiot” Corey was used to visions by now. As a side effect of his powers he tended to get visions too, especially when someone was gonna get hurt. His friends had just learned to trust his random advice.

“Thanks wonder boy” He rolled his eyes but was extra careful with the pot.

“Anyways we got a mission tomorrow, a big one. The fax is probably already here.” Corey rolled over to face away from the dreaded fax machine. What had been curiosity about its contents had turned to annoyance. This mission was gonna suck and he didn’t want to deal with it. Steve sat down on the bed next to Corey and once Corey had sat up he handed him his coffee.

“So what is it?”

“Information retrieval.” Corey took a long sip of coffee letting it warm his body.

“Bleh boooooooooooring.”

“It’s important though old Mad Mouse is missing and the data were picking up has her location, so we gotta infiltrate Sadros lab and get it.”

“Jesus Madame Mouse is really missing?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah it seems crazy but the heroes got her I guess” Corey downed the last of his coffee and put the mug in the sink before building the resolve to read the fax. He snatched the paper from the cold metal box, once he did the small flickering green light turned off.

INFO RETRIEVAL KGV ACADEMY 820365

RECIPIENT: COREY WILLIAMS AKA APEX DESTINATION: E,WG R:417

CLEARANCE LEVEL: THETA, MAY TELL ELIGIBLE STAFF/TEAM/CLASSMATES

Corey W.your mission is to infiltrate Sadros Lab, use any means necessary. You must retrieve the data file containing Madame Mouse's location. The data is on a floor in between floors 12 and 14. Please refrain from civilian violence no civilians may be harmed per custom unless there is no other option to keep the majority safe.You have access to weapons vault C and SCUTTLER Y*847 has been prepped and is ready to go at your command.You,ANNIE SELLIS,NELLIE BRINT,STEVE HASENKAMP,and SANDRA(L*ST N*ME UNKNOWN)must report to weapons vault C at 8:00 A:M OCT/07/2023. Please brief your team at this time. Your jet a I wing Horizons resignation number 1102094008 will be ready to leave at 8:45. Your team must be in docking bay Alpha by then or there will be severe punishment.

Thank you for your cooperation.

KATE GILMAN VILLAINS ACADEMY APPRECIATES YOUR DEDICATION.

Corey wished he could forget Mike was gonna be there. He wanted to do good by his teachers and the Headvillians but he wasn’t excited for this mission in the slightest. He handed the fax to Steve who gave it a look.

“These faxes are so stuffy. Gods, what AI writes these?” Steve tried to play it off but he kept bouncing his leg up and down. Corey knew Steve understood the situation and the stakes if they failed, how Godland would be that much closer to triggering.

“Amen they’re bland as I’ll get out.” Corey just wanted to stop thinking about it for a bit. He yawned and stretched out.

“Alright I’m gonna hit the hay, Night Steve.”

“Goodnight Corey.”

In the Sadros lab a tall lean woman with straight blonde hair and high cheekbones was ordering grunts and heroes around.

“You there get the bomb set up!”

“Yes, General Claire.” The stocky little lizard guy with the bomb scurried off. The bomb weighed so much that he had to tilt it onto his chest to not fall over. A young boy who looked about sixteen with thick black hair, an athletic build and a suit that glowed faintly in the dark stood next to General Claire.

“Claire, is this really okay?” He asked her. She looked down at him with an inlay of mild surprise.

“Of course it is, this is war we’re talking about and keeping that wretched Madame Mouse’s location private is critical to our success. The villains they send are going to be horrible people so it’s not really a loss. If we win this war all of humanity will get heaven on earth no more pain no more suffering.” She smiled warmly at him.The boy looked despondent, like he was thinking.

“Yeah I guess so.” He muttered.

“Don’t worry when they come we’ll blow them away along with the bait data and we’ll be one step closer to a brighter future. Trust me it’s for the best, Mikey”

At 9:00 AM Corey Williams and his crew of villains will arrive at Sandros Lab. But first he has to get his team ready. Will they stop the bomb in time? To find out pick up volume #2 of HOW TO BE A VILLAIN!


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
5 Reviews

Points: 42
Reviews: 5

Donate
Wed Nov 01, 2023 2:02 pm
View Likes
alexxei says...



Hi mommy, your story was amazing omgugridhr. I can't believe that this story is that amazing im gonna throw up aegfywsazhr. yOUR SUCH A GOOD WRITITIUER OMG




User avatar
467 Reviews

Points: 7266
Reviews: 467

Donate
Sat Oct 28, 2023 3:28 pm
View Likes
Horisun wrote a review...



Happy Review Day, and belated welcome to The Young Writer's Society! I hope you've had an excellent morning so far :D

Right away, I was super impressed by the juxtaposition of your setting. I really liked that the villain's headquarters are described as warm and inviting, which is opposite to what the reader would normally expect. It also serves as a great analogy for the stories theme- that though the villains do evil things, that doesn't necessarily make them evil people. No person wants to live and learn somewhere dark and dreary, no matter what side of a conflict they're on. Though I'm not so quick to trust the people running this academy, this small tidbit does a lot to humanize the students.

Also, I love "Good Game" as a villain name. It follows the usual formula for alter egos, but it's such a clever twist on it. Simply adore.

One of my favorite tropes in fiction is when the bad guys have their own functional friend groups. I find that all characters, whether they are "good" or "evil" are so much more interesting when we get to see them play off the people they care about. So far, you've done an excellent job with this, and I look forward to better seeing the dynamics between this team!

Small thing to note. Your worldbuilding is incredibly interesting, and I'm very excited to see how it gets fleshed out in the coming chapters. However, sometimes I felt that your exposition interfered with the pacing of certain scenes. Though you do an excellent job not info dumping it all on us at the beginning- instead dispersing it out across the course of the chapter- sometimes it's like information is stuck in places it doesn't belong.

For example, we first learn about Corey's brother as he's entering his meeting with his superiors.

He knew he was a kinda scrawny kid the polar opposite of his brother but now more than ever it was bearing down on him. This feeling of smallness. Gods, he hated thinking about his brother. It made him feel guilty, he had left without saying a word to Mikey or his Mom and it was weird now how things had played out Mikey being a hero and all.


This felt a little out of place to me for a couple reasons. We haven't met Mikey yet, so comparing Corey to his brother doesn't mean much to the reader. This information is also a tad irrelevant to the current scene, if that makes sense. Knowing about Corey's family history isn't (currently) related to him being anxious towards Good Game, and the other three high-caliber villains.

It does, however, become relevant a few paragraphs later. Corey is soon told that he will be facing off against Mikey on the mission, so it may be more effective to hold the exposition closer to your chest until then.

All in all, though, I really enjoyed this chapter! I'm very excited to read the next one, and look forward to seeing where you take this story! So please, keep on writing, and have an amazing rest of your day! :D




GrHinds09 says...


Thank you so much for the kind words and review! I'll try to work on the info placement. I was trying to establish the context of their relationship and kinda show how Corey was feeling, but I see what you mean about some of the information possibly feeling out of place. Since I'm not starting at the beginning I was trying to fill in some of the context that'll be evident once I write the start of a true chapter one and onward. This mission and point in the story is more towards the late middle. Seems like I messed that up though lol It's super helpful that your telling me this! I'll try to fix this up!
Thank you for reviewing my work and I hope you have a wonderfully scrumptious day!



Horisun says...


No problem! I%u2019m happy to help! Exposition placement can be real fiddly, but I think you%u2019re already on the right track.



GrHinds09 says...


Thank you! :) :) :)



GrHinds09 says...


Thank you! :) :) :)



User avatar
1315 Reviews

Points: 127
Reviews: 1315

Donate
Fri Oct 20, 2023 7:53 pm
View Likes
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



A story where the villains are…good and the heroes oblivious? I never thought that I’d see this! I like it. :> It makes sense for the villains to do the dirty work to keep the world functioning. Whatever these Gods are, I do not think that they will spare humanity. The villains are villains for the greater good.

I hope that you will have a wonderful and amazing day and night.




GrHinds09 says...


Thank you so much! I%u2019ve been having a lot of fun with this and your feedback makes me very happy! Also about the first thing some hero%u2019s are oblivious but others think the gods will help them so they attempt to eradicate as much evil as possible to reach this ecstasy heaven on earth type thing. I%u2019m glad your finding it interesting %uD83D%uDE01%uD83D%uDE01
I hope you have a super cool time of day!



vampricone6783 says...


Thank you. :>



GrHinds09 says...


:) idk why it was glitching so bad in the comment cry



User avatar
20 Reviews

Points: 314
Reviews: 20

Donate
Thu Oct 19, 2023 2:08 am
View Likes
GrHinds09 says...



Thank you so much spottedpebble! I'll try to fix the tense stuff, I hadn't noticed until you pointed it out lol. This reveiw meant so much and it had me doing the little happy hand flap things. :) I'll also work on the run on sentences looking back I abuse my commas :.( My rough guess for this specific mission is four chapters but I am going to continue writing in this world detailing out more of the beginning and end so total chapters for the series as a whole idk. THANK YOU your advice is super helpful xoxo :)
I hope you have a great nonlinear time.




User avatar
27 Reviews

Points: 555
Reviews: 27

Donate
Thu Oct 19, 2023 1:45 am
spottedpebble wrote a review...



[center]Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

This is spottedpebble. (But you probably already know that from reading my username up there.

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This is about a villain-in-training named Corey. (Code name: Apex) He attends the Kate Gilmans Villains Academy and has a reputation as a good student and runs his own villain team. Corey has the power of being able to see what happens to himself in every reality in the multiverse, which gives him insight to what choices he should make. He can also see when people will be in pain and warns them of it. Corey's brother, Mikey, is a hero. The things that make people villains or heroes is an event called Godland that will happen if the world isn't balanced. There are five main villains and one of them, Madame Mouse, has been captured by the heroes and it is Corey and his team's mission to go and retrieve some information from the Sadros Lab that contains some information on where Madame Mouse is being held.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
You have a few run-on sentences that could be shortened to more than one sentence to make it a bit easier to understand. Also, you swapped between past and present tense at the beginning of the story. I feel like it would be easier to read if you just chose one tense, either past or present.

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
You had some great world-building and I'm excited to learn more about the setting and the world the characters live in. You had good dialogue and I like the way you casually slipped in descriptions about what the characters look like. You did so in such a way that it wasn't weird that we all of a sudden know what color hair Corey has, or how tall Mikey is compared to his brother. I'm impressed with how well you described the characters and the world. It's not easy (at least for me,) to include things like that in an easy to read way that makes sense and is still in context with the events that are happening.

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
I am now moving on to read Chapter 2, and I look forward to seeing what happens to Corey and his team, the drama with Mikey, and what becomes of Madam Mouse. Good job writing this story! How many chapters do you think it will end up being? I'm excited to read them all!




User avatar
20 Reviews

Points: 314
Reviews: 20

Donate
Wed Oct 18, 2023 8:49 pm
View Likes
GrHinds09 says...



I'm planning on hopefully releasing a chapter a week but I might do the first three chapters of this mission this week. Also I would love to know any thoughts you have about it.





the button war, the egg being featured member, and santa necro-liking halloween-esque works are the reasons i love yws
— Carina