The Dragon Descends
There was a brilliant orange glow on the horizon. Above was a clear blue like the ocean. A simple sunset. However, there was a massive cloud moving slowly down toward the eastern horizon. The sun painted it a misty purple and pink. The dragon descends.
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
I shall probably get round to checking out the story sometime today. I certainly enjoyed this little introduction...
....and then what?
Need more. Description is good, but I kind of felt like it was pointless to read this...? It definitely needs more information.
*raises eyebrows* I suppose it is Anne McCaffery-ish... heheh, which is a awesome thing, believe me. (I love the Cattini series!)
Anyway, I liked this. I shall have to go find the story now...
Very Anne McCaffrey... I LOVE Anne McCaffrey. I like the picture it gives you in the mind's eye. If you ever add on to it, PM me, so I can read it.
Thanks for you're honesty, guys, I appreciate it. And I did add to this, if anyone wants to see more. It's in the Fantasy Fiction section, under the same title. I'm really happy about that one, but no one seems to like it. But then, no one has commented on it. Tell me what you think!
it paints the perfict picture in the mind
It is realy good
Yes, I like it too. Very descriptive.
You're definitely going to want to add more in this and maybe post it in the story section.
One very nit-picky thing is the tense. It seems to be in past tense (i.e. there WAS a brilliant...) but the last sentence in the paragraph is "The dragon descends" which is in present. So you might want to tweak that a bit more.
Hope to see more! And welcome to YWS!