Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
“Don’t look to your left.” Beam hissed in a hushed tone, dragging her sister by the arm past a windowed room. The older girl's heels made clicking sounds as they quickly walked down the cold blank halls of The Vault. They had passed hundreds of doors next to large windows in the time that they had been making their escape from the facility. Beam had been working as a spy with the resistance for years now as a high ranked researcher. She was one of the top scientists in the government, so she knew the layout of labs well.
Prism still didn’t entirely know how this had happened. The drugs from the shot dulled her mind and senses, but she can vividly remember the second shot. It reminded her of an opal, with its iridescent shimmers.
Who knew something that pretty could cause so much pain.
As soon as the needle broke her skin, pain echoed throughout her whole body. Flashes of heat, frost, moisture, stinging shocks, pressure, voices and growth hit her in waves. She knew time had passed, but the last thing she remembered was her sister bursting in when the room was empty.
She had unstrapped Prism from the restraints that confined her to the cold steel chair she was tied to and grabbed her arm, dragging her out of her room and down the hall.
Before Prism could stop herself her eyes went to the window, causing her to trip over her own feet from what she saw inside. She would have hit the ground if Beam had not pulled her up roughly. “Did you see that?!” She growled at her little sister, glancing at her only long enough to communicate her fury.
“Uh..” Prism mumbled, trying to remember what she could see through the haze of her vision.
“The correct answer is no. No you didn’t. Now walk faster.” The older girl snapped, picking up her pace into a brisk walk. “I-I can barely walk, B!” Prism whimpered, swaying slightly as she hurried to keep up with her sister.
They were quiet as Beam navigated the maze-like halls of the vault. Prism could only think of the horrors she had seen through that window.
Two teal looking blobs, probably doctors, picking at a beige and red blob on a long white table. The red and beige blob looked oddly familiar, though it was odd that a leaking red blob could be familiar.
Unless-
No-
Stop it-
Don’t you dare think about it-
“B……what was in that room?” She mumbled, her body beginning to shake from her own conclusion.
“Don’t ask questions, Pris.”
“Beam! I’m not a kid anymore! You can’t hide this from me!” Prism cried, struggling to keep up with her sister's pace. “Be quiet! You’ll get us caught!” The elder girl hissed, glancing around quickly before looking back at her sister. “What do you think happened to him?”
Him.
“So it's a boy?” She deducted, though it wasn’t particularly to herself or her sister. “Wait, but didn’t Rodney-” Her breath caught as she stopped short, frozen.
No.
No no no no no
That can’t be Rodney.
The professors wouldn’t, they loved Rodney!
He always asked questions and-
Beam pulled her forward again, glancing back at her with a worried look before looking back ahead. “I’m sorry, Pris. They said he…..he didn’t meet the requirements.”
“The requirements?! He was a top student!” Prism blurted, struggling to keep her voice down, the emotions within her demanding to be acknowledged. Anger, sadness and regret swirled within her, clawing at her, desperate for her to let them out. Sweet, red-headed, gentle, wouldn’t hurt a fly, Rodney. Smart, inquisitive, creative Rodney. Her best friend Rodney. Tears pricked at her eyes as memories of them flashed through her mind.
“Pris…..”
Kind, teasing green eyes pelting her with questions when he for the first time ever saw her, dripping wet after she had fallen into a fountain.
The strong arms that held her close and made her feel sheltered and protected when she was anything except safe.
The smile that hid so much pain that only she had seen, but would never falter for her when she needed it.
The person who stood by her side when she had nothing to stand for.
The boy she loved so dearly.
It wasn’t romantic.
It was deeper than that.
A bond of souls where you could tell exactly what the other felt and what the other needed with only a glance.
He was the brother she had dreamed of but never had.
The brother she used to have.
But now he’s gone.
No.
He was stolen.
Prism didn’t even realize she was crying until she felt her sister's rough fingertips quickly brushing away the tears that coated her cheeks. “Pris, look at me.” After waiting a moment with no response, Beam gently grabbed her chin and made her look up to meet her eyes, sighing softly before sparing her a soft gaze. “We need to get you out of here. Please. Rodney wouldn’t want you to meet the same fate. Wipe your cheeks, you can cry when we get out of here. We just need to go through a checkpoint then you’re home free.”
Her little sister could only nod, her eyes unfocused as she wiped away her remaining tears. Beam bit her lip before quickly leading them back on track. There was silence between the two, Beam focused on getting Prism out, and Prism lost in thought.
He didn’t deserve death.
There was a small pounding in the back of her head.
He didn’t deserve any of this.
It turned from a pounding to a pulse.
Why did it have to be him? Why couldn’t it have been me?
The pulse focused into a dull buzzing.
Did I do something to get him killed? Could I have stopped it somehow?
The buzzing started spreading in her mind, becoming almost rhythmic.
Why couldn’t I stop it?
The buzzing noise grew until it rivaled the volume of her own thoughts.
WHY COULDN’T I PROTECT THE ONE PERSON WHO PROTECTED ME?!
Then the buzzing focused into something, a voice.
So why not do something about it?
Cold metal snapped Prism out of her mind as the dull chill pressed into the skin of her forehead. “Hey, you, speak!” The gruff, coarse voice of a masked security officer demanded, sounding annoyed. He stood near the left side of the door he was guarding. The security guard guarding the other side of the was inspecting Beam, looking over her ID card.
The glare Prism gave her officer was more attitude than she had ever shown to any authority figure in her life. She mumbled something quietly before her eyes shifted to the gun.
Is this how they killed Rodney? The voice slid into her train of thought.
An almost indescribable rage filled the girl, something so primal and all consuming. Something snapped inside her as she felt the buzz start to spread throughout her body, a tingling sensation seeping into her very bones.
“What was that?” The officer snarled, leaning forward as he pressed the gun forward against her skin.
Bastard.
Beam turned to her sister and the officer, quickly walking over. “Oh nothing Offi-”
“I said-” Prism's eyes steeled, the buzzing in her head, her arms, her heart, her entire body humming so loud she thought the whole world could hear it. “Is that how you kill everyone here?”
It wasn’t a question.
It was a challenge.
“What the hell did you say?” The officer spat, a clicking sound from the gun telling Prism that a bullet was now in the barrel.
“With those fancy guns of yours?” She mused, dragging a finger along the underside of the gun’s muzzle. Miniscule sparks became a trail of where her finger traveled on the gun.
Cowards. Hiding behind a tool while they take a life.
“Pris.” Beam muttered quietly. A warning.
“Only if we want to make them extra painful.” He hissed, his eyes narrowing. “We just got new ones, tested them out on some kid. Blew the brains out of some red head. You wanna be next, girly?”
Red hair.
Rodney.
Some soldiers target practice.
Prism’s eyes met his as she clenched her fist, feeling devastated but most of all, absolutely livid. And then the buzzing stopped, the tingling in her body turning into a burning sensation as it all traveled to her fingertips. Specifically the fingertip resting against the Officer's weapon. The metal gun.
“See you in hell.”
Suddenly the burning, pure power surged out of her fingertip, the crackling and sizzling electricity traveling across the gun until it reached flesh. She heard the guard scream as he dropped the gun, falling to the ground as he twitched and thrashed. The rush was exhilarating as she felt more anger, more fury and despair, just waiting to be freed as the unpredictable, hissing charges of the formidable voltage.
“Pris!” Beam’s jaw dropped to the floor as both girls stared at the guard on the floor. They then remembered that there was another guard as tiny red sirens on the ceilings coated the room in red light and a loud blaring noise rang through the halls.
Beam didn’t hesitate, turning to the guard who had pulled the lever and grabbing his neck, sending her own powerful electric currents into his body before dropping him. Prism was frozen, staring at the body of the man she had electrocuted, maybe killed. He deserved it. The voice whispered.
“Pris, move! We have to go!” Beam cried, staring at her little sister as she shot more electricity into the door's keypad, frying it.
The young girl remained unmoving as the doors opened and the elder sister ran over to her, tossing Prism over her shoulder. She raced out the door, holding tightly to the younger girl, who could only think of what she had just done. I think I killed him. I killed someone.
They killed Rodney. Did you forget already?
A surge of guilt, shame and anger shot through her, guilt for overlooking that fact, shame for not thinking of it, and anger at the voice egging her on.
Stop it. I could never forget.
Seems like you did. The guard had it coming.
Killing makes me as bad as them.
They did this to you. They killed him, not you.
What?
The needle they gave you. It gave you this…power. If they didn’t give it to you, the guard wouldn’t have died. Then again, if you nor Rodney had come, neither of you would have been in danger.
The rage once again filled Prism, but something was different. It wasn’t just stronger, it was clear. Focused. Focused on the building they had just escaped from.
The electricity within her buzzed and snapped, seeping out and emanating from her skin, giving her body an electrical coating of sorts. “Prism, calm down, please.” Beam whispered, panting as she ran. “I know this new power is hard to get used to, but control it as much as you can. We’re so close to the second agent, Pris! Just hang in there,”
“Rodney should have been with us,” Prism mumbled, watching the building intently. The doors opened again, and twenty or so soldiers wearing masks and wielding guns ran out from the facility.
“I know, I wish he could have.” Her sister whispered, stumbling before setting her down, blinking when she saw the younger girl's aura of electricity. “Are you okay?”
The younger sister blinked back, laughing bitterly as several emotions crossed her face. Confusion, anger, sadness, hurt, fear, and finally desperation. “Do I look okay?” Prism cried, staring at her sister intently as tears welled in her eyes. “We’re being chased and hunted, I have new powers I can’t control, I just saw my best friend dead, cut open and being dissected, but of course! I’m just dandy!” Her words slowly became louder until it was a shout, the crackling and hissing of her electrical coating glowing brighter as well.
Hot tears ran down her cheeks as she glanced back at the soldiers on the planes of land below, looking for them. She just wanted to go home. Home to her father and Rodney, where they would have movie nights every Tuesday as they snacked on homemade tacos. Where she knew Rodney and herself would always fight over the last of the guacamole, allowing her father to swoop in while they were distracted and take it. The movie would probably be some cheesy, poorly made rom-com that her dad loved so much.
“Listen, Sparky, I get you’re upset, but we have to leave. Now.” The unfamiliar voice yanked Prism from her thoughts, her eyes darting to him. Beam quickly jumped in front of him. “This is the resistance friend I told you about, don’t do anything! CA, you might wanna step back. Her powers manifested prematurely and she can’t control them yet.”
The boy stepped back, moving back into Prism’s line of sight. He was a couple inches taller than her with a lean, athletic looking build with his broad shoulders and chest. He had a slightly pointed chin and nose, with a softer, more rounded jawline. His hair was dark, curly waves of black which contrasted with his shockingly silver eyes, which seemed to be examining her as well.
“Pris, this is CA, CA, this is Prism, my sister.” Beam introduced them both as she took the lead, guiding them down a path of trees. Prism followed behind her, CA matching her pace as he watched her from the corner of his eye.
“CA is my nickname. I’m afraid my real name is a bit of a mouthful.” He mumbled, his eyes shifting back to Beam as he followed, looking back behind them ever so often.
The younger girl sniffled, wiping away any surviving tears before looking at him. “What’s your full name?”
He chuckled softly, looking at her again with the hint of a smile on his lips. “Christopher-Alexander. My actual first name. Pretty long, huh?”
Prism nodded. “Sounds fancy.” She mused, glancing at her hand, where she noticed the electricity had died down. Oh.
It was a distraction.
He was subtly calming me down.
Smooth.
“I think Prism is fancier. Short and sweet.” He deducted, shooting her the smallest of smiles. She snorted quietly, shaking her head. “I’m afraid my mother had terrible taste in-”
BANG
A loud noise rang out through the air and Prism covered her ears to try and stop the ringing it left in its wake. She looked ahead and her heart stopped. A blonde figure laying on the ground. No-
Christopher-Alexander suddenly grabbed her, pulling her against him as he hid behind a tree, his breath quiet as his heart pounded rapidly in his chest.
As she trembled her eyes went back to the body. Red seeped out from her sister's head, staining her beautiful, blonde hair a shade of crimson. Her vision was focused solely on the bleeding body a few feet in front of her, giving Prism a clear picture of her elder sister, lying dead in a puddle of blood. “NO-”
Christopher-Alexander’s hand clamped over her mouth, his arm gently holding her tighter as she went limp in his arms.
“Prism, please don’t.” He whispered into her ear, close enough that she could hear the shakiness in his voice and quiet enough that she could hear his heart pounding quickly behind her. Prism could only stare at her dead sister blankly, trembling as tears rained down her cheeks. Her sobs were muffled by her companion's hand, which shifted to turn her head towards him. He quietly pulled her closer, hugging her to his chest which muffled her sobs. The girl leaned into the warmth of his arms, trying to control the electricity that surrounded her body so it wouldn’t hurt him.
Suddenly, the sound of boots hitting the ground approached quickly and Prism did her best to quiet her cries, resorting to holding her breath. Christopher-Alexander hugged her an almost unnoticeable amount closer, but with all the trees and brush around them Prism would be surprised if they were noticed.
She turned her head slightly to the side so she could watch her sister, her heart seizing in her chest when she saw the stillness of her only sibling. Beam had always moved with a sort of stride, a purposeful energy. Prism could only remember one other time where she had seen her sister this still.
A five year old Prism quietly tiptoed to her mothers room, peeking in the doorway at her sickly sister, who was eleven at the time. Laying in Mother and Fathers bed was restricted strictly for only when someone was sick.
Beam had been sick for days now, constantly napping and coughing up blood whenever she was awake. She could barely keep any food or water down without throwing it back up hours later.
Her mother lay in bed with her ill older sister, gently stroking her daughter's short brown hair. She noticed the peeping eyes of her youngest, chuckling softly before gesturing for her to come over. Prism scurried over to the bed, quietly climbing under the covers, sandwiching the unconscious Beam between herself and her mother.
“What brings you here, darling?” Her mother asked Prism, her voice soothing the little girl's mind.
“I was worried.” She whispered in response, her big eyes shifting to her sisters still form. “You don’t need to worry, honey. That’s Mommies job. Big sister will be just fine.” Her mother, Belladonna, soothed. The girl’s father was away at work, having to work longer hours to afford medicine for Beam. While he was gone their mother tended to their girl, making sure she had everything she needed. That was the only night that Belladonna had let a non-sick daughter sleep in her bed.
Late into the night she stood by the bed, watching her two sleeping daughters snuggled together. She brushed the hair out of Prism’s eyes, planting a kiss on her forehead before planting another kiss on Beam’s nose. “Mama….” Prism shifted as her eyes opened slightly, watching her mother. “Go back to sleep, dear.” Her mother soothed, turning away as she grabbed a bag. “Where are you going?” Her youngest daughter whispered, watching her. “Nowhere, Prism. Go back to sleep please.” Belladonna answered, swinging the bag over her shoulder. “Mama,” Prism called out again.
Hiding her irritation, Belladonna turned back to face her. “What?”
“I love you.” Her tiny daughter mumbled, closing her eyes, sinking back into sleep after a moment. Tears welled in her mother’s eyes as she stared at her two precious, sleeping daughters. “I love you too.” She whispered almost inaudibly before she left.
It had been the last time she’d seen her Mother, and seeing her sister still again made her want to vomit. For Beam Denise Hars was never still. She felt anger run through her like a zap of lightning as she watched a few guards approach her beautiful sister's corpse.
“A shame she had to die.” One of the guards mumbled. Prism felt Christopher-Alexander suck in a breath and stiffen when he heard the voice. Though she didn’t know why he reacted that way, she slipped her hand into his, squeezing it gently to return even a fraction of comfort that he gave her. He held onto her hand tightly, dipping his head to whisper into her ear. “We’re going to quietly move away from them.”
Prism’s eyes filled with despair, meeting his silver eyes for a moment before shifting her own back to her sister's body. The guards were prodding and poking her, testing to see if she was still alive. “We can’t risk taking the body. I’m sorry.” He whispered again, so close she could feel his breath on her neck.
Prism could no longer contain the warm, salty tears she had been holding back from falling.
This was her last goodbye to her sister.
She nodded slightly, trembling as she watched the guards talk among themselves as one of them picked up Beam’s body roughly. Prism wanted to scream at them to be careful with her sister, well she just wanted to scream at them in general.
She pushed it down though, whispering an almost inaudible “goodbye,” before she started turning away, covering her mouth to quiet her crying.
Christopher-Alexander gently squeezed her hand, looking back at her sympathetically before looking back ahead and leading her away from the guards.
However, they both stopped when they heard the words the guard carrying Beam uttered. “Guess we got more special snacks for the dogs tonight, am I right?” The officer laughed as whatever restraint Prism had disappeared.
“WHAT?!”
A soft, still darkness embraced Prism. The first sense of peace she had experienced since the events of the past day. She focused on her breath, in and out, in and out. The quiet and tranquility was like a glass of fresh water, easing her mind to silence. No muttering from the voice in her head, no planning on how to ace a test, no pain, and no memories.
Though how much time alone is good?
Her mind shifted into autopilot, skimming through the events of the past day. She had lost two of the most precious people in her life. She had lost her first precious person before the other two. The moment she stepped out of her former home, waving goodbye to her Father, she knew she would never see him again. So what did that make her?
Because she felt alone.
Prism slowly opened her eyes, quietly taking in her surroundings, wincing at a pain in her head.
She curled and uncurled her fingers, feeling the silky sheets below her, and the weight of a warm comforter on top of her. Her head rested on a fluffy pillow and at some point she had been changed into soft sleepwear.
The ceiling above her was a beige, with a single silver chandelier hanging above her, glimmering and sparkling. Prism slowly sat up, glancing around the room. It wasn’t very big, about the size of her old dorm room. There was a white framed window on the right wall with flowy drapes, and a mahogany dresser against the wall across from her. It had a vase on top of it and a silver lined mirror hanging on the wall above the dresser.
A dark brown nightstand with a small, white dainty lamp on top was to the left of her bed, and a single framed picture of a woman holding a cross was on her left wall.
The room had an old, airy and light vintage feel to it, unlike any place Prism had been in before. She slid to the right side of her bed, watching the breeze dance with the curtains as she slowly stepped down from her bed. As soon as her foot stepped down she felt the warmth of skin and she quickly pulled her foot back on the bed, peering over at what she had stepped on.
The boy from yesterday, Christopher-Alexander, lay on the ground next to her bed, sleeping.
He was adorned in only sweatpants, and though he wasn’t wearing a shirt, the bandages wrapped around the almost entirety of his torso served the same purpose. Prism hugged her knees to her chest, peering down at him. She wasn’t sure what to do in this situation, as she had never been in one similar.
In the end she decided to leave him be, scooting to the left side of the bed and checking before quietly sliding off the mattress.
Without the blankets the room was chillier and she couldn’t help but shiver. She saw Christopher-Alexander out of the corner of her as he lay on the floor, who was probably very cold she realized.
Prism grabbed the comforter, trying to gently and quietly set it on him without waking him up.
He thankfully stayed asleep and she strode over to the window, for as much as she loved the breeze it made the room feel like a refrigerator. She leaned forward, out of the window as she grabbed doors of the windowpane and tried to shut them quietly. Unfortunately, the window didnt feel the same sentiment of silence, creaking quite loudly as Prism tried to quickly shut them.
She heard a groan from Christopher-Alexander, but he seemed to still be asleep, so she continued wandering around her room. Her next stop was the vintage mahogany dresser. She quietly opened the drawer, inspecting the contents inside.
It contained a second set of pajamas, a sleek, black bodysuit, two t-shirts and two pairs of shorts.
The second drawer was empty, so Prism assumed the first drawer was the only drawer that contained anything.
Her eyes trailed up the dresser until they landed on the vase on top. It was white with intricate sapphire blue designs adorning it. She gingerly picked it up and peeked inside, realizing it was filled with water. Do I just drink out of it or..?
“Morning,” Christopher-Alexander greeted from behind her, making Prism jump slightly, head whipping around to make sure it was him.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” He mumbled, meeting her eyes before glancing at the vase she still clutched in her hand. “There are cups in the third drawer.”
Her cheeks burned as she realized that was the one drawer she hadn’t checked. “Ah- thanks. And good morning.” She stared down into the vase, blinking rapidly as she saw the water rising inside of it.
“No problem. Thanks for the blanket, Sparky.” He chuckled softly at her reaction as she watched the water blob float out of the vase. She set the now empty vase back on the drawer, watching the water float in the air. “Is that your power?” She whispered, awestruck as a small amount of water separated, forming its own baby blob.
“Mhm,” He nodded, opening his mouth to receive the water. Prism caught his fingers subtly flicking towards him and the smaller water blob floated into his mouth. She quickly looked away as he swallowed, taking out a cup for herself from the third drawer she had previously neglected.
She glanced at the water and a small blob of her own floated to her, plopping into her cup. A small smile peeked out from the corner of Prism’s lips as she nodded to Christopher-Alexander in thanks, sipping the water.
“So…. what's the last thing you remember from yesterday?” Christopher-Alexander asked carefully, watching her with a mix of concern and determination.
“I…..” Memories from the day before flooded into Prism’s mind and she gripped her cup tighter, remembering who all she lost that day. “The farthest I remember is that ... .that awful guard saying he’d feed Beam to his dogs..” The words came out far more bitter than she meant them to, but it accurately portrayed how she felt.
“Ah.” Christopher-Alexander nodded, running a hair through his ebony hair. “Well, when he said that, you kinda went berserk- rightfully so, but still. Your powers were going crazy and you shouted at them, and nearly blew our cover. I…erm…had to knock you out so we weren’t caught. And then we escaped.” The more he spoke the quieter he got, seeming to be reliving the memories he spoke of.
“..What about Beam’s body?” Prism asked softly, staring down at her water cup. A silence of confirmation hung in the air for a beat before her companion spoke again. “I’m sorry.” He whispered finally, watching her nervously.
Prism shook her head, sighing before meeting his eyes. “As….as much as I wish we could’ve taken her body, I…I knew it was a long shot.” Her voice cracked midway through, her voice full of emotion she was trying to hold back.
Just because she understood why they didn’t take the body, didn’t mean she had come to terms with it.
Anger, regret, despair and shame swirled in her stomach as she wondered if her sister, her beautiful, incredible older sister had really turned to dog food.
“That doesn’t make it hurt less.” Christopher-Alexander mumbled softly, biting his lip, his eyes slowly meeting hers.
Prism could only nod, scared that if she opened her trembling lips the waterworks would break loose. Sparks danced along her skin, crackling and hissing quietly as it ran down her flesh.
“Uh….do you want to be alone?” He asked tentatively, watching her with concern.
Prism nodded silently, she didn't want him to see her cry again. He nodded as well, putting the rest of the water back into the vase before exiting.
“Thank you.” Prism said suddenly before Christopher-Alexander had completely shut the door. “For getting me out of there. For everything.”
He peeked in, giving her a soft smile she couldn’t see because she was turned away from him. “No problem. And…..if you need to talk, I’m here.” He murmured, quietly shutting the door.
As soon as Prism heard the click of the door she fell to her knees, hugging herself tightly as tears flooded down her cheeks, sobs wracking through her body. Electricity crackled and zipped around her, encasing her like a shield as she fell onto her side, weeping quietly.
Through all of her hurt, she knew one thing for sure.
They will pay.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hi there
Let's jump right in!
I debated pulling actual quotes as I read but I think when it comes to the nitpicky side I'll just touch on a few things that stood out. When using ellipses it's best to just use 3 at a time; anymore and it starts looking a bit sloppy in my eyes. Secondly, in the quick flashback to Beam being in bed as a child, you go between capitalizing Mother and Father, and said Mommies instead of Mommy's at one point.
Other than that I only noticed a few minor nitpick grammar things that don't really matter until you come back to to edit it more thoroughly, so I didn't bother to point them out.
Onto the plot itself - starting out in the thick of things is a good way to go typically, and I think it's no different here. I like that because Prism is a bit lost and confused it works for us to be lost and confused as the reader as well. The bit about the resistance intrigued me.
I have some qualms with the guards. They reached pretty horrific levels of villainy VERY fast, especially with how little personal interest they probably have in any of the test subjects in this lab. I'm all for irredeemable but bad guys but it was near-shock-for-shock-value evil. Shooting someone in the head is dark, but feeding people to dogs is certainly a degree past what many people would be comfortable with.
I really didn't like the cut from "feed her to the dogs" to her being in bed and it being so tranquil. She seemed far too calm when she woke up, taking time to look around at her surroundings and *didn't* wake up CA despite him trying to stop her. And for that matter, it felt like she gave in way too easily to leave her sister's body for scraps. I would be irate at CA that he did that, logic and reason be damned.
I did like Prism and Beam for what little we got to see them together. Something about a sister dynamic gets to me quite quickly. Prism's powers are exciting and fun to read on the page; I love some good lightning action. I'm curious what that voice is that is speaking to her which is clearly not just her own internal thoughts but perhaps a side-effect of the tests done on her, or potentially a sign of her fracturing psyche. It all gives very heavy Arcane Vibes in those respects.
As far as it being a prologue... I don't think this is one. After reading this my assumption would be that we follow Prism's POV for the rest of the book, maybe splitting it with CA's, but in that case this should just be chapter 1. Prologues are typically reserved for information and POV's that we don't otherwise get in the story, such as backstory or something to build the tension that our protagonists won't know about for a long time. The cool part is that if you decide to get rid of the prologue title that's all the work that needs to be done, which is nice and easy.
Overall, I did like this! I am sure Prism will have some epic rage and revenge moments, and CA will get to use his cool water powers. Plus, finding out what the resistance is, WHAT it's resisting, the magic in the world etc. is all engaging and a good hook.
Hope this helps,
~ Messy
Hey Bean!

I found time to finally read this and decided to leave you a review! I had a great time reading this and will absolutely read the other chapters that go along with this! I'm excited to see how it will all play out
Straight off the bat, I love how you threw the characters right into action, giving a captivating first scene that instantly grabs attention. Keeping this scene going, I also love that you included spots for bits on the world, past experiences, and explanations while still keeping it fast paced to go along with the actions. Prism's thoughts as well throughout the prologue really help get a feel for her character and give a deeper meaning to the scenes beside simply blind action. Diving deeper into Prism's character, you did such a good job of displaying her emotions and aspects with flashbacks and her thoughts. I can see her beginning a character arc already with the loss of the people she loved. The poor girl went through so much in such a short time frame but I can tell that she will become very strong and powerful because of it. I can tell CA as well will definately go through some character changes with the loss of Beam. He and Beam seemed close with how he reacted to her death but I'm glad he and Prism at least have each other to try and get through the grief of losing her, I can tell Prism is going to need it and he seems like just the right person for the job. Also he has powers!! I didn't expect him to have powers at first so that surprised me! I'm really excited to see where this now duo will go with one appearing to be bent on vengence (rightfully so) for now!
Getting into a bit more of a technical aspect, I have just one critique which is a bit more of a typo then anything and more praise! I love how you used italics AND bold to display her thoughts with her regular ones being regular while the more dominearing ones being in bold. It really shows how much louder they are then the other thoughts with how they catch the eye as soon as you get to that part. I enjoy how you used the italics as well to show the flashback so it didn't accidentally get confused with the rest of the passage and action either. The one critique I have is right here:
It appears that you maybe left an extra space here, cutting off the sentence to be put on a different line. Easy fix though so don't worry too much about it!
In conclusion, this was exhilerating to read! There was so much action, loss, and raw emotions that I'm excited to see where Prism and CA will go from here, what they will do, and how they'll develop throughout the story!
I hope this helped and gave you a good view on an outside perspective of your story! It was absolutely amazing to read!
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'll be sure to fix the spacing as well!