The dimple on your cheek always makes me smile
If only you knew how I felt about you-
Look my way and give me a chance, I would make it so worthwhile
Your personality brightens everyone's day
I wish I could be a part of it-
You are short and sweet and just perfect, okay?
There I said it, now please don't break my heart and look me in the eye
See my love for you? Don't crush it, embrace it wholeheartedly
You are as beautiful as the sun setting in the day's dying sky
Your eyes are the color of sweet summer grass
I might not be the one, but I would like to be
I'm not that one guy who would touch your a**
Come on, let's go! I have a new car
You may not like me, but if you're with me I will make you a star
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Hi there, Gaurav here for a review.
I am going to repeat the same things that I did, when I reviewed your previous poem. You are giving no chance to your reviewers to point out any flaws! Have some mercy on us
Standing ovation to your poem. Shedding away the clichéd idea of 'A boy loves a girl but she doesn't love him' you have presented your poem in a very loveable manner. This is a genre which I strive for! It's a feel-good poem, and your protagonist has a loveable personality.
What I liked about your poem, is the effortless narration.
Outstanding line, to start your poem! It brought a smile to my face. It feels so nice to read a poem full of optimism. The great thing is, it's not at all preachy. Frankly, I don't care if there are two or three spelling mistakes, grammar errors or anything, if it makes me happy. (Don't worry, your poem doesn't have any errors
I am glad, I read it early morning. My day will pass happily. Great job!
Spoiler
Oh thanks so much! Are they really that good? I can't believe it! You know what's funny...I thought of this because last week I got a note in my locker from a boy who liked me. So I just had to write it! LOL. Btw, I'm going to post another poem in a few.
I loved it, because you avoided the cliched characters like 'A mean girl', who's emotionless about this guy and a 'bad boy' who follows his girl to seek her attention. On the other hand, it was a loveable poem which was filled with optimism. [I am also amazed by your inspiration. Hope you meet that guy one day
]
I hope so, too. Lol
. The other poem was published btw if you would like to read it.
I wish I could give your review ten million likes.......
Will surely review your poem (I just read it, and it's awesome as well. The problem, I feel is I am not doing any value addition to your poem. Rather I am just praising it.)
oh no....I'm not looking for praise at all. I just wanted to know if there were any errors or if there was anything I should change. Sorry if you thought I wanted praise for my work. It's nice for someone to praise it, but that's not want I wanted. Sorry if you felt that way.
It's not your mistake. Even the poem on alarm clock looks flawless to me. I never give sugar-coated reviews (If you check my reviews, they are harsh at times) but I find your poems amazing! I can't critique it because I really like it.
aww thx........I never really knew I was good at writing poems. I thought I always sucked at writing them. That's why I stopped b4.
Your poem is very sweet and adorable. I feel that it definitely expresses the hope and the fear of telling someone you like them. It got a little sappy at times ("you are as beautiful as the sun setting in the day's dying sky," and "your eyes are the color of sweet summer grass"), but that's pretty appropriate, given the subject. Sometimes the rhythm sounds choppy to me, you could work on that some. But overall, a well-written, cute poem! Keep it up!
lol thx!!! and yes I will work on the choppiness of the poem.....might make it better.
First, let me tell you that I find that this poem is great. It explains how it feels like to have a crush, and be too afraid to tell him/her. I myself have a crush and this poem is basically how I feel. The only thing I was confused about was the ending: do you mean that you'd pay him/her to like you?
Otherwise amazing poetry, keep up the good work!
Thank you sooo much!!! I used to do a lot of poetry when I was younger, but stopped. I'm so glad I started it up again! I changed the ending, though. It means that if the girl is with him, he'll take care of her and love her like she's the greatest thing in the world.
Hi!
First off let me say your work is very nice! You should always be proud of your work, and if not, reflect on it so you can make it even better.
I enjoyed the rhyming in the poem and how it flowed. It's important when using certain figurative devices to make them subtle instead of sticking out like a sore thumb.
Might I suggest though, that you break the poem into stanzas? By breaking up each rhyming part, the reader can take a breath, instead of seeing the poem as a huge run-on sentence with some punctuation thrown in.
This could also help so that you no longer have to use "-" in order to signify a new idea. It's important to make it apparent to your reader that a new thought it occurring.
Overall, a very good job! This poem is very sweet and I hope to see more from you in the future!
Thank you very much! I also don't know how to break it up into stanzas when I edit it.....help? You will also see more of my works soon. Thanks again. I might post again today!
No problem! You can usually just press enter a second time to make a new stanza, but if not, there is a coding option that looks like "<>" in the editor. There you can put
</p>
<p>
To insert a stanza.
Hope that helps but if not message me!
thx!!!
thx!!!