Hello!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
I enjoyed reading this poem! I liked how smoothly the words flowed from beginning to end and how perfectly it captured the poem, with each line representing a cascade of thoughts that ties to the ending. I am not really experienced at reviewing poetry, so I will only leave my general thoughts here, and hopefully some of them will come to your use!
Something stirring deep within
Calling forth desire
I genuinely enjoyed reading the poem. However, this starting line seemed a little out of place to me. The poem starting with "something stirring deep within" makes it feel a little weird for me, as if you missed a couple of lines and started with this one instead. I think if you restructure the sentence a little, it will fit better in the context of the poem. Otherwise, it does tend to stick out for me.
And beyond
Beyond
This repetition seemed a little unnecessary to me. It does not add anything to the poem nor does it create some kind of a great poetic effect. Instead, for me it just created this gap in the poem that prevented me from moving on to the next line. So, unless it serves some other purpose that I am oblivious to, the repetition disrupts the flow of the poem and creates a kind of a roadblock for the readers.
Another thing you should probably work on is the punctuation. You have got such a lovely poem here, but it feels a little incomplete because of the absolute lack of appropriate punctuation. I believe punctuations are the accessories of poems and they serve to complement those little things that make a poem truly special and personal. This is a really informative article on how, when and where to use the correct punctuations. Its a really useful article and I think you will benefit from it!
That's all!
Keep writing and have a great day!
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