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140,764 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
Hello,
This is LUNARGIRL leaving a review!
I loved this poem, every stanza felt like it was from someone else's viewpoint. They all are so deep and filled with pain so deep that it feels like the person is drowning in it.
The line, "I wonder what is left of me. How much longer I have. I wonder what to do with that time. If I should even bother trying."
The repetition of using the word wonder, it's like the person doesn't know how to move on after they have done all these things, committed all these acts. The person questions themselves and their choices, even in the end.
The ending was so powerful as the person reflects. "It has happened. I am tainted. And I do my best to live."
It's like the person is now struggling to stay alive after all these events happened.
This stanza towards the end is so emotional and touches my heart, because it is so true. "no matter how many wounds I bandage, the damage remains."
This stanza towards the middle is so true, and how you list all this with so much description is so deep. Especially in the end where "Trust will always be the death of me." Just explains it so well in so few words.
"I had learned how to forget, a wound scabbed over, a scar added to the collection, stories untold, things not talked about, written about, thought about - torn open like stitches, with definitive pops, undoing me from the inside out, horror lined with new betrayal - trust will always be the death of me, after all. A hard lesson learned."
The ending is amazing, it is so powerful, important, and true for the person. That trust will always be his death. That, and that he experiences all this, and you are able to summarize this in four words, makes it so deep and emotional. A lesson that the reader will take away from the poem.
Amazing job on the poem!
Can't wait to read what you write next!
Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL
Hello there, Squid!!
This is Eros here with a review for you!!
This poem is so deep... I really loved the way you have written it. Each stanza revealing the plight of a person who is in a deep pain.
I really loved the words you have used like,bird-heart, tainted etc... it describes the emotions so well.
It tells about the endless number of cuts and wounds that have been made... true every cut has an untold story and that is described so well by the stanza:
"I had learned how to forget, a wound scabbed over,
a scar added to the collection, stories untold,
things not talked about, written about..."
And also, the stanza at the end,
"no matter how many wounds I bandage, the damage remains." This line touched my heart. It's so true.
I really loved how the poem ended with the last line, that clearly screams the struggle to stay alive, even though so much has happened in life... And it is because of self harm that we are alive, like, since i am a cutter myself which is the biggest secret of my life...and although i have been clean since manyy a days now, things are kinda alright because of a few trusted friends and all, whatever.
The line in the middle of the poem shows how you tried to find a true love, but never found it.
The poem was really very deep, I really really really loved the poem, the structure of it, the construction, the flow, the meaning, the choice of set of the words, the phrases, the sentences, everything was superb.
Keep writing!
because we love to keep reading and reviewing!!
Have a nice day!
With love,
From Eros.❤❤❤