The Door to Heaven

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This is unusual for me to write something like this, but I wanted to do something a little different. This is what I do in boredom! If there is any grammer or spelling mistakes, let me know!

There is a knocking, a tapping,
someone eager to get in the door.
Open it, see them,
let them knock no more.

There is a singing, a mourning,
Someone sad to pass the door.
Open it, hear them,
Let them mourn no more.

There is a crying, a screaming,
A pain to step through the door.
Open it, feel them,
Let them scream no more.

There is a person fearing, wondering,
Someone scared to pass the door.
Open it, tell them,
Let them fear no more.

Comments & reviews · 6
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Razcoon
Review
Razcoon wrote a review · Sun Mar 27, 2011 3:24 am

Hiya!

I was surprised at how much I liked this. Like Snoink, I didn't actually read the title before clicking, half because I just linked myself elsewhere so I'd remember to review, but either way I very much enjoyed this, especially verse one. You just know that person committed suicide. x3 *likes*

>>Annie<<

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ForsakenAngel
Comment

Sorry about that, fixed it! It was a typo.

~Forsakinshadow~

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CountrywriteR Comment

I liked this it was really great but when you wrote it and you put "Let then mourn no more." i love the way you stated it but is it supposed to be "Let then mourn no more" or "Let them mourn no more"?:)

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Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review · Fri Mar 25, 2011 4:14 am

Hello! :D

I didn't see the title first, so when I read it, I was like, "OMG, IS SHE TALKING ABOUT HEAVEN? I BET SHE IS." Then I looked up at the title, and BAM. It made me really happy! So yay for you! :D

My only slight hitch (which is of the nitpicky variety) is that the introductory stanza sounds like it's a suicide or something because they're eager to get in, whereas the ones below are more typical of actual physical death.

Still, I liked it very much. :D

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kikialicia31
Review

Hey there and wow!

This is great! I like the way you write it and I think you should write more. The way you write it makes the reader and me could imagine how the situation is. This is different than all the other poems I have read. Most poems are romantic, but this is a one in a million.

All of all, I really liked it.

Good luck and keep writing,

Alicia.



Who knew Kansas City had its own branch of the Yakuza?
— Jason Sudeikis