This is unusual for me to write something like this, but I wanted to do something a little different. This is what I do in boredom! If there is any grammer or spelling mistakes, let me know!
There is a knocking, a tapping,
someone eager to get in the door.
Open it, see them,
let them knock no more.
There is a singing, a mourning,
Someone sad to pass the door.
Open it, hear them,
Let them mourn no more.
There is a crying, a screaming,
A pain to step through the door.
Open it, feel them,
Let them scream no more.
There is a person fearing, wondering,
Someone scared to pass the door.
Open it, tell them,
Let them fear no more.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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140,637 Literary Works • 673,574 Reviews
Hiya!
I was surprised at how much I liked this. Like Snoink, I didn't actually read the title before clicking, half because I just linked myself elsewhere so I'd remember to review, but either way I very much enjoyed this, especially verse one. You just know that person committed suicide. x3 *likes*
>>Annie<<
Sorry about that, fixed it! It was a typo.
~Forsakinshadow~
I liked this it was really great but when you wrote it and you put "Let then mourn no more." i love the way you stated it but is it supposed to be "Let then mourn no more" or "Let them mourn no more"?:)
Hello!
I didn't see the title first, so when I read it, I was like, "OMG, IS SHE TALKING ABOUT HEAVEN? I BET SHE IS." Then I looked up at the title, and BAM. It made me really happy! So yay for you!
My only slight hitch (which is of the nitpicky variety) is that the introductory stanza sounds like it's a suicide or something because they're eager to get in, whereas the ones below are more typical of actual physical death.
Still, I liked it very much.
Hey there and wow!
This is great! I like the way you write it and I think you should write more. The way you write it makes the reader and me could imagine how the situation is. This is different than all the other poems I have read. Most poems are romantic, but this is a one in a million.
All of all, I really liked it.
Good luck and keep writing,
Alicia.