To See The Sky

This is pretty interesting o;

I liked how you began your poem with two bland words.

"A forest."

Already giving us an insight of what is next to come but not nearly hinting at how intricate this simple forest really is. Your form of writing makes me think of key hole, you know what I mean? Someone sees it and it looks so small and since it's an everyday thing, just seeing it makes the person automatically underestimate it's value. But once they get closer to peer in, so many things are exposed that it's unbelievable.
I noticed that your sentences gradually grew longer and longer in length and more and more details were added as I read along.
Now something I really admired was the way you took the time to stop and give life to the trees.

"Trees; some tall and swaying in the wind, bending to the atmosphere. Others, strong and sturdy, invincible to their climate. They loomed above and around her, as if peering at her vulnerability. Or perhaps some were intimidated by her intricacy."

You even personified them!! I found that flawlessly executed because you put forth so much imagery just just a few words, yet protected their simplicity at the same time (if that makes any sense).
The whole poem felt like a journey through this menacing yet welcoming picture and I must say that I am quite baffled at your writing skills. There is nothing I can give you in critique. This poem was amazing.

Write on, Love!!

Hey, Chips here with a review.

You have a great use of imagery in your poem, and interesting metaphors. I really liked the way you expressed yourself, it created an air of enchantment and perhaps a freedom of some kind. This almost felt like a description of a painting, it also read like an opening paragraph in a story as oppose to a poem but regardless, great job on that.

I have a nitpick with the formatting, I think it would appear to flow more had it been written in stanzas. It would also be a bit easier to read and follow accordingly.

I've spotted a few grammatical errors in your work, but they can be easily corrected.
You've got quite a lot of line breaks and too many semi-colons.
You tend to use the word, "some" a lot too, so varying your words could be a point of improvement.

"A forest. That's where she was. A dense seclusion made of various growths."

Here, the phrasing could be altered as they all seem to be a part of the same sentence. Maybe *She was in a forest, which was a dense seclusion made of various growths* - something along those lines.

"Trees; some tall and swaying in the wind, bending to the atmosphere."
Here, I think "bending *into* the atmosphere" seems to flow more.

"They loomed above and around her, as if peering at her vulnerability."
Great line here, I liked the slight personification of the trees here.

"She wouldn't blame them; she was baffled herself."
I thought a comma would fit here, as oppose to a semi-colon.

"The sky reaching down from heaven, soothed her lost soul. "

Here, it would be even better if you put the word, "and" where the comma is so it flows more.

Overall well done, I hope this review was of help to you. Keep writing!

--Chips

Great poem/short story!

I really like the imagery you've painted here. Even in such a short paragraph, you've given the poem (and I must say, it does feel like a poem) mystery and intricacy.

Your writing style reminds me, in a way, of my own. I feel drawn to this picture you've painted in the poem, because I see myself there. A very beautiful piece. Good job.

You seem to have little to no grammatical errors in your work, either. It always makes me happy to find a fellow writer who respects grammar and her rules, but also likes to play around with her here and there. I like what you've done, and the different sentence structures spread throughout the piece really work together nicely.

In summary, I like this A LOT. Keep up the great work!