Tired of the AI hype? Tired of your AI getting dumber? Tired of the threat of AI taking over the world? Well boy do we have the thing here for you there american consumer! H-I stands for Human Intelligence the most highly advanced technology of the 21th century!
Now viewer at home your probably asking, how does this beautiful little HI buddy work? Well, with this handy dandy piece of paper we can show you! You write something down on this sheet of paper. Let's ask the H-I "How's the weather?" I've written it down now see? Now you go to this window here and hmmm, it looks sunny and then you go back to your paper and your H-I will write what it saw! Hmm, sunny with a chance of rain in the evening. You can ask it even harder questions like "How do you say hello in Spanish?" and then all you have to do is go to a library, find a book on the Spanish Language and then go back to your sheet of paper and your H-I will write down the answer!
H-I can even do all that creative stuff too, look. This boy is bored. He turns on H-I and finds it's beautiful outside so he goes out and plays with his two friends: no longer bored!
H-I can also do chores. Watch: this lady's house is dirty. She can't clean it so she turns on the H-I. She gets some rags and water and in only a few minutes later, the H-I has made her home sparking clean!
Your now asking "How do I fuel this amazing technology? Surely it uses more water than those data centers." well actually no! One H-I only needs some food and drink which we all have on handy! First you get the food and drink you want and then you feed your H-I! It's as easy as that.
TO ORDER H-I FUEL AND PAPER CALL 912-389-97897 TO GET YOUR OVERPRICED PAPER AND FOOD NOW!
The future is now and the future is H-I.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,736 Reviews
This is pretty dang good! This made me laugh out loud and my family thinks I'm nuts. This is such a true thing! Really well written too!
This made me laugh! Nicely written! Thanks!
LMAO. I thought H-I was a real Ai until I read everything else on this page. Gosh I was surprised to see it was all you just doing it. You made it sound like you were a real businessperson. Well done can't wait to read more of your work.
Hi, Mei-Nova here! This is genuinely hilarious. And what's more, it's true. I love the way you've written it, like it's one of those adverts for overpriced stuff we don't actually need, but we actually do need Human Intelligence. That's juxtaposition right there. The rhetorical questions at the start? Perfect. The humor is great, the writing style is great, everything is great (obviously, except for AI). I think my favourite line is the last one, because it sounds like something an AI company would put in an advert. I love it, and I feel like I have no more words to say about this, other than just repeated praise because this is amazing. Have a great day!
Thanks!
Hai :3
This is SUCH a funny concept!! I love how it takes the whole AI panic/AI hype cycle and turns it into this absurd infomercial for literally just being a person. The premise is simple, but it works because the voice is so aggressively commercialized and cheerful while the actual “product” is just basic human effort, curiosity, and observation ~~ That contrast is where the piece really shines!! It feels like a parody of tech marketing, but also of consumer culture in general: taking something ordinary, renaming it, branding it, and selling it back to people as revolutionary. Loooove that!!
This opening is great, too, because it immediately establishes the joke. The phrase “Human Intelligence” sounds so obvious, but when framed like a tech product, it becomes silly in the best way. “21th century” also has this infomercial-scam energy to it, whether intentional or not!! It makes the narrator feel slightly incompetent, which honestly helps the piece. Like, this is not a polished Apple keynote; this is a weird late-night commercial selling overpriced paper and food. That tone is perfect and really absurdist in a way!!
This really nails the voice!! It has that direct-to-camera cheesiness, and I love “beautiful little HI buddy” because it makes the “product” feel weirdly mascot-like. The whole explanation with the paper and window is so funny because it’s basically describing perception and writing as if they’re miraculous technological processes. That’s the core satire, and it’s super effective.
^^^ I do think some of the grammar mistakes should be fixed: “your” instead of “you’re,” “21th,” “go to to,” and “sparking clean” do create this scrappy feeling, but if every mistake is accidental-looking, the reader may not know whether the roughness is part of the style. Maybe lean into it more deliberately if you want it to feel intentional? Like, make the narrator consistently overconfident and slightly wrong, so the errors feel like characterization rather than proofreading issues.
This is so charmingly absurd, like I was saying!! The “creative stuff” example not being art or poetry, but literally going outside and playing, is really funny. It also widens the satire: AI is marketed as a creativity machine, but human creativity is also boredom, movement, weather, friends, and being alive. That’s a surprisingly wholesome turn!! The piece has this goofy commercial voice, but it’s carrying a real point ~~ I haven't thought so deeply about AI in an artistic way like this!!
!!!! HAHA
This brings the satire back to current AI criticism in a really direct way, and I think it works. The environmental jab is quick and clean, and then the answer being “food and drink” is wonderfully stupid. It’s obvious, but that’s the point!! The whole piece keeps revealing normal human life as if it’s advanced machinery, and that repetition gets funnier as it goes.
^^^ My biggest suggestion would be to sharpen the formatting and rhythm so it sounds even more like a commercial script. You already have the voice, but I could imagine this becoming stronger with stage directions, fake audience reactions, or announcer beats. Like some kind of heightened pacing that could make the piece feel even more performable. Right now it’s funny on the page, but I want to see it exist as something beyond that!! Have you thought about expanding this into a story, or something of that nature? Food for thought!!
Overall, this is such a fun satire!! It’s goofy, clever, and I love how it mocks AI marketing without becoming too heavy-handed. Happy Review Day!! ^_^
- Payton
Thank you! I just had a random idea one day and this popped into my head! Thanks for your all your suggestions too!!