My sword is a pen,
hastily scribbling out notes.
I slay no beasts, except those
who whisper of my slipping grades.
My dragon is a teacher,
screaming at would-be knights.
I watch as they jostle to be the bravest
and boast of their supposed might.
My magic is a schedule,
guiding me through revision.
I cast spells of sleepless nights
and mornings spent reading through summaries.
My war is exam week,
time my greatest foe.
I duck my head down as I write
and avoid the invigilators.
My victory is a pass,
letters above C my seal.
I cheer as I realise my future is secure
and mourn my fallen allies.
My Camelot is the schoolyard,
where I grew up.
Here I learnt how to fight,
how to apply knowledge to meaningless subjects.
My Albion is not Arthur's,
is not magic.
I have no King to rule over me,
only a headteacher to enforce broken rules.
A time of myth and magic and war is not mine.
A time of studying and revising and panicking is.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey EverySecond,
First Impressions: Thought the poem was quite nice, with a very original twist and some great connections to the fantastical side of life, something we always are seeking for.
Positives: I love how this is a very personal expression, but has been extended to the rest of the world. You've successfully pandered to every young child's heart by bringing up something that we all do, essentially, daydreaming about a "funner" life, and being less than satisfied with the dull reality. To be honest, it says to me that I was a normal kid.
I really liked these two lines because, after all, this is what school is like. Am I right? It's just a big mosh pit filled with a bunch of egotistical people with hormones and puberty problems. Lol, it's so funny I'm laughing right now. Your poem hits that on the head.
Negatives: [/quote]A time of myth and magic and war is not mine.
A time of studying and revising and panicking is.[/quote]
I thought the poem was going just perfectly, but right here at the end it takes a little dip in quality. The last line just sort of kills it a little, mostly because it's all magical and mystic, and then it drabs into a word like "studying" and "revising" and "panicking." To be honest, I personally would consider just taking the line out and leaving it on the more epic note.
Overall: Good piece. Thanks for sharing that with the rest of us!
I give it:
Haha, I love this! I love the idea of school being a battle and only some get through it. You are a very clever writer and know how to connect with the reader. I loved it when you said that you don't slay beasts but those who whisper about you slipping grades. School is definitely not easy, and you expressed that in a unique way. Good job and keep writing!