I hate going to sleep. It takes me places where I should never go. I'm always asked about the bruises under my eyes, but I lie, I say 'no big deal'. But... it really is. Keeping the light on doesn't help, my eyelids bring the darkness to conquer it.
Why? Why is there so much screaming? Why am I running? Why am I so... so alone? Another shriek joins mine, I turn. I'm not alone. It's so much worse, there's so much blood... so, so much! Why? Why am I suffering? What did I do? More screams join in and I look at them, their wrists linked together by metal chains, hovering above the ground.
I can't move, I can't save them. Hot tears begin to run down my face, I touch my hand to my cheek, it comes off red. I'm dying, dying... but still alive to witness my family's suffering. Why? Why? What did I do? Oh, please take this away! I'm begging, on my knees, screaming.
I try to drown out their cries. Some invisible being hurts them. I hear the cracks. I hear the snaps. Oh, help. Oh, help. let me save them! LET ME SAVE THEM!
I can't move, can't move. can't move! just let me go to them! Let me go, let me go, LET ME GO! I'M SORRY! LET ME SAVE THEM! I'm being held, pulled away. NO! I struggle, can't move, can't move, can't move!
LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME SAVE THEM! I'm sobbing, blood drips on the floor, sizzling. I'm crying, screaming, thrashing. Can't move, can't move, can't move! LET ME SAVE THEM!
I wake up held by my blankets and run out of my bedroom. I go to every room, one by one, and check on them all. Running my fingers on their foreheads. Safe, safe. Just a dream, just a dream. I breathe deeply. My baby sister begins to cry, I get her from her crib and hush her. She's safe. They're safe. Just a dream.
But it scares me so much.